I dont understand my agoraphobia?

I dont understand why going out alone is such a struggle for me but if im with someone then i can manage. Are there any other sufferers on here that can share there experience? When im alone i get a certain distance from the house and my legs turn to jelly and i cant control them properly. I see a cbt therapist but he just tells me to go for a walk which is obvious but i cant not past certain points. Any advice would be gratefully recieved?

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  • I had and still have some aspects of agarophobia. In the beginning it was so bad I couldn't even bear to be alone and could only walk a certain distance to a certain point even with somebody outside my house then had to turn around and come back filled with anxiety. I could go places with people as well but not alone. I actually drove for the first time this week by myself and I can walk by myself pretty much anywhere now. What has helped me is medication ( on celexa) and my psychologist. I still get panicky at times but once you know you can do it and you survived it keeps you motivated to do more. Also try to keep positive, do baby steps like taking even three more steps then yesterday is a win. You will have jelly legs but you can continue walking with those jelly legs.

  • Thanks for your reply....id love to know more about how you did it? How long did you have this problem for???

  • I don't know if you read any of my other posts but I got a double whammy with diagnosis of Lyme disease which I am sure messed with my already high anxiety levels. I was managing ok for 20 years on Zoloft but then my PCP took me off and put me on busphar only which was not a good idea and messed me up even further. This has been going on since January. I think I actually posted regarding having symptoms of agarophobia at one point. There are rocks at the end of my driveway that I could just not pass for weeks and felt exactly like you with shaking and overwhelming fear. I am telling you that try tAking even two to three more steps every day and you will feel good about yourself even though I know it feels so horrible. And if you just can't do it one day don't go into negative thoughts, you can try again tomorrow. As I said, medication has helped calm me down and dissipate that overwhelming fear feeling and the jelly legs to some degree so that you can go on. I still I am not recovered by far but I can acknowledge I have made some progress. I also have a great psychologist who always makes me feel better about myself. You can always message me and we can help each other.

  • Thank you so much xxxxx

  • Hi there there are a couple of good books that can help you with this - DARE by Barry McDonagh and Anxiety Panicking about Panic by Joshua Fletcher x

  • Thank you i will look them up. Are you speaking from experience or just some good books you heard of????

  • Also the Claire Weeks book is really good.

  • I have recently read them both and trying to put it into practice they made a lot of sense and needed some more practical guidance to move forward with my anxiety. Good luck x

  • So are you agoraphobic?

  • Hi poppet36, as you can see by my name (which I earned) I was agoraphobic for 6 years. I wouldn't go out alone or with someone. It was a time that the fear of fear became so overwhelming that I choose to hide from the world hoping to hide from anxiety. One day everything I learned through my daily phone therapy sessions (yes daily) as well as my doctor and nurses coming to my home started to seem up surd. CBT helped me take those small steps to realize the fear was in me and not outside.

    I started slowly in sitting on the porch to walking around in the backyard, to sitting in my car in the garage, to taking it for a spin around the block, to going a little further each time. I didn't have anyone to go with me, so at the beginning I would phone my therapist letting her know I was venturing out. Just knowing she was there in case of a "what if" helped tremendously.

    But after a while, even that seemed sick. So I started meditating more often in the day before going out. I started getting angry with this nonsense that my brain was feeding me. I started accepting more and more that this could not harm me and that I was safe within myself. I didn't need someone to be with me. I could do it alone. Ah..."I could" and not "I can't", changed my way of thinking. The positive mind change as well as deep breathing got me where I am today.

    You can do poppet36, small steps, positive thinking, acceptance and deep breathing will get you there. My best x

  • Thank you its so nice to talk to someone that has actually gone through it. Its my lwgs they just wont seem to work with my brain. Would you say your totally cured now?

  • I am poppet36 to some extent. Anxiousness will always be a part of me but those jelly legs are gone. They are a thing of the past. I now have a greater understanding of anxiety, it's causes, it's reasons as well as it's answers. You will too. Believe in yourself. Stay strong and remember you are never alone x

  • Ah its a nightmare I couldn't even go to my local shop which was just around the corner before I opened the door my heart would race and walking with the jelly legs I rushed there could not wait to get back to my comfort place. I had cbt and they set goals for me everyday little by little like go the local shop at least 3 times a day till I no longer fear it and I felt a lot better and proud of myself I did it I no longer fear the "local shop". It's takes time and a lot of courage taking baby steps day by day and you will no longer fear it. My big challenge I have to do is the city centre to go clothes shopping as I do everything on line 😕you can do it keep telling yourself that do not fear it.

  • Well done for what you have achieved so far..i admire you. Stay in touch xxxx

  • I can't leave e house or be anywhere alone. As a brain injury patient & unstable epileptic I'm truly fearful of suffering T/C seizures in public. Not helped by some bas#ad recently videoing a rest seizure & positing it on Facebook. But the intensity/verity of my "biggie" seizures really do plac m in dangles situations ere I to be alone.

  • Your situation sounds very difficult. I was epileptic as a child until about age 8. Its very scary. You need to contact facebook and have that video taken down which they will do if you bring it to there attention. Some people are so nastry and cruel. Do you live with someone? X

  • Hi poppet36. It's good of you to respond. Yes I'm with my wife & adult kids. The video has upset them quite a bit. I will contact FB about the video but as I know who's responsible, there's more than one way to skin a cat as they say.

  • Glad you have people around you. Hope the person responsible for posting on fb gets what they deserve.....i really hate bullies and thats what they are. I also believe in karma!!!!

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