Am I reading too far into this?

My wife and I aren’t in a good place. Currently in couples therapy which is not going well (very one sided in my opinion). She recently had a birthday. Can’t even remember why exactly I ended up looking at her Facebook but I notice a happy birthday message from a guy I am not familiar with. Never once heard him mentioned. I stew on it for a day and finally ask. I get a very vague answer on who this person is. “A friend of friend I know from the town I work in” is the response I get. Well I know most if not all of your friends. Have met most of them. Why would you not mention the friend this person is a friend of? That’s my initial thought and feeling. Also I’m confused if the friend lives in the town where you work or this person, so I ask. And I get a response saying he lives in the town where she works but now there are a couple of mutual friends they have and calls him an acquaintance that friended her on Facebook. I feel like with my questions I was clearly digging for some info and reassurance and I only received vague responses. Am I looking at this too hard? Am I wrong for being inquisitive? I feel like a very small amount of added info would have made me feel a lot better in this situation. Oh mutual friends? Great! Who? One of them is your bestie that you just hung out with last Thursday but you don’t drop that name to reassure me? Feels off to me. It wouldn’t be a thing if she hadn’t been so distant from me lately. But with the state we are in I can’t help but wonder.

[BlueAgave]

I feel there needs to be a certain amount of trust in relationships, or they won't work. To me, it sounds like someone wishing another person a happy birthday. Unless there is a good reason to believe something is going on, let it go. Don't drive yourself bonkers over someone wishing a happy birthday. Just my opinion. Hope things begin to work out.

[optimismrus]

I'm not on Facebook, and I'm uncertain about the rules of privacy you and your wife have agreed on. It sounds like you're walking on eggshells and maybe you're afraid to ask too much. Bring these questions up during couples therapy. You're entitled to feel safe and speak honestly in your therapy sessions, otherwise what's the point? 🥰

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

This person has left heathunlocked and that's why they are hidden account now!

[Cookie2217]

Hi there. No I don't like your overreacting at all. You're just wondering who it is is all right? Do you feel that she is trying to make you jealous or something? Do you feel her pulling away from you because you did say that you are in couples therapy and the marriage isn't in a good place right now. Trust in a relationship is everything and I would definitely bring this to the table at a couple session just for clarity so you could say it and forget it and hopefully it's just nothing more than that. My husband and I actually share a Facebook account because I can't tell you how many people have gotten divorced over nonsense that goes on Facebook. The reason for sharing an account is because we have nothing to hide from each other so I have to accounts. We also don't believe in going on separate vacations with the girls or the guys only and doing stuff like that because it just brings problems into the relationship you do that when you're single not as a married couple. When you marry someone for love it's for better for worse for richer for poor and sickness and health and when I took those vows I took them extremely seriously and my husband did too and you just act differently then when you're single. I feel for you definitely though because if she's saying it's a friend of a friend and won't say who the friend is that would have my ears up too. Maybe she's trying to make you jealous as I said before but that's Petty to do something like that. I wish you the best of luck and please let us know how everything works out. Definitely bring this up at your next couple's session and see what the therapist thinks.

[Lifesearching]

I struggle with major trust issues from my past and have been with my bf just over two years (my longest relationship). I say if it bothers you, bring it up but not in a confronting or accusing way. It’s hard not to assume the worst especially if you have been burned in the past. I’m wondering if you feel worried since you are in a rocky place right now? I was there for about all of last year with my bf while he was trying to build my trust in him. I literally accused him of like everything! Even phone calls from female coworkers literally asking about work. I still struggle with trusting others in general, but she might be willing to fix the fears you have if you’re open and honest on a vulnerable way. Don’t be afraid to ask the question but try to be calm if you can

I would say some red flags (from my experience) would be if your partner spends less and less time together, but without explaining where they have been. If the partner becomes unreachable all of a sudden. But a happy birthday sounds innocent! Keep the line of communication open with her, ask if you can tag along if there is a hangout where you haven’t met the new people yet! But if you really in your gut feel something is wrong, trust yourself above anyone else. I say if a partner wants you to trust them, they are gonna be willing to do what it takes to make sure you genuinely trust them.