My head is playing up

My unwanted thoughts were never this bad It used to come and go and now its 24 hours every day all day they and they scar me and I know that is just making them worse and it feels like its winning I wish it was how it used to be not like this now

[Maggie-cassidy1988]

Hi a hope your ok am going througth something the same only thoughts i have a fear is off dying our iam going to die last time a had it was about 1 year ago ehent away its self but i also have stinging in my eyes them a have to try get a nap witch am scared off in case a dont wake up

[Hidden in reply to Maggie-cassidy1988]

Sorry to hear that u are going throw this too the thoughts scar me and make me panic and then is just a ball of fear

[Maggie-cassidy1988 in reply to Hidden]

No your fine its nice to no other ppl are going througth this to a thougth a was so silly just keep paninc all the time horrible

[Devin76oh]

I've had this happen to me and yes it is scary. You need to be mindful. try to think of other things or things that bring you happiness. It will take some time and some patience but eventually you will get out of it. Try reading and or going for a run. Start noticing things that are in your area. It is impossible to think about two things and do two things at once. Prayer is what helped me. It made me focus on hope and anchoring myself to hope. You were OK before, which means you can be OK again.

[Hidden in reply to Devin76oh]

Thank you

[Hidden in reply to Devin76oh]

I can't stop being afraid of the anxiety and it's getting worse.

[Devin76oh in reply to Hidden]

remove can't from your vocabulary. Yes you can be un-affraid. You have to start being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Eventually it will go away. So your scared. Right now you are scared, you can recognize it and know it is there.

You have to retrain yourself that you are not scared and that bein scared is just an emotion and not a state of life. Look up Beevee . This person is member on this site. They explain it very well. It makes a lot of sense. Cheers

[Beevee]

Hi Glitterangel103

Worrying , disturbing thoughts is just a symptom of your anxiety. My thoughts centred on my wife and the more I tried to get rid of them, push them away or control them, the more they stuck in my head. The thoughts just seemed to enter my head without me even thinking about them.

The reason they stick is because you spend your whole day trying to figure it all out about the way you feel which just adds to all the confusion and tires your mind (in the same way hours of studying will tire your mind to the point that you stop absorbing the information).

The thoughts then become your habit and keep going round and round in your head like a stuck record. This just adds more tiredness to your mind which is already exhausted thinking about the problem. Because your mind is exhausted, thoughts just stick around, especially those that feel scary. The good news is, habits can be reversed.

The thoughts feel bad because your anxiety magnifies your emotions tenfold so little things that would not have bothered you when you were well now feel very important and very scary. The problem is that you are trying to fix your tired mind with a tired mind and end up going round in circles. In other words it is like trying to fix a problem with a problem and end up with a bigger problem.

Anxiety is just excessive adrenalin that needs an outlet which, for you, are scary, irrational, strange thoughts. Do not worry, your mind is not scarred. The thoughts are not important and should just be seen for what they are, anxiety just playing its tricks. Anxious thoughts are totally normal when suffering with anxiety.

The trick is to realise that these thoughts are not real and let it all go. They may make you feel awful but you need to give your tired mind the rest it needs by not trying to figure them out, not push them away, not resist them or try to control them. It does take time learning to loosen your grip on those thoughts and let them be there but the more you practice, the easier it gets. Moments of clarity will come and you will see the thoughts for what they truly are. Completely bogus. Lies. It is only the anxiety that makes them feel real because they come with such force, demanding your attention. Please, please remember that they are not important and will eventually disappear without trace if you give up the struggle. You may even have a giggle to yourself in times of clarity because you will see how absurd it all is. I had really bad thoughts about my wife and spent all day trying to battle them. At times I couldn't even bear to be near her because I feared the reactions and would worry about it some more, adding more fuel to the anxiety fire. However, in moments of peace, those thoughts just weren't there and I begun to realise that it was all a complete bluff. This made it easier to let go of them and stop caring about them which takes away all their power.

Recovery from anxiety and all its symptoms is a gradual process and comes off in layers. There will be times where you may feel that you have been dragged back into the anxiety bog (setbacks) but don't despair. Setbacks are part of the recovery process and the more you accept that the symptoms are just anxiety and completely harmless (not to mention false) the easier it gets until it no longer matters.

