Driving Worries

[jwhitleyjr]

Recently, I have started driving on a full time basis in my life. I started late in life due to living in New York City, a place where you do not need a car to now living in California where driving is essential.Since I have been driving I have been doing a good job. I can always improve. But I feel like the thought of getting into an accident has consumed my life. When I come home from work all I do is worry about my driving.

I really do not want to keep living my life this way. I am truly working hard to focus on other activities when I get home instead of driving and the worries of getting into an accident. Does anyone have any advice or comments regarding my driving worries?

[Aimingfor106]

Learning a skill like driving later in life is really tough because when you're 15 and 16, your brain is still developing. So while it's developing, driving becomes PART of your development and it becomes like second nature. It may never feel like second nature to you since you started at middle age, but you'll get more comfortable over time. Be patient with yourself.

Remember...every single person on the road has the potential to get into an accident and die at ANY time they are on the road. Every single one. So, you are not alone in the risk. The difference is that others aren't worrying as much, because there's a level of "acceptance" that happens. We grew up knowing the risk of death or injury with driving, just as there is a risk with chewing and swallowing. Either can kill you. We can die at the hands of almost anything. So letting it go is essential...try to just let it go, accept that "when your card is punched, your card is punched", and until your time is up, live life to its fullest. Because if it's not a car accident, it could be a trip on a curb and a head injury that does you in. So go have fun...because driving can be FUN!

[gettingsomewhere in reply to Aimingfor106]

Hi that's a very good way of looking at it.

[jwhitleyjr in reply to gettingsomewhere]

Yes this is a very good way of looking at it.

[gettingsomewhere in reply to Aimingfor106]

I learnt to drive in my early thirties mainly because I had to! I moved from London where I never needed a car to the countryside with infrequent buses, so my experience is similar.

Driving has never come naturally to me and I'm not very confident. Had to drive for work so I researched my journey in advance. I think it's unrealistic not to be anxious. It can be risky, but then as the above reply states so eloquently everything is risky to some degree or other. We just live with everyday risks.

I hope having some anxiety keeps me alert and a better driver overall, taking nothing for granted.

I often have anxious symptoms driving somewhere new which I really dislike but that's OK. It keeps me on my toes and I'm pleased and grateful when I reach my destination.

"Doing a good job" sounds good enough so Is it more about intrusive thoughts then actual driving?

[jwhitleyjr in reply to gettingsomewhere]

It is probably more about intrusive thoughts.

[gettingsomewhere in reply to jwhitleyjr]

There are various approaches to dealing with intrusive thoughts and/ or rumination. I've used neuro linguistic programming which I learnt on a course. It really helped me so I rarely think about having an accident, and if I do I can banish these thoughts. My concerns are about driving per se. I hope others can give you advice. Good luck!

[Aimingfor106]

Having anxiety definitely has its perks. I welcome mine at certain times in life. I welcome my OCD at my job because I triple check things. Some of our issues can help us at times.

Not sure what perspective you'd like me to change...? Was just trying to help...

[jwhitleyjr in reply to Aimingfor106]

No you are on point. Yes anxiety does keep me alert. You did a good job of helping me.

[PadThaiNoodles]

I love driving and I love working on old cars. But I got to the point where I wouldn't take my old cars out anymore because I was too anxious about having them break down. I found CBT quite helpful for this. I think I did maybe 6 or 8 sessions, so it was reasonably efficient too.

[jwhitleyjr in reply to PadThaiNoodles]

I can look more into CBT. You know you talk about classic cars. One day I would I would like to own a replica KITT Trans am from Knight Rider.

[RS1974]

I'm from northern California where driving is bad some areas or you have southern and it's hell.I've always been an anxious driver but what I had in my car were a guardian angel on my visor and stuffed animals in my car so I could hugs or hold them when anxious