Hi all, im feeling pretty good at the mo helped no doubt by philip on bgt i laughed so much at his louis spencer i thought i was going to wee hehe. It felt good to laugh i really should try to do it more, Im always to serious and looking around for the dangers even when they arent present that at times i forget laughter is the best medicine. Anyway alround okish day, deep in the back of my mind is my new habit of thinking im going to become victim to the toungue and mouth swelling !! dont know why I think its because it happended to someone on fb the other day so it was something for my nemisis to run with (new name for anxeity) im tryin to ignore her. Im begining to realise that no matter where you go or who you are with etc if something bad is going to happen then it will and if i spend the next god knows how many years of my life worrying about it ill have no life left to live. Im a prime example of people having the ITS NOT FAIR gene and WHY ME but you know i cannot complain, I had the crapest of childhoods, abuse mentally and phyiscally tg never sexually, neglect and a mother who would is still to the day more a sister figure, a asbusive first relationship, from which my child lives with him as he has been brainwashed that i was the evil one. and then i met the man of my dreams so all this seemed to be trivial i had finally got it all. my next sone was born with elbs palsy he was 10 pound plus yep lol he got over this for us to find he had chronic granulamatous and he would die without a bone marrow transplant which he has now had and he is here and well then on top of this my hubby got rheumatiod arthritus and the youngest is type one diabetic ( i am repetting in some form to some but bear with as some i havent told and there is a point ) my nana who was my strong safe haven died and i was gutted but ive never cried for her and a year to the day almost my granda followed. All this and i should be screaming and within my right to say why me i hate life etc, and who could blame me, but as i have found this week in the news some dnt live to tell the tale, so my new attitude is to think positive as and when i can. Anyway getting back to the point i have rambled off course :/ i didnt make it out today to the car as planned but i went next door again, so this is good enough for now, tomorrow is a new day :P) xxx
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