My husband is now not having sex with me at all it has been a month since we have had sex. I understand that his back has been hurting him but that hasn’t stopped him and his live in girlfriend from having sex. He tells me it’s because she can do all the work and he doesn’t have to do anything. He also tells me it’s because she’s more sensual than me. I am totally hitting a depression because I feel like I am nothing and here they go on with their lives like it’s no big deal. She may even be pregnant with child number 3.. I am so sick of my living situation but every single time I try to do something about it a wrench gets thrown in the mix and I can’t go and do what I have planned because he’s around. Oh yeah he also wanted to go and get another girl because his gf messed up when she moved in and he was Olin one of his moods so to get back at her he was gonna have another woman come to our house and he was gonna have sex with her to prove a point. Mind you his back has been hurting him. Again I am so sick of his childish ways and his abusive ways. I hate my life so much that it sucks the only reason I get up is because of my son.
Devastated and frustrated : My husband... - Anxiety and Depre...
Devastated and frustrated
Take your son and leave. If possible go to your parents house. Otherwise go to a place for women who are being abused. This man's behavior is outrageous, but you are letting him get away with it. Leave for your sanity and also because your son should not grow up in this kind of environment.
You are absolutely right however where I live is only 1 shelter and I don’t qualify because they have limited beds/space. I called and this is what I was told. I can’t go to my parents because they don’t have the extra space. So I am kinda stuck on finding a place on my own which kinda sucks. Trust me I know my son doesn’t need to see this or be exposed to this I want out but I am stuck with the limited help my county offers because it is small.
Go to the next county, or the nearest city. I think you are making excuses. Where there is a will there is a way. It is also possible, however, that deep down you don't want to leave. This is OK as long as you can manage to feel good about yourself and take good care of your son. In this case, however you do need therapy on a continuing basis.
Oh she is in love with my husband she is not willing to see my side of anything no matter what she came into this relationship he forced a poly relationship on me because in passing I mentioned about an experience I had with another women. So he thought that I would just accept another women into our marriage without even talking to me and she came into the marriage knowing he was married and still proceeded to get with him and get pregnant from him not once but possibly 3 times. She is not going anywhere. She leaves and he goes he chooses her over me yet he has been married to me for almost 6 years.. But he swears she’s his person.. However she messed up for like two months into the relationship and he caught her talking/sexting other men and he now treats her like crap and she takes the abuse but after he treats her like crap he says come upstairs and sexually please me and she does. As long as she is getting all his attention either negatively or positively she is happy. She calls all the shots like she is his wife and he lets her.. I feel like I am the third wheel and when I express this I am the crazy one.
You need to get away from this narcissistic, gaslighting pig. At. All. Costs. Find a small apartment, go on assistance, whatever it takes. I don't know how all this started, but as it stands the situation is untenable. What kind of a-hole thinks two women sleeping with him isn't good enough? I'm still trying to wrap my head around your first sentence. How is it not you who has stopped having sex with him? People treat us the way we let them. I know circumstance can complicate matters, but you need to put a stop to this any way you can. Or at least stop enabling his narcissism. I don't mean to come off heavy handed, I'm just skocked at how much you're being taken advantage of here. Best wishes and I hope you starighten this (and him!) out.
I totally understand why you came off heavy handed to me…. I was trying to save my marriage because stupid me I still love my husband even though he has put me through all this crap.. but I have finally decided that I am going to leave especially if she is pregnant again because that means they have been having sex this past month (even bough they both claim they haven’t). I am just over everything and I am stuck with limited choices. Which make it even harder..
What do you love about him? His caring attitude towards you and your son? His not cheating on you with other women? His not controlling attitude telling you what you can and can't do?
What exactly? Get your power back girl...
I get it, love (or what we think is love) makes us do stuff that makes no sense. We can develop these martyr complexes where we think putting up with mistreatment and disrespect makes us a better or stronger partner. That would be bad enough if it were just you. But it's not. Your son deserves better, you deserve better. I'm going to repeat that because it's that important: you deserve better. Say it to yourself. Write it on your bedroom ceiling so it's the first thing you see every day. Tattoo it in your forearm. Whatever it takes to start believing those three words. Sending courage and strength!
I think you need a lawyer ..separate, divorce him and get child support and alimony and court, lawyer fees.This is just unreal.
Take care of you, you deserve so much better.
I didn't leave my abusive narcissistic husband until the pain was unbearable. Obviously the pain needs to get worse bedore you leave. This isn't love it's a sick dependency. Believe me you are causing your son more harm by staying. I finally stayed on a friend's couch until I could afford my own apartment. You could at least watch some youtube videos on narcissistic abusive marriages and gain some insight into what keeps you there.. There is freedom ahead but you need to dig deep and take a courageous step out. You are not a victim! I wish you the best,💗
Wait, so you are legally married to this man and he has a live in girlfriend with 3 children? I'm confused. You allowed this?...I hate to sound harsh but you are knowingly sharing your husband, when you begin to think more of yourself, you will get it together, prepare, and leave. Until that time you will stay put. You should think more of yourself. Good luck and I hope you are using protection when you get that wanted sex.
Hi Dolphfan47, as exciting as this scenario may have seemed at the beginning
you are seeing with your own two eyes that this is nothing more than your husband
cheating right in front of you. This lifestyle may not be for everyone and I believe
you are one of those people. Even the reality show "Sister Wives" started crumbling
(and they were getting paid to portray their lifestyle)
Love your son and yourself enough in finding a release from this nightmare you are in.
One day your man will look around and no one will be there. It's called Karma.
Thank you for sharing a delicate situation. We stand behind you and your son in keeping
both of you safe and sane. 
xx
I totally agree with the tough-love advocates here, all you are doing is continuing to enable this wretched man who is not about to change, why should he? Things are never going to improve for you and may even get worse until you get yourself and your son out of there, move to another bigger town if necessary and do some emotional work to heal your codependency.
Transitions are very hard, especially when a pattern has been established. There is a book titled " Life is in the Transitions" by Bruce Feiler which might be helpful. More importantly, get a good therapist, if you can afford it.
The problem is of course your husband (using the term lightly) but also you. The "wrench" is only a wrench because you allow it to be. There is no question this can be an overwhelming change. However, it is also a gateway to a new and better life, if you are able to find out what your underlying motivations are with a therapist. This help you avoid getting back into another bad relationship situation. The book is more about examples of what people have gone through to make a change and identifying the key elements for making these huge shifts in our lives.
I am a stage 4 cancer patient and having to give up a professional career which has defined my life for almost 40 years. Similar to you, I have been also forced to make a major shift or face making myself more sick faster. Your situation is creating an emotional sickness and draining you of energy, self esteem and happiness.
Your future is in your hands. Please get the help and commit to making the change and you will be able to do it.
Good luck!
Dmt, Prayers up to you for healing. May your health be restored. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Run! This is a horrible situation and you deserve better.
I think you’ve received some fantastic advice. Lifting you and your son in prayer.
Sorry for all that's going on. Do you have a support from anyone
You are very strong woman and brave to be vulnerable enough to come here and share your story your amazing i only speak from experiences I’ve had personally when I speak I really praying for you and your son and continued strength 🙏🏽✨💫
prayers 🙏
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