Now im neither - neither. neither sane enough to get hired, nor insane enough for governmental help. she called me bad things but when mom came, she switched to "my child" while leaving me to starve doing this *bitch move if changing my diagnosis I checked in with my friend who has been in mental hospitals and on ChatGPT. My diagnosis is changed on purpose so i don't get disability status and mom has to pay for me and im a burden and have no rights and depend on her. Meanwhile dad bragged he has 6x his salary but only helps a little. She messed my brain so much. I can't stop crying since then. I got an ulcer and an autoimmune illness.Meanwhile, as an East European, i don't want Russia to take over again. It ruined my life before i was born. I will be drafted if things go south (litterary).
The psychiatrist signed my de@th sentence just because she went nuts because she's above retirement age and now i will starve. These two also signed my de@th sentence. I was cursed by the Iron curtain. And my de@th won't come easy nor fast
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No_Longer_Human
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The system is messed here - my psychiatrist said she can't write my documents for the disability status and had to send me either to the daycare hospital or locked hospital. Believe me you don't want to be in a mental hospital in Bulgaria. So i went to the daycare hospital for my documents and this diagnosis is written on the documents. I don't even ask for help, i just ask for documents. Because apparently doctors in Bulgaria are clerks. She got me worse. She wrote the most nullified illness. Now i can't get a job but can't get government help. She said i "sh1ted on her head" but she did
There's no manager and probably no emails or customer service. There was some lady put as the boss doctor but she doesn't know how to do her job and listens to this psychiatrist. The boss even wanted to hospitalise me in the mental ward while her boyfriend told me everything is fine
She said it straightforward and wrote it. And my diagnosises were depression and anxiety (for which it's common to get disability), she changed it. I hadn't even noticed since the counsellor told me to. Then i asked another psychology graduate - my friend who has been in metal hospital like 5 times. She said that diagnosis is basically "faking it" and "not even a real illness". The psychiatrist also said and wrote really insulting things like "you shitted on my head, you brat. Spoiled little mommy's girl. I worked on the farm since i hit puberty". Meanwhile my mom abandoned me as a kid and i was helping in the farm far before puberty. Grandma says i was 3 years old when i was helping the goats give birth. The nurses also made fun of me and laughed. It's public humiliation of a patient/client. And im not the only one who has noticed it. This is Bulgaria - these are the first generation to live to their 70s and they're just mad at the world and they think we owe them. My dad said it. I don't "think" she hates me. I know she hates me. Picking a diagnosis that's garanteed to get the lowest percentage therefore no funds meanwhile still having a diagnosis so i can't work. Basically have to starve or be less of a human because i don't have income. And oh god, only if you could read my documents she wrote. Even my tests are faked so i seem normal so i don't get the percentage. Even when i scored critical points on depression and anxiety.
I'm sorry it continues to be hard. It almost sounds like it'd be easier to look for a job. I remember you saying that subconsciously you don't want a job, and that this is why you are trying for disability. Am I remembering this correctly? I remember saying that I understand not wanting to work (and then I told you my story). You get used to being at home. I get this very much.
A job isn't just to make a living with; it is there to give you a sense of meaning and purpose in life.
Hi dear, happy to hear from you again, If only i knew what hell they would put me through... I was a puppet of mom. I sent CVs, didn't get a call and mom started pushing me to get to the doctors, to check my heart, to go to the daycare for a week and then she would have it easier... It's been like a month. I can't neither get a job even if i want it nor disability status. I hate that i had to try to get it. It got me a new trauma
Thanks, dear.Yeah, I swear things would be so much easier if they came with warnings😂. We'd be able to dodge the hard things. Hellish situations could use a "head's up: you do NOT want to go this route" sign. Please don't beat yourself up. My comment was more a worry about what this "fight for disability" might do to you than anything else.
I guess your decision right now is it decide what to do. Will you carry on this "fight" for disability, or will you get a job? (Rhetorical question). I always like to make a list of the pros and cons of going each route when making big decisions.
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