Anxiety and Depression Support

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I don’t know what to do

I’m holding every emotion in. Trying to heal from my past has become utterly impossible. I’m living in a place extremely similar to hell and I have to fake everything till I can leave. Being nice to a nine year old that makes my life a living hell literally she’s Satan’s spawn and I just want to go home already. 6 freaking months living in this hell hole and it’s still not a for sure when we can leave back home and on top of that the guy I love is in Italy on his mission and he doesn’t know I love or like him and we can only email on mondays and I’m lucky to get an email because he’s technically not allowed to email me since I’m a girl. I feel freaking lost without him... so... freaking...lost.... since I can’t express my feelings here in hell or to him I feel like I’m suffocating and I can’t break free. There’s days when I freak out on my dad since I can’t at anyone else. Idk what to do...😭

6 Replies

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Maybe an exercise routine might help you channel and release some of the pent up aggression concerning your situation. Or what about writing him a letter but don’t send it. Write about what’s going on. Then when he returns you can share them with him. Show him how much you missed him.

I’m actually doing that but I hate writing about something because I feel like I may jinx it. I’m kind of superstitious I guess? And I can’t go on walks or runs around here because it’s the most dangerous city in the state I live in right now. Shootings in front of this house a lot...

Honestly, idk if this is an option for you, but when I felt like home was hell and work was hell and I had no escape and was crumbling, my therapist recommend I get away for a night, just ask a friend or family member nearby and explain you just want a break from it all and believe me, people are willing to help and take you in and do whatever you need

I don’t have anyone nearby. They all live in my home state where I’m currently hoping to get back to soon.

How can a 9 year old child make your life a living hell? Are you saying you think this child is a witch or something? YOU are the adult and YOU are in charge not this child so enforce your authority. Or better still try and understand what is making her behave like this. Is she missing her father? Does she see you as a threat to her mother's memory? There must be some reason. Little girls don't have the power that we as adults have so take yours back from her.

How about taking her to a psychologist as it sounds like she (and you) need help. x

You don’t have any friends? Cuz if not I understand that, maybe set aside some money and save up for a night in a hotel?