I can't take it anymore!

[Jerewill]

20 years ago I was hooked on meth but in 2008 I had a brain hemorrhage but obviously I survived. Ever since I've never been able to find peace or joy

[Starrlight]

I’m sorry. That all sounds so difficult and I’m wishing you from my heart the hope to believe you will find peace and joy again. Keep trying. I really care.

[Jerewill in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks so much!

[Starrlight in reply to Jerewill]

Of course! If you want to talk more ever, I’m here to listen.

[JasonNo1 in reply to Starrlight]

Please know that you are not alone, and your feelings are important. I hope you find inner peace and happiness, and continue to move forward with courage

[secrets22]

Sorry you are feeling this way, peace and joy tends to arrive in small doses, stick with it and count every small blessing.

[fauxartist]

I think that in my life.... things come and go.... I'll be happisher for a while, and then my depression lies to me and makes me think life sucks.....but then after a while....I can find some ray of hope,....but again....down the road.... that chemical deficiency of depression kicks in again, and I don't need a reason to feel sad....I just do..... I know I'm 'Dual Diagnosed', and that means I battle two major illnesses on a daily basis... and add menopause and CPTSD...and it's a pretty good battle some days to stay afloat....but if I can do this...anyone can...I'm no different than anyone else in that respect....

Within all the chaos, I had to survive....and you have survived too, give yourself credit for that.... I had to take the small wins, and hold onto those during those days I felt hopeless. I knew that change was always inevitable, and that something would change my circumstances.... but I had to do the work, I had to believe that I had the choices...and what I couldn't change....I had to accept... I hope you can find your passion in life....and follow it. Find what does make you happy, simplicity, and small steps.... best wishes....

[Jerewill in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for that. That makes total sense. I just wish it wasn't such a struggle every single day. I wish I could say I have good days sometimes. I might have moments where I'm not totally suicidal but that's about it. I guess that's just the way it's gonna be, idk.

[fauxartist in reply to Jerewill]

I feel for you, honestly I do.... and all through my twenties I felt that way, every day, and even into my thirties. But I knew there had to be a way out of this....I just didn't know how. I knew that's why I felt suicidal was because I wanted a drastic change in my life but didn't see a way out, But it was a permanent solution to a temporary situation. And surviving an attempt could be worse if things went very wrong physically.

I started going to different groups...anything I could find that dealt with my issues. I also found affordable counseling that took me in on a sliding scale... I read everything I could to understand why I felt the way I did , and started to understand some of the underlying root causes of this misery....but key to this was.... I had to do the work, nobody had a magic pill for me, and nobody could fix me.... I had to make the choice to find a way...you can to.

[Jerewill in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it

[fauxartist in reply to Jerewill]

Anytime Jerewill....there are lots of us here to help each other... your not alone.