Winter/holidays blues or just anxiety?

[majones_0608]

I don't know why lately my anxiety has been so much worse than usual. I am scared of something but I don't know what. I know that I am scared of my own death and scared of being alone after my parents pass someday. I get terrified of the subject, but that has not been on my mind much lately. I don't know why my anxiety and depression and schizoaffective disorder have been worse lately? I have to keep drinking chamomile tea just to calm down. Plus, I obviously take my meds at night. Even all that doesn't seem to be quite enough.

[Pizzacat1]

I noticed some tension moving in earlier today. The holidays aren’t my thing so I’m guessing that is the source for me.

I can’t say what will relieve it other than the holidays being over.

[majones_0608 in reply to Pizzacat1]

That could be true that I may just need the holidays to be done.

[Josabet094]

Holidays tend to magnify our emotions because of all the outside stimulus from communities and society. We are pressured to be happy because of the season, and if we dont exactly fall under that category, we feel overwhelmed, worried, or anxious that we are not sharing the same holiday spirit as others.

I chose to not put a christmas tree up this year because I am alone.. and it only reminds me that I am alone and have no one to share a tree with or exchange gifts. Instead I took my dogs to the beach on christmas, and to my surprise there were quite a few other individuals walking alone, or sitting alone enjoying the beach on the holiday. A reminder that even when you are alone.. there are others feeling alone all around you too.

[majones_0608 in reply to Josabet094]

That makes sense that we feel pressured to feel happy during the holidays. Christmas day I was fine because there was plenty of distractions, but for a few weeks before that I was miserable.