Feeling a bit isolated

[sam4231]

This last year had a close friend pass away. Then I had about 4 more move away. I didn't have that big of a social circle to begin with either.

It isn't the worst, I like the job that I have right now. and I still have a few friends in the city but it does feel a bit like I'm starting over. Most week days I just go to work and comeback home and sleep. Most weekends I do nothing.

I know that I have to put my self back out there, meet new friends find new hobbies ect, but I'm finding it very hard to do so.

A lot of times I spend all day coming up with excuses on why not to go do things. When I get myself to go out I'm not really engaging with new people.

I've been thinking a lot about my friends from my hometown. A lot of people seem to be able to branch out as well as maintain the relationships they had with people they've know since they were young. I feel like I'm bad at doing both of those things.

I usually pretty comfortable with being alone. But feeling very isolated at the moment and looking for some motivation and advice.

[blackcat64013]

I know it can feel easier to shut out everything and everyone. Isolating yourself might seem like a way to escape the pressures in your life.

Feeling connected to others is important for our mental and physical wellbeing and can protect us against anxiety and depression. If we feel alone or socially isolated for a long time, we might experience physical or mental problems or do things that are bad for you.

What can help?

You can do many things to help overcome loneliness and isolation and improve your life.

My key go to reminders are

1, Connecting with family and friends

When you’re feeling lonely, it can be challenging to connect with others but that’s just what you need to do. Reach out to a family member, workmate or neighbour. It can help you feel better and it’s likely they will appreciate a call, text or email.

2. Connecting with communities online or in person

You might like to join a club, organisation or online community. There are many opportunities, such as volunteering at a local charity, joining a walking or sporting club, or joining an online community for your special interest. This will help you to create and maintain meaningful friendships.

3, Getting out of the house and being active

Go shopping, join a club or enrol to study. Exercise is very important for improving mental health. Research has shown that regular physical activity can prevent depression, even 30-60 minute walk 3 times a week helps.

4. Volunteering

Volunteering helps you make meaningful connections with people while having a sense of purpose. I am a volunteer with my local thrift shop.

5. Spend times with animals

Pets can also improve your physical and mental health. Pets provide companionship and love. If you have a dog, they need exercise and physical activity is important when you’re feeling low. Talking about pets is a great conversation starter when you meet people.

The best advice that I can give, is that when you least feel like doing something, do it anyway.

[Bigoldogsmiles]

Hi Sam4231,I don't really have any advise because I am in a similar situation with the exception that I am retired.

I will say that it sounds like you are missing your old friends. It is normal and natural for you to feel that loss and to grieve. It also takes time for us to adjust to changes that take place in our lives. The time it takes us to grieve, adjust and move on is a very personal thing. There is no time limit on it. Be kind and patient with yourself in the meantime.

I also agree with Blackcat64013 too. Connecting to others is also important for our overall well being.

All the best to you on your healing journey!

[TailWags]

I have some friends, but could use more. Else i need to find a different way to deal with difficulties than to whine to people. Or just figure out how to.be happier....

[Tuckute]

Hello, Sam. The email I received indicates that you are interested in ECT. I tried it last year and had no bad results, nor any good ones. I went for about a month, for about 12 sessions. As I understand it, the goal is to induce a seizure in order to alter the brain chemistry, but many times, I was "seizure-resistant," whatever that means. Maybe I was expecting too much, but I felt nothing except aggravation over the hour-long drive for each treatment and paying a driver. If anything positive came from the experience, I can say that I tried and can knock it off my list, and that I learned there is no quick fix, at least for my own situation.

I fully understand your difficulty with isolation. All I can tell you is to be patient with yourself. If you work up the energy to try something new, don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out at first. There will always be other options. Be grateful that you can handle being alone, but no one can live on a full diet of solitude. Be grateful also that you are employed. I retired in 2016 after 40 years doing a job I loved, then I lost a good friend of 45 yrs in November of 2019. I did okay for a year, then depression set in. It's been a daily struggle ever since, but I keep on trying. The trick is not to give up and to be grateful for the good things and good people that remain.