Finding people hard to deal with

I guess I am quite a private person. But I find people's needs to know your business very hard to deal with.

I don't like telling lies but I find myself put in a position where I have to because I really do not want to say 'I suffer with anxiety/depression and didn't feel like coming out' these same people don't actually care they really just want to pry. They add stress to your life because you then become uncomfortable around them as you are left wondering what prying question they will ask next, I don't like being rude but it puts you in a situation, unfortunately because you are a little evasive it makes them worse, I feel even annoyed at the moment about it...don't people realise if you want to talk about it you will, and if you want to say we're you have been you will...the result of this for me is to avoid going to see them at all. That is difficult to do when you have seen them for at least once a week for a while, and when you don't go they are kind of annoyed.

Things are said that hurt you eg your not the same anymore' the last thing you want to hear when you are suffering with anxiety. And no I'm not the same anymore because you are making me shut down with your prying ways and no I don't come here as much because my life has somewhat changed...I feel like screaming at them LEAVE ME ALONE and get on with your own lives I gradually go less and less which is a shame as it was somewhere for me to go and I would continue going if I didn't feel they want to bombard me to go to further social events and not with a kind invitation but with an attitude of you have to come..

Sorry for the long moan but it is really hard for me to deal with and what was a nice social outlet for me has turned into an anxiety ridden get together...

7 Replies

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  • Oh i know where your coming from, but i can still also see both sides.

    Its horrible to have to explain yourself because most people do not understand what having anxiety is like and they think you can 'snap out of it' or 'talk through your problems'.

    But from the other side i can see maybe they are concerned that you are retreating away ( i know why you are, but they dont) and because its so easy to 'snap out of it' they are wondering why you dont.

    It's good your venting frustration on here.

    We can all understand then you can go back to the normal life feeling lighter and more relaxed to put up with more prying eyes lol.

  • Thank you Karen for your response much appreciated. I totally agree with what you say. This has been a bit different and more complex than I write. But I understand what you are saying, it is not a case that they are concerned about me, it's a social place were people come and go all the time. I guess I can't say more than that at this stage. Much appreciate your response though

    Hope you have a great day

    X

  • Hi sleepless, I understand what you mean. For years I hide my anxiety from family and friends and like you got accused of being odd and 'not your usual self'. My family about from my hubby still don't know I suffer from anxiety and depression, my mother suffers very badly too and if she knew I also suffered she would blame herself and I would have to cope with that. My in laws don't know either because they are of the mindset, that you just need to give yourself a good shake and get in with life. So no understanding there.

    I hide it from my friends for a while but I got fed up being 'happy' when I wasn't and started to avoid social situations like you said. A new girl started in work and she told me straight away she had anxiety issues and I really respected her honesty. So I told her I also suffered, I get round it with other people by saying I'm stressed for some reason it doesn't sound as bad as anxiety.

    Not sure anything of this is any help, but just to let you know you aren't alone :) x

  • Thank you Tara, much appreciate your response and letting me know I'm not alone in tis.

    I think it's sometimes the bullyish way that people do things connected with social events that bothers me most.

    Hope your day is going well x

  • i never go to my boyfriends familys houses anymore, i cant take all the questions and im a crap at lying. i leave feeling bad esp when his grandad said tut tut when i said i wasnt working. i feel like saying f**k o*f and mind your own business i dont pick at your life!

  • Sam totally get you on this...I had the same thing about leaving my job.

    I did laugh when I read your message ,,sorry, but I feel like saying the same thing as you to the ones I'm talking about. :) ...should never judge people should they , have no idea what's going on, I guess that's a good thing about this illness it opens your eyes and mind to things and hopefully teaches us not to be the same as them xx

  • if they went through it they would probably feel quite bad that they put us in that position in the first place. dont know it could just be my boyfriends family.....they think there sh*t dont stink:) xxxxx

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