Feeling a bit lost

[Kevin160]

This year has threw me left and right, im not sure if this is normal, but im starting to wonder if i made the wrong decisions thus far, i dont have the desire or motivation to do any university work, and im thinking to myself if i decided on my major (BA) because it was something i took in A levels before university or because im actually passionate about it, and its too late to pursue something else

I used to play the piano, and i always wanted to pursue music but i guess i never thought it was feasible so i dropped it, now my head is exploding with all these alternatives i couldve been doing, i feel im not going anywhere in my life, there are 15year olds who are olympic champions for gods sake and im here feeling like im not really accomplishing anything.

I know not going to study abroad was the right call, i wasnt mentally prepared to be independent and leave my family even though they can be horrible at times, but its still hard to accept it, im just thinking about all i probably missed, all the opportunities i could have taken, but i dont know, i feel trapped where i am, i want something new, see new things and feel like im not in this constant routine of barely waking up just to open an online lecture and not really benefiting.

not sure if its this pandemic or what true colors it showed me about my life but i suddenly feel like “what did i do”

Im not panicking or anything, but i would best describe it as sadness or depression, as im barely eating, not sleeping well because im overthinking about this “plan” i feel i should make, but im not sure what to do, where to go from here

Im filled with sadness and rage because i wasnt brave enough to do something i needed to do, and that circumstances growing up prevented me from achieving something i seriously think i couldve achieved

Also feeling jealous of all my friends or even people i dont know like celebrities as silly as it may sound because they get to actually go through with their plans while im hear needing someone to snap me out of this state and help me start doing something about it, i dont care about their money, their looks , nothing, just the mentality of “i can do this”, and the work ethic and the determination, i want to do so much with this one life i got and everything feels like its not within my grasp anymore..

[newbie1956]

Hi Kevin,

Don't feel rushed to decide. Focus on something you know you'll enjoy. Set it as a goal and even if you "slip", start over with that same goal. Pray about it and you'll achieve your heart's desire.

Love 😍👍

[Kevin160 in reply to newbie1956]

Im trying to not rush anything, but im just worried that im missing out on so much that could have helped me achieve my goals, my anxiety disorder stopped me from going through with achieving my goals, and i wasnt ready, but now i feel im more ready but its too late because im in too deep

[Agora1]

Kevin, it's never too late in life to pursue something or many things you would like to do.

As long as you have a breath in you, the world is at your feet. Many men and women start

pursuing their dreams late in life and achieve their goal. It's a self satisfaction that has no

monetary value except to you.

Do some Affirmative Meditations. Listen to the presentation by Denzel Washington

during a University Graduation ceremony. He didn't know what he wanted until later

in life. He tried many different jobs and none fulfilled him. Listen to his story on YouTube

and anything else like that. Once you have the motivation then it's time to decide on what

you'd like to focus on. As "newbie" said, set a goal, have something to get up in the morning

for. Good Luck my friend. We only get this one life, make it count xx

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Yes im trying to see itmfrom that perspective, that i still have time, but the thing is we dont really know, i dont want to keep saying “what if” but i feel i missed my chance and now im in too deep, but ill keep an open mind and see if i can make anything work

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

Oh Kevin, it's true that none of us know how much time we have left. However, we have choices. We can either pursue our goals or we can hopelessly sit and feel we forever missed our chance. Your decision xx

[SirGrits]

Yeah Kevin, seems to me that you've got some negative thinking patterns to learn to let go of. I think you see how unreasonable the comparisons you're making are. Try to remind yourself of that when your thoughts start to spiral. The truth is that most of us don't have it all worked out at your stage of the game and that's completely normal and appropriate frankly.Try and let all that expectation crap go and do the best you can with the here and now.

Prayers bro.