I don’t know how to help my 16 year old son

My 16 year old had everything going for him, honor student athlete, family that loves him, friends. Last year he started failing and withdrawn from everything even sports that he’s done since he was little. I took him to a Psychiatrist and therapist and he started meds, but found out months later he was doing drugs. Not even sure what but for sure thc vapes/carts. After that he refused meds and I took him to a different therapist. He liked him more.

Few months later (homeschool now) he had a break up. This has sent him spiraling again. He texted his ex and said he was going to kill himself in the next few days and he’s been using drugs. She told me.

When I confronted him, he said he didn’t mean any of it and he’s not using. I begged for him to go to a mental health facility for evaluation but he refuses.

I don’t want to force him with police but does anyone know any other options?

[gettingsomewhere]

Hi. This must be a huge worry for you and I'm sorry to read you're going through this horrible time with your son.

I have no advice, as I don't know the circumstances but it sounds like you're doing a great job as a mum, being there for him which is really all you can do. The rest is down to him.

My son got in with the wrong crowd at a similar age. It's difficult for them with peer pressure.

My husband & I took an approach of promoting what he was already good at and enjoyed such as sport and music. And he was motivated to do well despite everything.

There was also bribery! He was approaching 17 and I knew he was desperate to drive. I said he could have lessons but I needed to trust him otherwise no chance! He said "you can trust me mum" I was pleased he never let me down.

Good luck to you. Its incredibly difficult time and I sympathise.

[Hidden in reply to gettingsomewhere]

Thank you so much for the reply. It sounds like you know exactly how I feel. It’s so hard watching him on a path I never thought he’d take. Peer pressure definitely is worse now than it was for me when we were young.

As far as driving, he has completed everything he needs to do to get his license, but we are scared to let him due to trust and fear as well. He will be 17 in December.

I love him with everything I have and I hurt because he hurts.

I’m glad to hear your son didn’t let you down with driving. That gives me hope. I told my husband if he has something to look forward to, maybe things will get better. He devoted his entire life to basketball so now that he doesn’t have that, he doesn’t know anything else.

[gettingsomewhere in reply to Hidden]

I hope your son will step up to the responsibility. Perhaps if he sees his life might take off for the better once he can drive places and further his interests as my son did.

Your son is lucky he's got you and your husband as devoted parents.

All the best

[Hidden in reply to gettingsomewhere]

Thank you for the encouragement and kind words. We do want him to work also. It’s just hard to find part time at 16. When he turns 17 in 2 months there will be more options. I would like to give him a chance to do what’s right and see if he lives up to the challenge like your son did. If he could find purpose again I know he would come out of this.

Right now he just doesn’t care about anything or anyone and that’s not him.

[Midori]

Gosh; I'm sorry you are going though this with your son. I am so lucky in that my son has never got into that stuff. He experimented, but got away from it quickly when he left school for College.

I hope he will see sense and get help ( along with yours).

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Thank you. You are very blessed and so glad your son got away from it. I am praying mine will, too. Right now he is just so down and unmotivated which makes it worse. I never thought this could happen to him.

[Midori]

Just be there for him and help him up when he falls again.

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden]

Sometimes I heard somewhat having another responsibility can help like puppy or job. Or if he can go to Youth Centre or Club or gym meet people or trainer to focus his energy on something good. Volunteer can also accomplish a lot and not too much at first but building up

My brother changed because of job

Good luck