Don't be afraid to think anything. It might feel uncomfortable now but acceptance will bring about recovery. It may be useful for you to look up a post I did a few days ago about first and second fear. Basically, it is your reaction to the scary thought that keeps the thoughts coming so you need to develop a "so what?" attitude to them instead of adding more fear which is usually prefixed with "What if?"

Give up the fight!

[Beevee]

First and second fear.....

You may also be unwittingly keeping yourself in the cycle by adding "second " fear to the thoughts and feelings. To understand what this means, the following is taken from a book called Essential Help For Your Nerves by the late great Dr Claire Weekes. If you don't already own a copy, buy one. It is the "go to" manual to recover from anxiety.

A person not suffering from nervous illness will occasionally experience "first" fear. It is the fear that comes immediately in response to danger. The person understands it and accepts that it will soon pass after the danger passes. The flash of first fear that comes to a sensitised person (anxiety sufferer) in response to danger can be so electric in its swiftness and so out of proportion to the danger causing it, it cannot be readily dismissed and the sufferer usually recoils from it. In recoiling from the feeling, the suffer adds a second flash of fear. They add fear of the first fear. Indeed, the sufferer may be much more concerned with the physical feeling of panic than with the original danger. And because of that old bogey, sensitisation of their nerves, the first flash of fear is prolonged and the second flash may seem to join it. This is why 2 fears feel as one.

Second fear is easy to recognise because it is prefixed by "what if....?" or "oh my goodness, it took me 3 sleeping tablets to get me to sleep last night. What if 3 don't work tonight?" "What if I get worse, not better?" So many "what ifs" or "oh my goodnesses" make up second fear. Do you recognise this?

Anxiety sufferers don't realise that it is the second fear they add that keeps them in the anxiety cycle. First fear will always pass but it is your reaction to the second fear that will break the cycle.

This is what I mean by not fighting the thoughts or feelings, not trying to figure it all out. Leg the first thought come with its flash but don't shrink from it. Let the thought come and do its worst but learn not to add the "oh my goodness, here it is again."

If you read the book, you will understand what is happening to you and with this knowledge and understanding, it helps to remove alot of the fear and uncertainty. Also known as "What if?" or "oh my goodness...."

Once you get the hang of reacting the right way ( by doing nothing) you are accepting which will eventually calm your nerves, thus removing the first fear too. The golden key to recovery of all anxiety disorders is total acceptance.

[Hidden]

I read that book. It said if your afraid of the anxiety it will get worse. That's way I can't stop being afraid. It's now an obsessive thought that I can't stop being afraid of anxiety which keeps it getting worse. I wish I never read that book. And I'm on medicine. It's like I'm doing it to myself but can't stop.

[Hidden]

The anxiety scares me and I can't stop being afraid of it. What do I do?

[Hidden]

It makes me scared it makes me sad and all I do is cry. It makes me not want to eat. I'm unhappy. I know if I stop being afraid it will go away but I can't stop.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

puppy11, you need to change "I can't" into "I think I can" and then finally into

"I knew I could"... x

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I'll try but the thoughts are obsessive but I do notice when the anxiety is down so are the thoughts. I think I need electro shock therapy to get rid of thoughts

[Hidden]

I inherited this negativity. Everyone tells me the same thing but I have no self confidence.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

puppy, I believe that if you lived a life of never given any self confidence in what you did or accomplished you would feel negative about yourself. You say you are on medication but it sounds like you also need intensive therapy along with it. x

[Hidden]

I have been getting therapy. That's why I'm scared. I'm not getting better.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

puppy, then it is the wrong kind of therapy. You are stuck right now and need someone to direct you. Maybe in -patient should be addressed. That is up to a psychiatrist. Maybe the medication isn't right. There are a lot of possibilities in which none should be ignored. It makes me sad that you are going in circles and getting nowhere.

[Hidden]

I live in an area where there aren't a lot of good therapists. And when you find one they don't have time to see you.

[Hidden]

I just want to be better.