Anyone else get agoraphobia occasionally?

I keep hearing "join a gym" "join a class" "go for a run". However simply going to the shops to buy food is terrifying me. I wish I could do all these things but I just feel I can't leave the house at the moment unless I have to. I've been waiting for people to call round so I can walk to the shops with them but I have been let down a few times. I am hoping no one calls round today now so I don't have to go out. I feel so alone I really wish I didn't live alone but I have no choice at the moment. I'm moving out my house which is full of bad memories and it seems to be making me feel worse. Everything in the house is chaos I need more boxes and paint and things to move but can't seem to get any confidence to get these things done. So overwhelmed right now would love to know if anyone else lives alone and finds leaving the house scary am I the only one?

8 Replies

  • Hi there,

    I'm the same, I only leave the house if I have to and then it takes a dogs age. I fanny about in the hallway. My OH will open the door and I'll run the other way lol. I can't even go in my garden or look out the front window. If someone knocks my door I'll nearly have a heart attack while legging it upstairs to the top of the house.

    I know this behaviour is unreasonable and it's not who I am. I used to hate being indoors but now hate been outside. The thought of having to go outside fills me with fear and dread so no you are not alone.

    I do know though that I will get better but it will take time.

    Good luck with the move which I know is stressful enough without how you are feeling. Let us know how you get on. We will do our best to support you.

    Love Cookie xxxxx

  • Thanks Cookie why oh why do we feel like this? I think it's very complicated but I wish it wasn't affecting me so much. I wish I had an OH to help me so much but mine buggered off when they realised how unwell I was physically (I have ulcerative colitis). I keep trying to get them to help me move out as we moved in together but her way of dealing with being so cruel and running away (3 weeks before I was hospitalised) is to completely ignore me and pretend I don't exist. I haven't heard from her since she ran away, telling me I was lying about being ill to get benefits, what a (insert swear word) she was. Ooh I feel angry with her for the way she left me but worse things have happened to others, I know. I must learn from this and now I know signs when getting to know people if they are good or bad. All the signs where there that she was bad but I ignored them. Eek! Just read your story about yesterday glad you enjoyed yourself and hope your day relaxing is nice. x

  • you have my support i live alone i get this as well i cant go out on my own because of my blackouts but sometimes even when i have to i just cant do it the fear of not coming back is to is a very big thing but dont give up..regards

  • thanks mozart, the thing I keep thinking is the lonely walk home the effort it takes to walk anywhere. I keep thinking if I had a car I would do more but I'm sure I wouldn't. I think the best advice I have been told is to take small steps just go a short distance then come home.

  • Same here too! I know exactly how you feel. I've luckily enough got back to the gym, which helps, but that's because I go with my mum. Every day is a struggle, I get nervous every day at the thought of going there. But to me, the only way to get through agoraphobia is to just keep going out. It's certainly not easy, I know! But I've gone from not stepping foot outside my house, to going to the gym, close shops and in a car to counselling or jumble sales. CBT would be helpful, it's helped me to be able to get out. Baby steps is the way forward. I don't like being too far away from home, I don't feel comfortable being outside. But my 'safety zone' has stretched. I feel generally okay in the gym, I felt generally okay at the counselling. Exposure to it does help. I have a long way to go (I haven't gone in to town for about 9 months, too scared!) but I will do one of these days. My safety behaviour is... oh if it's too bad, I'll just get a cab and come home. I find it's not as easy when no one you know is able to drive you there. I still feel scared being in a cab, because of it being a stranger, I'm scared of panic. My old friend had agoraphobia when she was just 15, I didn't understand it. All I knew was that it was hard for her to leave the house. Now I completely understand just how hard it is. It's easy for people to say... oh you just need some fresh air. But we're scared to go out in the 'fresh air'!! Take care xxx

  • Thanks Chelle, it's nice to hear I'm not alone but quite frustrated all my family live so far from one another as I know they would help me more if we lived closer. Just thought living in a city is what I wanted when I was young but now leaving the city seems scary. I'm moving somewhere soon not far but it is a building with flats in (I'm in a house now) so there will be people surrounding me and luckily I already know a couple of them and can hopefully pop in and chat to them from time to time. I've never been happy going out on my own much unless I have a definite reason to be somewhere, I just won't at the moment. I am doing group therapy with a small amount of CBT involved and I have just made an appointment for counselling but it won't be for a few weeks. I am also stopping all intoxicants I once used as a crutch, that is making my anxiety very strong I think. I know someone is coming round today but I am still scared to go out with them I don't know them that well but it is all part of me trying to get better and change my life and get rid of this anxiety and depression. I really hope once I've moved home it will become easier. I've moved every 2 years since I was 18 now I'm 35 I've had absolutely all I can take of moving home. I must find somewhere I can stay for longer than 2 years or else I feel I will go mad as a hatter. I am on the housing list so that day may come soon. I hope all you are doing is making you feel better. We need to proud of ourselves for all that we have achieved in this cruel world. Hopefully it will become much less cruel when the temperature finally gets nice out. WHo knows I'm starting to feel I'm not quite with it today head is all over the place waiting for people to show up to my house. I hope they are gentle with me I'm feeling so scared today.

  • I know how you feel...I'm lucky that I can still get out most of the time, just don't ask me to leave the ground floor or go to the back of least I live in my city centre, a bit of a double edge sword - can get to many shops quickly but don't like being confined in this densely populous area, don't mind going out - just terrified I wont be able to come back quick enough in case I feel sick...yep we tell ourselves whatever the specific thing fear is ott, then we go out and feel ok, then as soon as we think about the next time it obviiously will be a disaster because the last time was fine....arrrgggggh

    Good luck

  • Hi I understand how you feel , I have had a very bad week,I can't even go for a walk , I can stand in a queue at a till paying for the shopping and suddenly feel as if I will fall over its a horrible feeling,I would love to go to the gym but the thought of it just makes me feel ill my hands and feet sweat and then my head feels if its not on my shoulders. I know people say try a little bit every day but its very hard. X

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