Last few weeks..

Think the last post I done was about moving out and in with my OH.

Well it didn't work out and now I'm back living with my mum and dad. I've got mixed emotions about it, my OH wasn't interested in playing houses for the first few week like I thought we would and I was left on my own for a full 2 days whilst they were off galavanting and I started feeling really crappy and lonely. I won't go into the ins and outs of it as I could be here all night but just know my OH(now ex) didn't really care that I said I was leaving of they didn't come back and sort it out, just accused me of trying to be controlling, which I'm really not. But anyway...for the first few days I was home I felt okayish...had no palpitations and felt sort of empty but in a good way.

Today however I'm starting to feel all these emotions, hurt, sadness, and I'm starting to miss my now ex. I know we won't ever work but I'm just so over it all. My first love, and this has went on and off for 8 years so I do think it's time this came to an end.

If blabbed on for ages lol but I felt like getting some words off my chest. The palpitations are back today with a vengeance so I think that's depressing the hell out of me as well.

Xxx

[Hidden]

Oh Ashley

First love always hurts the most , I still remember mine , but wont bore you with the details

Now you will no doubt go through a mixture of emotions , like you say from feeling , empty , to wanting to cry , to getting angry , wanting them back , blaming yourself , blaming them , to name a few , & we have to go through all this to come out the other end

I no its not a big help but wanted to say it is very normal & we will be here to help you & one day you will be able to look back on this & maybe feel nothing but relief thinking , oh thank goodness , i wouldnt have been happy like I am now (as you will meet someone else)

The palps are your anxiety & they will come back , your emotions have took a battering , luckily you will soon have that monitor on & when you get the all clear (which you will ) you will be able to accept "yes" anxiety & nothing else is causing this & then hopefully the fear will get less & they will disappear all together

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I worry that I won't get over it, I've split up with my ex loads of times...the most was for a year and I still didn't get over it. I guess I just learned to live with it. That doesn't bother I can go back to that, it's just I I went on other dates and what not and I just didnt feel anything for anyone else that I did my ex. Lol I'm so dramatic

Xxx

[Hidden]

Hello BOB here

Sorry for what has gone on. Sadly this is all too common these days.

All I can suggest is that you pick yourself up and start again, all of above happens as part of life and of course life is a bitch, This comes with the territory of being human and falls somewhere between births, deaths and marriages.

Now you need to be kind to yourself and take stock of your life and find some form of distraction that does not include the OH. One thing do not jump to quickly, give it time to settle, sometimes the old ways may be the best. Time is a healer

Good luck, keep a hold

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your kind words...it's all true. I know it when I explain to other people, but telling myself is another story lol

X

[Hidden]

Hey you. So sorry you're going through this I know its hard and I know you're hurting. All the things you are feeling are normal. You'll be fine though I promise. We are all here for you so keep blogging when you're feeling crap.

Biggg hugggs xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hey will

Thanks for being amazing! I mean that xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hey Ashley.

You're more than welcome. Don't forget you're pretty awesome to x

[Hidden]

Hey

I feel for you, I ended a relationship last march and that's when I first came on here, Ive really struggled but I also know Ive done the right thing and although my anxiety is sky high I know 100% its the right thing.... we do however still have to go through a grieving process so don't be too hard on yourself.... you know you've done the righ thing..... and it will all be ok!!

big hugs xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah when I first came here I had ended the same relationship as I couldn't handle being in it and we ended up back together..so here I am again back here. It's hard I keep reminding myself I've done the right thing. Aaahhhhh lol xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Don't beat yourself up about getting back together, its easy to do cos the future can seem scary and easier to stick with what you know, even when you know its not right. But we all know in the long run youll be back in the same situ and you deserve better. The hurt does fade with time, I came on here for the same reason, we've all been there and are living testament that you can get beyond the hurt, loss and sadness........... its just a grieveing process so allow yourself some time, and look after yourself and be nice to yourself and do whtat you want xx

[thomson1898]

Sorry it didn't work out Ashley, but hey, you gave it a try, now you know, otherwise you'd always be wondering.

Allow yourself some time knowing it will get better.

Wishing you well

x

[Hidden in reply to thomson1898]

Hey

Thanks for that, I've been here a million times with this same person but I think it's because I know there is no where to go from here now and it's got to be permanent that's the hard part.

Xx