I'm all alone and nobody likes me - Anxiety and Depre...

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I'm all alone and nobody likes me

Samdok profile image
31 Replies

Before me and my ex broke up I had friends and people I could talk to and hang out with. Everything was so good. But once we broke up I lost everything. Everybody stopped talking to me. One out of the two of my best friends moved away and now the other spends all her time with her boyfriend. She knows I'm hurting and she knows I hate myself and my life and anything and she doesn't care she doesn't bother. Nobody cares and it hurts so damn much. Nobody ever invites me to everything. I have these really close people to my family that are basically my sisters and I lost them to. Now they hang out with this couple and do everything with them. They going on vacation with them. They never invite me. I feel like everybody hates being around me and idk what to do im so lost and alone. I have nothing to live for. I have no talents or hobbies. I'm not good at anything and I have social anxiety. I can't do anything.

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Samdok profile image
Samdok
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31 Replies
Bubbles0 profile image
Bubbles0

Why do you say since you broke up with your ex, you lost everything? What caused the change? How is it you had friends before your ex breakup and then suddenly lost them after? Did you become emotionally withdrawn and sad after the breakup and therefore more difficult to be around with? It would be good for you to trace the cause of these changes.

Right now you just seem very down on yourself. There must be something you are good at, which you are not seeing right now because of low self esteem. Don't place too much trust in your own judgment right now. Just focus on recovering and regaining balance in yourself.

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to Bubbles0

When I got with my ex a series of events happened. We created a group of friends together and all my friends were linked with him. When we broke up they all chose him. Thank you so much for the support I really appreciate it. The nothing I'm good at relates to things I can use for the future. I have a couple things that I'm moderately ok a but have no meaning

Bubbles0 profile image
Bubbles0 in reply to Samdok

Like the other reply, you need to look forward and build new friendships. Join meetup groups or something like that to meet good caring people. Also I encourage you to join a spiritual community and find good hearted people who care about you no matter your circumstances! This is really important. People who like you based on your conditions are not true friends.

As far as finding something you are good at, give yourself time and patience. Nothing happens overnight; you need to nurture that things you feel you are ok at. Don't beat down on yourself by saying you are not good enough or they are just ok. If you are ok at it, it means you have good seeds and they can be nurtured into talents. We have to honor the gifts we have without being prideful, but to denigrate them is equally misguided.

Take care of yourself while you are going through this rough patch; ally yourself with kind hearted people who can motivate you and encourage you. Unfortunately a lot of times in life, bad things happen; but if we learn and survive from them, we plant seeds for good things to happen!

Lots of love and let me know what you think!

Kathy

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to Bubbles0

Where I live is very small therefor it's hard to make friends considering 95% of the people in my school I've know for years and there's already friendships. I have been opening up a bit more than usual however. But unfortunately have not made any new friends. I have some people I talk to at school but we're not close. next year I'm going to a boces program for graphic arts and I'm gonna see if I can branch out there. Thankyou so much for all the love and support I didn't think anyone would even reply. It warms my heart that you and others care to support me. I really do hope my life and mental state improves.

Oh my, it's going to get better if you can look away from the past and look toward the present and future. It takes a lot of effort, and I know how couples seem to drop someone after a divorce...guess they just don't know how to include a single person in their couples social life.

Look, you're down tonight and feeling lonely. the weekend nights can be particularly hard.

I was single for a very long time after a divorce, so know where you're coming from.

Just be kind to yourself, take the evening a little at a time tonight...try to find some music you like or maybe a movie on the TV....a book you like or take a bubble bath. (Even dish washing soap makes great bubbles) And say SCR++ YOU to everyone you think has left you. (Yeah, no one will ever know you said that ugly word as loud as you could. lol)

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to

Thank you so much. You are right the weekends are the worst. It sucks to see my old friends all hanging out without me on snapchat. I have some trouble looking towards the future because in terrified for the future. I'm 16 and I'm so scared to get a job and I have no clue what I'm gonna do with my life. Your comment has brought my spirits up somewhat and I thank you so much. There were times where I'd repeat b****s ain't s**t (pretty rude words) when that group would hurt me or I found out about stuff they were saying about me. It would help me feel a little better but at that point I have a person to say it with me even though they were still hanging out wth that group talking with them

in reply to Samdok

Oh my. You're a teenager. Teen years are so difficult. There will be other loves in your life, believe me. (You actually have your training wheels still on. lol)

You hurt like an adult, you feel like an adult, you laugh like an adult, etc.,,,but you don't yet have the experience of an adult to help you with this situation of "losing a love".

The end of a relationship is a little like a death....sadness, anger, loneliness, bargaining with "God", etc. Then there comes acceptance and you look to the future.

You haven't gone through all that yet. Have not let go entirely and accepted the situation.

What are your plans for training for an occupation....education....etc.?

