Proud of my son and myself

[Penguinlover09]

my son talked to his dad by himself saying that he wants to start going over every other Friday instead of just Friday. I am so proud of him. All his dad said was okay. My mother in law however called me (I was expecting this) crying saying she feels like she’s losing everyone. She said I don’t talk to her anymore and she was always there for me and I finally had the conversation my therapist has been telling me to have and told her “it’s not you it’s me” I told her I want to still have a relationship with her but right now I can’t it’s still too fresh and reopens my wounds and reminds me of my life isn’t anymore. She said she understands and will respect it and wait for me to call her now. She said she feels like she’s losing my son too because he doesn’t want to go over. I told her it’s not about her that my son is just trying to figure out how to handle a completely different life and I think is testing the waters to see if his voice is heard or he has any say. She said she thinks he doesn’t want to go because he’s worried about me. I said I don’t think so because he’ll play outside for hours without checking on me if he was worried I think he would. She said but last time he was here he was on video call with you the entire time…she’s getting surgery the end of April and said my son can’t go over that weekend because his dad doesn’t want to deal with my son and the dog by himself which makes no sense considering he told me son that he’s over reacting to the dog… honestly I think he just wants the house to himself so he can bring his new girlfriend over because not wanting to handle him and the dog by yourself is a lame excuse. You are 40 years old you can’t figure out something? Like maybe keep the dog on a lease while our son is there so he has control…

I also think I’m starting to miss the future I imagined I would have-growing old with someone. Not so much missing him, but I don’t know maybe I’m just scared. I don’t want to start all over. I’m scared. I was comfortable with my ex and I think a big part of that was because we both weren’t that experienced so now I’m terrified that nobody will want me at 35 if I’m not good at anything intimate because of my lack of experience…

I drew this yesterday…gosh I wish I could afford therapy twice a week

[BlueStroganoff]

I admire all the hard conversations you were able to have with your MIL. Wishing you strength and calm during this storm 🙏🏼

[Penguinlover09 in reply to BlueStroganoff]

Thank you! I am feeling a bit proud

[Light21]

Penguin,

Wow you are going through a lot right now. I’m glad that you’re in therapy and that your therapist seems to be helping you.

It’s great that your son stood up to his dad about when he wants to see him. Also you setting boundaries with your mother in law. Hopefully you can in time have a relationship with her if that’s what you want.

You’re only 35, so you’ve got lots of years ahead of you. I don’t think intimacy is the most important part of a relationship. Sure it matters but open communication is the most important thing and of course mutual respect. You’ll find someone when you’re not even trying to.

Just keep going to therapy and working on you. You got this. It’s going to take time because your divorce is so new.

I liked your drawing, it’s very realistic. Is that you in the bars?

I wish you and your son happiness.

😊

[Penguinlover09 in reply to Light21]

Thank you I know it’s not the only thing in a relationship that matters but I don’t I’m scared. I had therapy today and she wa like ok that’s an unrealistic fear….

And yes it’s me behind the bars trapped in my constant thoughts

[hypercat54]

Well done as those weren't easy decisions to make. And all kudos to your son too. He sounds very mature for his age.

[Penguinlover09 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you! He is!!!

[Lifesearching]

girl first of all that’s incredible artwork it’s so expressive. Have u thought of making a portfolio online?🥺💙second ur not too old, or have too much baggage, no experience etc. real love exists and I have this feeling u will receive all the love and care you lost times 100. Good men exist out there I think this is all a part of your healing is the pain of letting go and creating a new life🙏🏽

[Sunshine-daydream]

very interesting drawing, you can draw your feelings. Must be very therapeutic.