AWD - Anxious While Driving and How to Cope

[xo_Achelois_xo]

*** Massive Mini-Essay. So sorry. Just needed to get it all out ***

Something very strange happened to me and my S/O today. I would like to preface with the fact that I've got terrible driving anxiety, which does not help my GAD in the slightest. Simply getting into my vehicle and turning the key in the ignition is a massive accomplishment that I believe many people take for granted being able to do with second-nature ease.

I've come quite far in the last three years but I still have horrid anxiety every time I get into my vehicle. Driving any distance longer than an hour is painfully terrifying but at least an hour is up from my five minutes which was WAY up from my zero minutes where I would faint before ever being able to get into the car at all! I feel very proud of this, even if it is minute.

I also do not drive for fun and I do not leave the house without purpose. I did both today! Normally, every trip is a dread but I have found that music tends to help a whole lot when I can't have a driving buddy. I managed to drive myself to and from work every single day since moving to a new town just recently. Also a huge plus. I couldn't even work before because the commutes would send me into a panic. I have been lost a handful of times here as well but I've taken it quite well! I simply pull over, do a calming CBT exercise then scoot back to the road.

The only thing that I haven't been quite successful at doing is handling other drivers and their terrible driving habits. I had to deal with this today for the first time in YEARS and even an hour later, I'm still very much anxious. My chest burns, my heart rate is through the roof, I'll probably have a visit from a debilitating cluster headache later this evening (I never feel them coming. They'll simply punch me at the most inopportune times. Say, whilst I'm trying to have a snack and slicing apples.) and I'm beyond pissy, was I sometimes become after a silent attack. Why? Because a fellow driver didn't bother to use his turn signal and decided to drive into oncoming traffic, into our lane, without a sliver of warning. The only thing I see is a car turning into ours. Had my partner not thought quickly enough, honked the hornand swerved into the side road, we would have been crashed into.

But that didn't bother me so much as the fact that this same individual proceeded to angrily follow us down the road, honking his horn at us, trying to run us off of the road as he swore and yelled racist remarks at myself and my husband simply because my partner honked at him to alert him to our presence. Because, you know, you almost hit us, sir. And that's not very nice NOR safe.

His road rage became so bad that even though my partner tried to get away from him, he tailed us down the street and began to turn his car into ours, making like he was going to hit us when we wouldn't pay him any mind. I had to call the authorities and eventually, once he saw me pull out my phone he backed away.

I wasn't terrified for my life or anything but the entire ordeal angered me so much because I have been doing so well lately. I had a super good day but I feel as if this incident pushed me 1.000 steps back. I realise that I cannot control other people's actions but it's still hard to deal with other people's actions when they are dangerously negative like this because it is one of my fears/triggers about driving.

Does anyone else out there have driving anxiety? Have you had any scary incidents directly related to driving? And if so, how has it affected your recovery?

[Hidden]

I have major driving anxiety since a wreck filled with fire and I was trapped three years ago. Somehow I am better realizing you can't stop death if it's your time but I don't do highways and missed out on my dad's last years and haven't seen my mom in a long time because of the hour highway drive. I don't do highways anymore. Sorry, I can relate big time.

[xo_Achelois_xo in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you've had such trouble D: I sympathise greatly. Have you tried EMDR before? This is what helped me to break out into recovery. My therapist was very good at this method. It involves basically creating a happly place for yourself to go when you get overwhelmed. There is more to it, of course, but it helped me to at least get in the car lol And eventually, I was able to drive the freeway again!

[Hidden in reply to xo_Achelois_xo]

Wow. I will try that. Thanks

[Hidden]

I had major driving anxiety the past two years, panic attacks the whole 9 yards. I also get very upset when I’m being considerate and someone has a road rage problem. I have learned to stay calm and focused on safe driving. I keep a knife in my car for protection and I have a Dashcam in case someone does something I have proof of what happened. People are nuts out there but mostly they just want to intimidate and run away. If I’m super scared I will drive into a public parking lot anywhere with a lot of people or start driving to a hospital or police station. Don’t let this set you back, get in the car and drive again.

[xo_Achelois_xo in reply to Hidden]

This is good advice. I got really nervous today when I tried to drive and I missed an appointment with a friend. I don't know how to admit why, however. I told her that we could try again to meet later this week but I don't know if the anxiety will be gone by then. I am still extremely nervous and even my calming exercise isn't working as well as I would like. My goal is to get back to driving by Monday of next week, however. I think that this is a really good goal lol But who knows. Maybe it's too long of time? And I should try to push for sooner.

[Hidden]

Driving anxiety was the trigger of my first ever panic attack. Seventeen, driving in a rush to get to my hockey game, stuck in traffic, and not really having a full understanding where the rink was. I suddenly had a thought...."What if I stop breathing??" After that, I swear I became an agoraphobic driver. A drive around the corner, no problem. To parts unknown, I had to know if there was a hospital close by...so on. There's so many other parts to this that make it seem not even like it's related to driving...I hate getting stuck in traffic (sort of claustrophobic?) and worrying whether someone could get to me. I have to get out. I had to buy a bigger vehicle so I felt more comfortable in it. I started worrying a little less and focused on making it to points on my drive. Doing better, but yeah, the thoughts can persist...the good old anxious mind loves popping in the 'What If' questions while I drive. I can absolutely relate.

[xo_Achelois_xo in reply to Hidden]

Definitely! I have the opposite reaction to you in regards to vehicle size. Larger the vehicle, the more anxious and nervous I get lmao So I bought a smaller car (Honda Fit) and it kinda helps. I like being boxed in, however, because it makes me feel safer to have something 'hugging' me lol It sounds SO stupid but I think it really helped a lot. Do you plan your drives before you get in the car? I have found that I've started doing that and I don't know if that is a good or bad thing lmao Because I will seriously only go a route that has major businesses for the very same reason. If someone harasses me on the road or I have an emergency, I want to be able to be around a large area to people so that they can see me or something lol I don't know if that's being safe or being anxious though. I'm very aware of myself but I'm still not sure how to identify some of my behaviours as helpful or fitful lol