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to

I have no clue what my plans are. I'm not sure what to go to college for and I haven't had a job yet for something like a job scares me. I'm scared I'll mess up and anger people. But I'm hoping to get one this summer. What you explained is exactly true. When me and my boyfriend first broke up this was worse. I couldn't even eat because he talked so bad about me to everyone so I was sorta hated. I began even praying. I'm glad I'm somewhat better. It's been a few months. Thankyou again for the support

Bubbles0 profile image
Bubbles0 in reply to Samdok

You should focus on going to college and get higher education. This will help you in your future, in terms of job, people you meet etc. try to get your focus together and look forward while you give yourself time to heal. It's not easy but healing is definitely coming !

Bubbles0 profile image
Bubbles0 in reply to

I really agree with your analysis of breakup!

in reply to Bubbles0

Thank you. Unfortunately as one grows up, one has experienced what she talks about. Sigh. :)

memmay_2017 profile image
memmay_2017

Well, you've done something positive! You came here to talk. Good Job! Read others posts and see if you can find 'tools' to help you cope. Sometimes people don't reach out because they don't know what to say to encourage you or help. Try thinking of them and their problems. Try to help someone else. Maybe get a therapist to talk with?

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to memmay_2017

Yes I've been replying to others and looking at people with similar problems, it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I have a bad past with therapists, I really don't like them, I hate how overly happy. I hate the idea of talking to a stranger about my problems so they can get paid

Hi I have been were you are THEN-this is what I did-joined the local church-there is all sorts going on and I could not fit everything in my diary.

i have lots of friends now and people that genuinely care about and support me.

They are NOT jugemental !

I have my faith in GOD; I pray for situations and for others. I am a prayer Pastor for the local Street Pastors

I am here for YOU-with GODS HELP

The Lord Bless You and keep You,

And Lift Up His face to Shine Upon You And

Be Graciouse unto You

The Lord Lift Up His Countanence Upon You And

GIVE YOU PEACE

AMEN :)

Love and Every Blessing xxxxx

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to

Thank you so much for your very kind words but I'm not necessarily religious. I want to be but I have trouble believing.

in reply to Samdok

Hi guess what-I am not religiouse either-I have my faith in God

but, really tho-what religion is God ?

Peace :)

X01WOOG profile image
X01WOOG in reply to

The Bible (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) B-I-B-L-E. This is the book which explains who God is. God created Heaven and Earth. God is the Father, Jesus is the son of the Father, the Holy Spirit is our comforter who Jesus left us when he ascended to Heaven after he was crucified on the cross. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are called the Trinity--they are all the same. We believe In Jesus Christ and accept Jesus into our hearts. When we repent and accept Jesus, we are saved. We then have the comforter in our hearts. Jesus is just a prayer away. We pray to our Father who art in Heaven. We can pray any time of day or night, our Father is listening. Jesus is our savior. It's a wonderful feeling. We know Jesus took our sins and died for us. Get into a church where the people are friendly and serving the Lord, you will be accepted and loved. God is love. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God 1 John 4:7. If you can't afford a Bible, any church will give you one. I love you. God loves you. He loved you before you were born. You were wanted! Jesus needs you to learn about him and be a disciple for him! God bless you.

in reply to X01WOOG

Hi

Thanks for that-I am so happy for you that you are nolegeable - I am not with Health unlocked anymore-I was avised not to talk about my faith by them; there was a troll who did not like to hear about God - they were reading our disgussions and reported us. Non of their buisness, tho it was.

Hope you continue to gro in God and I am shure He will complete the good work he started in you :)

Every blessing

S x

in reply to Samdok

Hi again if you joined the youth group at a local church you would find plenty of new freinds AND you dont have to have ANY faith to join just know that you will be in NON JUDEMENTAL company.

You would be with people who care about you.

They have trips away and MASSIVE youth get togethers; like festivals such has SOUL SURVIVER-thousands attend these festivals.

There is always food provided and nothing to worry about.

look forward to freedom and wonderfull times and experiances :)

in reply to Samdok

Hi think I have a message for you -your prayer has been answered !

sometimes when we pray it doesnt happen immediatly-all you have to do now is BELEIVE-Ask,seek Knock and the doors will be oponed for you; seek and you will find-your loving father and best freind are waiting for YOU !

God is a gentleman; he DOES NOT force HIS way into peoples lives.

its ALL upto you-He stands at the door of your life and He WAITS !

if you hear him calling and open the door to your life He will come in.

He calls us his freinds; He says my children hear My voice and come to me.

Dont worry about other people; this is your life !

There will always be people who persecute you; just be yourself :)

Jesus said " if you get into trouble because of me REJOICE ! for the world hated me before it hated you"

Come out of this ungodly world and follow HIM who cares for you :)

All The Best :)

varuna27 profile image
varuna27

Samdok - I hear the depression and hopelessness talking, I don't think this is your real inner voice or the real you talking in this situation! I don't want to downplay your situation or make it seem like something it isn't. I understand your frustrations and having someone in your life right now would help and you want those friends to be there for you. I get it. But for now, can these virtual friends serve as a substitute to help you get back up on your feet? Maybe once you're in a better place you can reconnect with those friends and take it from there!

