Where will I end up

Hi all I have serious anxiety and my depression is slightly more controllable since I've been up medication I have been seeking help for atleast 1 year I have Ben on about 4 different medication I have had cbt therapy and a relaxation group. I have now been referred to the community mental health team I have been on there waiting list for about 4 months and finally I have a assessment in a couple of weeks. After all this waiting in the letter I received it said the assessment is to find out if we can do anything to help and it doesn't mean I am getting the support, I have worked so hard seeing loads of people and I have loads of information to show what I am experiencing and I don't think I will ever be happy in this life I have wanted to be put to sleep for a good few years now life is too difficult and I feel it is best if I put to piece, when I go for this assessment if they say they don't think they can help I feel like I will go into a breakdown state as the comunity mental health team is the last resort if they can't help no one can!! My head is really messed up I don't even know what life is and why I am even here. I believe smoking canonised when I was young and drinking a lot of vodka in my past made me a lot worst. My life now- I go to the gym walk my dog and the rest of the time I feel uneasy on edge scared fearfull and dizzy. I need a friend but I can't trust anyone. P.s I haven't took drugs for about 5 years and haven't drunk alkohl for about 2 years, hoping to finally face my illness but I am still in a bad way! Some advice may help thanks.

11 Replies

  • P.s I am a 24 year old male

  • take it easy, if you dont drink or take medication then you are doing really well, better than me I drink some wine but not in the day,

    I wake up and have feelings of dread scared shit, because im overdrawn, just given up a job beause of panic attacks and lonliness

    Why work at night going into peoples houses as a carer

  • Hi I quit my job of 5 years about 1 year ago to really bad depression I just can't get on in life, i am still on medication otherwise I think too much and get worse, as soon as I see a person my heart races I feel in a life or death situation all the time I still go for long walks e.c but all I see is happy people and I am like a walking zombie scared of people approaching me, but it really is a mental problem because I am a strong well muscle lad I just have a really messed up mind.

  • aww i feel like that too,Im a bit fat never used t be

    its not just the pills bt the medication, puts weight on

  • P.s I had really bad panic attacks every day, ask your doctor about fluoxetine it helped my panic attacks very much!! I couldn't even speak about it before!

  • Hiya,

    Tell the mental health team you need some help, tell them about how you feel, all of it, and ask for therapy.

    You've done alot to get off the drugs and alchohol, they wont help you at all. So WELL DONE that is a major achievement, and shows you have a strong mind.

    Life is suffering, and you know that already, its likened to prison, but this cell we live in doesn't have a locked door we can leave at anytime.

    try this its worth a listen, he knows :-)

  • Hi

    As B said well done with getting of drugs & drink

    Don't worry about the letter & how it was worded , they have to word them in that way

    I was seen & am waiting to see a phycologist

    I cant see them turning anyone away , they just have a way of wording things

    You will have a chat with them , they will go away & then come back with what they think is the best way to go & see if you agree

    Welcome to the site , keep talking on here , it will help

    Let us no how you go on




  • I wouldn't hold out too much hope as far as the CMHT are concerned. Because of government cutbacks - which seem to have adversely affected mental health treatments - the buzz word is 'recovery'; everyone is in 'recovery' which essentially means that they leave well alone except to offer to put down your name on various lists. There was a time when Support Workers, CPN's and Social Workers would visit at least once a week and meetings with psychiatrists were at the very least monthly but all of that has now gone. But I think you do need to be assertive with them as far as your own personal needs are concerned. If your problems are affecting your life drastically, and it sounds as if they are, then you are entitled to any form of treatment there is to offer. Good luck.

  • You are a good lad to see that booze and drugs don't help. I wish you could come and talk to my son - he hasn't even reached your stage of enlightenment. (he's 31)

    Other people always look happier than we do when we are going through it. The truth is that there are many out there experiencing what we have at different times in their lives. We don't all have to be the same either - we don't have to be a grinning, social lot. You do have a good friend - you have a dog, who no doubt dotes on you. Animals are wonderful, aren't they?

    You are entitled to help, and cannot be turned down if you feel this bad. Sometimes we have to find a little extra strength to demand it. But you must tell yourself that you have as much right to be here as anyone. You are as worthwhile as anyone -more so than many! This does not have to be for the rest of your life. Don't rush - you have time on your side and you sound sensible enough to work out what's best for you - I'm impressed that you go to the gym.

    My best wishes to you. As Whywhy says - keep talking. xx

  • hiya im new to this site but iv found it so helpfull,i was exacly like you until 4 days ago when i had a massive meltdown,i was so scared ,suicide seemed to be the only option at the time,luckily my boyfriend took me back to my doctors and i ended up sobbing with her for over a hour,she was fantastic,your simptoms sound exacly like mine so im wondering if the same medication might help,i take 150mg venlefaxine in the morning with a 80mg beta blocker,tea time is 75mg venlefaxine again and bedtime 35mg venlefaxine,i now wake up with hope and surprisingly looking forward to the day,maybe this might help you,i hope so but im here if you need someone to talk to,lots of hugs juliexxx

  • Hi, thanks for your advice, I am just about getting by with the medications I'm on. Which are quetiapin 50mg at night that helps be sleep i was getting no sleep before,-iv also been on fluoxetine for a while for depression and panic attacks and I started 50mg twice a day pregabalin for anxiety a few months ago.Although I still hate my life and its mainly down to how I feel, I always negative towards people and think nobody likes me my head is all screwed up and has been for a long time, I know some symptoms I have e.c but I really don't know what is wrong with me and what illness I have because I'm to confused about everything paul

You may also like...