Down and Continuing to Struggle

[Riley2001]

I have not posted anything in a while. It is so difficult to do anything I have been putting it off. I am deeply depressed. My treatment is ongoing and medications yield very limited results. I am still living with my elderly mother and it remains miserable. I am expected to take care of her while I am so unwell that some days I am so down it takes everything I have to just brush my teeth and nobody cares. I have nobody to talk to. I thought I was going to be able to leave, but she crashed her car and says she does not want to drive anymore, so I am stuck here. I do not feel love, I just feel resentment and don't know what is wrong with me. The truth is I just want to get away from her. This confuses me and makes me feel like a horrible person. Every time she asks me to do something for her I just cringe. Although she is elderly, she is also a bit spoiled. It has been years since I last felt good. I feel that my spirit has died but my body is still hanging around. God help me.

[Empowered8048]

wow, that was a powerful post. It made me cry but a lot of things do right now haha. I can totally relate. Having a difficult time being motivated to do things for yourself and being called to help someone else all the time… that’s brutal. Idk how you’re even doing that. Have you looked to see if there are any caregiver services to come give you relief. Tell her that you are struggling and just be brutally honest that you have to have some time to yourself right now. Maybe there are some government assisted caregiver services if she can’t afford it.

[Riley2001 in reply to Empowered8048]

Thank you. I am living on a different planet from her and the rest of my family. They do not understand and I honestly don't know if they even care. My depression is so severe I am now receiving disability benefits. They are down on me because I am not working. This battle is one I am fighting alone.

[Empowered8048]

don’t forget how important you’re mental health is. If you don’t take care of yourself, you are going to get deeper into depression and then not be any help to anyone

[SuzyQHere]

I’m sending you a chat, hope that is okay. If not, just disregard!

[Machoupa in reply to SuzyQHere]

Su

[Machoupa in reply to Machoupa]

That escaped. Suzy, when u say "sending you a chat" does that mean for your eyes only kindof msg?Sheelagh

[Machoupa in reply to SuzyQHere]

Now i seem to have sent a msg to myself, can you see it Suzy?Not a fan of tech...

[Arabianhorselover]

I would say that what you are feeling is totally normal. You have got to get some time to yourself. I agree that you need to be really honest with your Mother.

[catsrock]

I am so sorry. That sounds really hard. Please take good care of yourself.

[TangledUpIn]

I really felt it when you said your mother crashed her car and now you're stuck there😬

[UglyDuckling546]

I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares, try and make.time for yourself, remove yourself from the situation for a while and find something you like to do to have a breakI also think it's important to ket your mother know how you feel although I know.its easier said than done, feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to