Samdok profile image
Samdok in reply to varuna27

Even when I had friends and was feeling okay i felt I was good at nothing. I do occasionally have chats with people at school but I never talk to those people outside of school so I don't consider them friends. These comments here however have made me feel a lot better and I thank you

Samdok profile image
Samdok

Thank you everyone for all the love and support ♥️

in reply to Samdok

these people …………...are...……………..the best partner------you will devastate …………...devastate these loving and caring people unless...………….u take your life...…….however hard...………..ignore****** your feelings (the negative ones) and you force**** yourself to go out and help other people or make your life useful say for elderly or food banks or service to others...……...if not for you...………...then put a picture of these people ………..on your wall...………….and you are doing it for them...……….or build your inspiration wall or dedicate yourself to some cause...………...you will and can...…………..you will and can...……...gut through the hard stuff and you will honor these people...……….through service and...……..by investing in yourself...……...education and job skills life skills...……..etc...…...you ****** make your life useful and productive**** for society for the people than need***** you...………...through a church or group etc...…………….lots of elderly and nursing homes etc...……..that can use you...…………..its tough its not fun always (no insult intended) but partner...……….your doing for all these*** wonderful wonderful people aand I KNOW you don't want to let them down...……….u ………….have to be in your corner...……….you...……...have to be your own best friend or advocate...………..as we all do...…………..your not doing it for you...……...your doing it for others or whatever cause is important to YOU...……..you don't*** need validation from others...…….you don't need persmission……..fire up your engines and find a cause to push through the dark times...………..your doing for these wonderful people who believe in you...………….they believe in you they believe in you they believe in you they beliee in you they believe you they believe in you …………….they are your new family I have a new family I have a purpose I have a purpose andyou say it countless times til it rigesters…...

Bubbles0 profile image
Bubbles0

Hi Samsok, sounds like you need to be more gentle with yourself. Do not think you are good at nothing. Know that you have a previous human life and when we struggle, we are also having an opportunity to develop humility, love and compassion for ourselves and others! You can use these experiences and struggles you have to help others. And then you will feel happy and proud of yourself and you will know your self worth as a contributing person in this world! So cherish every opportunity to learn and grow. And love yourself

memmay_2017 profile image
memmay_2017

Hi again. Reading the replies from commentators and you. I see a pattern here. People are offering suggestions to help you, things that have helped them, and you keep shutting them off by saying, "I don't like or I don't want or I don't believe." You may not know it but you are turning people away.

Many of the positive suggestions come from people who suffered as you first described you are suffering; abandonment, rejection, loneliness, and trust issues. They had to work at finding another way, rather then repeat their old ways. There is a saying," Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is insanity."

Many of us were caught in that trap. The only way to get out of it is to reach out. Try a church and hear what is said among people your age. You will discover that you see a bit of yourself in each person. Try what they are doing to positively help yourself and others. In this you will discover a worthy, loveable person inside you waiting to come out.

Peace ❤️

Justswimming profile image
Justswimming

Your probably just feeling like you lost your footing cause of breakup you have to learn how to reconnect to people ..Somebody definitely has to like you...maybe they're not keen on hanging around you when you are feeling down and negative..I know I can't even stand myself when I'm negative ..hang in there it will get better..

You have to find your inner strenght which is what im trying to do for myself right now. You have it, its in there but i think sometimes its buried under all the bad things we feel about ourselves. You have friends here that can relate to everything your going through. And i know how tough it is, im scared and afraid all of the time.

KittenMittens22 profile image
KittenMittens22

Oh man I remember those years. It seems like all of life revolves around friends, boyfriends, and social activities. Also I remember feeling things so much more intensely at that age.

I had my worst break up when I was 20. Similar to you, I couldn’t eat, had no friends at all, and felt so alone. That time was probably the hardest of my life but it also helped me truly discover myself with all the extra time to myself. I read different books, explored new music, discovered my faith, connected with nature, it was so healing. If it wasn’t for that I don’t know if I would have truly figured out who I am.

It’s so easy to build interests and goals based on people around us, so even though I know it’s hard, try to use this time to try new things, to figure out what your passions are and what excites you. Maybe try becoming friends with someone you never thought you would. Know that it doesn’t last forever (even though it feels like that right now). You have your whole life ahead of you and you’re in an exciting time where you can pick any direction you want to go.

Tishfish profile image
Tishfish in reply to KittenMittens22

Great reply.

KittenMittens22 profile image
KittenMittens22 in reply to KittenMittens22

Wow I just realized the original post was 3 years ago!! How did I miss that? I wonder how Samdok is doing now that she is 19!

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