Do any of you who suffer from anexity find its worse it certain social groups ? or with certain people ?

Hi I was just wondering if it was just me or if any one else finds there anxeity plays up in certain situations. I am sadly housebound so longer really know if outside situations are going to be a trigger but i had some friends over the other day, first time in ages and i felt so uncomfortable around them really nervous and juddery, and i stuttered and warbled on about god knows what making a right idiot of myself high pitched one minute low toned the next i was all fidegty and it showed, one left early and in the smaller group i calmed and by the time i felt me again they where going. Maybe it was because it was the first time in ages anyone other than normals entered my home i dont know but it felt awful. Now when I say housebound i can manage to get to the my gate in my front garden and people can walk past and they dont bother me i can even have a conversation and appear normal but they come into that gate and the panic starts. So anyone is this normal? thanks in advance x

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  • I completely understand because even though I want to socialise, it is difficult for me not to experience some anxiety too; even if it's family visiting since they rarely come over for a chat.

    I loathe going to busy places too. Cities are hell. Whenever I'm invited to a work dinner, I have to really think about if I want to go or not since often the group is large.

    On an odd note though, I don't mind speaking in front of a crowd about a topic important to me - but on the contrast, small talk is hard for me.

    I often put this issue down to the fact I have a introverted personality; socialising I find is hard work for me but I suffer from loneliness too. It's a double edged-sword situation!

    Do you like using phones? I loath those because I cannot see the person I think - so I pace while I'm talking (even when I'm happy; I just tense up!). :(

    I hope this helps you feel a little less alone.

  • Hi Buta, I can understand certain parts as i feel the same, tbh my family never come to see me as they are always busy doing things. Busy places are out the window but when I was going out they where never my favoitite places, I hated the queues and such. The larger groups in the past have only bothered me depending on the place etc. But like you I do feel very lonely, i have a wonderful hubby but sadly lack close friends, as I cannot be outgoing and popular, but this is me. I can fully understand the phone thing, even phoning my mum is not a sit down feet up convo its a case of walk t window then to back door repeat motion fiddle with something walk to window etc and strangers on the phone leave me making no sense and talking nonsense x Im glad i can see its a normal anexity thing its one of the things that make me feel better just knowing Im not alone out there in my mad world thanks x

  • It's funny you mention about your partner. My partner is my rock, but like you say, I also do frequently feel lonely. I think my partner does too sometimes but I think it bothers me more than it does him.

    This has got me wondering if it's a trust thing - I don't think I pace on the phone to my partner because I trust him more than others. Not sure though since I avoid it when I can. ;)

    You've helped me feel a little less alone too. Thank you too donver.

  • Im glad we helped each other Buta x I get a bit worried at times I ask to much of my hubby he seems to do a lot but he assures me he is doing it for me as I would for him which is correct, on the phone situation now I think I dont pace with the hubby I dont sit and relax I tend to stand still in one place though lol seems funny now I think. Thank you x hope we speak again some time :)

  • I'm generally thought to be a very sociable person but that's often been an obstacle to people I know believing that I suffer from panic disorder and agoraphobia, they just can't understand how I can be. My Grandfather continually says 'don't be shy'. I'm not shy! I love talking to people when I'm not experiencing the paralysing effects of my condition. On reflection I've realised that when I'm well I can deal with small informal groups of people but in a larger group I feel more anxious, especially meetings. Feelings of 'being judged' are a big deal for me.

  • ty agora I think my main problem is others judging i hate to think they are but then i understand they do no matter what so its a vicious circle x

  • Hi,

    Depending on my anxiety levels, socialising is easy or very hard. I like to be with a small group of friends, not one-to-one. I dislike people visiting me, I try to always visit others, it's the escape thing, if they are at mine, I just want them to leave. If my anxiety is bad, I wont even answer the phone as I really don't want to be mithered.

    Eunice x

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