This will end very nasty

I don't know what's wrong with me, I've been working on getting better for 2 years now and I am still very messed up in the head and no1 has the answers I need. I'm seeing the cmht next week no1 really takes me serious i don't think, I have said I will go to a mental hospital what ever it takes! But they don't, just to point out I've been trying as hard as I can to find out what's wrong with me, medications,cbt,seeing specialists,quitting alcohol 2 years ago, I am soooo frustrated I do think I will go out one day and just got absolutely mad, kill people anything. Now I have had to rely on people to get better and I am starting be against the world, I have nothing to loose, what's the worst that can happen? I die and that would really be a good thing!!!!!! 1 day something awfull will happen I can only do so much myself, 1 day I will go out and bang it's all over, I've never tried so hard for anything in my life before , I have sacrificed everything to just feel normal.

6 Replies

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  • I don't think you should give up hope yet! I'm sure you will be able to pull through if you believe you can do it :) I've not had much experience in this type of situation as I suffer from panic attacks and phobias but I think confidence is the key and even if you think you're better off dead, I feel you deserve to live and be happy because that's what everyone is entitled to.

    Keep at it :)

    Beth x

  • I know some times we feel like its never ending I know I'm in this place rite now I suffer from health anxiety and oce I feel like giving up but we can't I will fight this battle one day and so will u try stay strong u have for 2years say to ur self why not another 2 I know its frustrating I feel the same but we have to carry on gd luck xx

  • Hi newb

    I can feel your pain and frustration but hey don't give up i would not say fight it as this does not help. Try and ride with it until the feelings past try breathing exercises and some form of relaxation. I know exactly how your feeling as i am struggling big time with panic attacks, various phobia's where i feel like i am going to faint go dizzy etc and its the most horrible experience in the world.

    Many times i sit and want to throw the towel in but then i get annoyed thinking why should'nt i enjoy life like everyone else, lead a happy normal life.

    You are not alone here we are all trying to cope with demons we have good days and bad. But try and focus on the good days your having with positive thoughts.

    We are all hear to listen and support you and i hope you find some peace.

    Hugs

    Love Seyi xxx

  • Mate! You sounds like you've been through the mill and back again, and having a really tough time!

    It does get better, I promise you! But we all go through highs and lows, and sometimes our lows can be quite painful in the extreme. But you can get through it.

    I think you need help, as we all do from time to time. I think you should consider calling one of the helplines listed in the service - I think they may be able to escalate your case as urgent.

    Here's wishing you all the best mate. Things will get better! Please stay hopeful.

    Peter1

  • hi newb,so sorry your having a rough time,is their no one you could ring,like a helpline or someone,its just to get the ball rolling,and let someone else know how bad your feeling,mayby your family or friends just don't realise,how awful you feel,we are good at hiding our feelings.I understand you perfectly as i've felt that way myself,wanting for it all to just go away,hoping for a miracle.telling my hubby I feel depressed,and he suggests a holiday,when all I really want is a big hug,and a chat..please try to open up to somebody,you'd be surprised how much it helps,you didn't say if you were on medication or not,have you sat down and tried to work out in your head what is making you feel so bad,or unhappy,don't give up on yourself or life..keep posting on here and we will all help each other ,god bless you .xxxxx

  • Hello all, I have read alm your comments and I will take what you say on board, thanks for the support. Miarose I am on 3 different medications but my head is really messed up and god knows if it will ever get put right,I can't really explain much my head is so confused I have done something's in my past and something has caused this, and I will never no what or how to put it right, I am holding on and trying my hardest, I can't see me here in a years time if nothing changes, peace to you all

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