Bank Holiday Blues

Yes here I am laying in bed crippled by heart failure and anxiety.Last night I slept for two hours and today I feel really pee'd off.Where I am it's a lovely sunny day and it looks as though it's quite warm,my neighbour is mowing his lawn,

topless.,but I can't even get out.

Anyway this blog is not about me it is about people like my lovely wife...THE CARERS....Because I can't go out my wife won't go out.Because I can't sleep my wife won't sleep.Yet she does all the caring all the worrying and all the work.

We've been married since 1966....some of you may remember 1966 for other reasons......and never been apart except for a couple of hospitalisations.

I am hoping that there may be other carers who read these pages and can tell me if there is anyway my wife can have a break.

She won't go out unless she knows I am in safe hands.Does anyone know please if perhaps I could go somewhere for perhaps a day so that she could go and visit our daughter for a while?

Thanks for your help as usual



50 Replies

  • Thank you

  • lol, do you mean that xxx

  • ermmm both of you and i havent got a clue xxx

  • ive done it by accident a few times xxx

  • :-D


  • yes it is easily done

  • Did you blog on my post then?

  • Hi Grogboy

    I'm so so sorry you're feeling so rough, and i understand your concern about your wife. I've been a carer, and it can be stressful, even though it's a choice and you do it out of love, as i'm sure your wife does!

    There is lots of help for carers, organisations which provide "replacement" carers for a few hours/day so your wife could go out, visit friends or whatever, and respite care if necessary. The best place to start is The Princess Royal Trust for Carers/Crossroads - lots of info/support/advice on there!

    Go to:

    I was a member, and they're brilliant!

    good luck, hun, hope they can help

    Lots of love



  • Brilliant advise Rose

    Hope this helps grogboy as we all think a lot of you on here

    Even though you are purple ;-)


  • Oh whywhy you are so kind

    Thank you so much

    Purple Grog


  • Thank you so much.I remember that when I first joined this site you were the first to help me

    Thank you once again the information you have given me is invaluable

    Also when are you going to open up your garden again?



  • You're welcome, Purple Grogboy ;) hope it helps!

    Hope to open up the Garden again soon,haven't been too good myself, but fingers crossed, we'll have a party soon, hope you'll come! :-D

    Lots of love



    PS By law your wife has a right to have her needs as a carer assessed by Social Services - might be another route to explore?

  • Thank you rose,had not thought of social services.

    Yes I'd love to come to your next party and hope you feel better soon



  • the garden is always open grog, im in there now doing a bit of weeding lol. the cats are with me, helping as usual. xxx my OH does everything to help me as well as go to work. i feel so useless at times, then i remember that she has the pleasure of my company so we are evens lol xxx she would kill me lol xxx

  • Great answer as usual Cookie. I feel absolutely useless as well but not really sure if my wife thinks my company is a pleasure


  • Your wife loves you very much & that's why she is there

    You must be a special man , don't forget it

    Now lets see if with our help we can get some help so she can go out now & again

    While she is out you can come to the party on here ;-)


  • You are a lucky person whywhy.

    I have just spent half an hour telling you all about my wife and myself in a reply of over 600 words.It is the first real that I have opened up to anybody.I pressed the enter button to send the reply and nothing happened.My broadband had gone down and now it has all been lost Oh well I got if off my chest even if no body was able to read it!!



  • I wouldn't say I was lucky

    I would have loved to have read what you had to say

    Maybe you might feel like it again & if you do I will look forward to reading it

    But like you said , I hope it helped just putting it down into words


  • Thanks whywhy I'll make sure my doogle doesn't fall out this time

  • O please do , it could be painful , we don't want anything falling out , we have enough problems :-D


  • i only know for sure that mine does,in my mind lol.

  • Your mind , well that's a whole new topic :-D

    We all love you Cookie & purple grog ;-)


  • Knowles, Grogboy's WIFE is his carer - 24/7!!!!

  • I no

  • Then I don't understand your question! :(

  • I have worked with adults and children who are ill, I was interested and I do sympathise its a hard job with little sleep

  • me too, palliative care sucks, wouldnt go back into any form of care work now as i dont think ive got the right P M A, not to mention being mentaly unstable xxx

  • Oh cookie

    I thought you were going to come and be my carer when my wife gets her respite.

    I was just composing some poems about latrines.

  • If you would let Cookie near you to care for you , I think you need some extra help :-D

    (JOKE )

    By the time she had finished I don't no who would be caring for who :-D


  • lol, i have an NVQ level 5 you know. im trained in dementia care and mental health lol, xxx

  • Really :-o

    OK , that's very good , I am glad you are trained in dementia , I see now what gets you through :-D



  • That is nice to know.I have dementia and have to leave notes all over my flat to remind me what to do and when.. Trouble is I keep forgetting where I put my glasses so I cannot read the notes.Yesterday the phone rang and someone asked who they were speaking to but I had forgotten my own name.Do you think this is serious?

  • Hi

    Are you getting some kind of care with this from your GP , family ?

    I do think you should speak with your GP love & see what help they can give you

    You take care & let them no how things are , I wouldn't like to think you are not getting any support




  • i like commodes myself, the ones with the wheels lol x

  • Yes my commode is invaluable but it does not have any wheels.

    Can you tell me where to buy one please. Thankyou Mr Cookster

  • yes I care but working as a carer for agencies can be dam right hard work and effects mental health

    The clients are treated badly like robots and the staff,they are in it for money

  • I mean the staff are treated like robots and the clients like shit

  • Most care homes are the same especially those for poor souls suffering from alzheimers

  • knowles

    I do know what you mean.

    I could care for a family member or close friend if I was able but to care for strangers on rubbish wages and to witness what happens to some of the clients must be a nightmare.

    I am sure it would cause me major distress and anxiety

  • i reported one of the places to the CQC, naff all was done. its all about money and budgets, not care, dignity or respect. xxx

  • I see you have dropped the date of birth,did you think no one would suss it out?

  • whats that about, do tell coz it will kill me wondering xxx

  • Hello lindalou

    Nice to speak to you.

    Did you mean me or cookie?I have no secrets about my date of birth it is 1945,

  • mine is 1967, ahhh the summer of love and the only time ive ever won a race lol xxx

  • No Cookster I believe we won the World Cup in 1966 and I think the summer of love was 1978 at least that's what my parents told me.

  • Hello Bertty,

    Thank you for your concern over me last night.I did call 111 as you said and they told me it was a quarter past three in the morning.

  • nope, twas 1967, a social phenomenon by all accounts. xxx

  • well I bet he is not topless today it,s raining hard here

  • Hello and thank you for a great blog.Very entertaining.

  • By the way i have found my commode

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