What's wrong with me: I don't know what... - Anxiety and Depre...

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What's wrong with me

Cryer profile image
13 Replies

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have a good job, family, friends and have been in a relationship for almost a year and a half with a kind, caring man whose wife died 2 years before husband which was 6 years ago. My anxiety is almost unbearable and I've been trying for months to get in to a psychiatrist for some anxiety meds since my. Primary Care Dr won't prescribe anything. I finally have an appt for the end of the month. I've taken a ton of work off because I just can't stand being around people that are so fake and backstabbing but when I'm home I feel guilty about calling off which makes my anxiety even worse. I've tried counseling, meditation, sound therapy, yoga, mindfulness and nothing helps. Sorry I'm rambling on but wonder if anyone can relate to this or am I completely crazy?

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Cryer
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13 Replies
RLSSCARER profile image
RLSSCARER

Hello some differentThings that help me feel better

Swanson 5htp capsules

Moringa tablets

Shatavari tablets

Frankincense essential oil food grade

Mangosteen capsules

Maybe get your thyroid hormones checked

Cryer profile image
Cryer in reply toRLSSCARER

Thanks. Where do I get those from? Online, health store? Had thyroid tests and all good results.

RLSSCARER profile image
RLSSCARER in reply toCryer

On line, 5htp is only sold online in Australia, not sure about your country, i buy from ebay Australia, 5htp works without side effects, i use doterra essential oils, like frankincense, Basil, Parsley, thyme, these can cross the blood brain barrier and help neuro repair, when consumed in small amounts, non toxic essential oils are powerful remedy.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toRLSSCARER

By all means get your thyroid checked! A lot of my anxiety came from my overactive thyroid gland which did't get diag. till Years later. Thought, a lot of my anxiety was psychological, as well --The physical & mental & emotional CANNOT be separated tho. the medical profession can't seem to KNOW that! Good luck!

Pizzacat1 profile image
Pizzacat1

I retired three years ago. It was a good job with mostly great coworkers. I had just had enough of the stress and strain of the long workdays including the high traffic commute.

I did take a lot of sick days due to depression and anxiety. I would feel guilty but in the end I felt better through those days. My supervisor did comment on it I gave another health excuse - not depression as I was not sharing that with them

I have been on medication for over 30 years. I think it mostly keeps my head above water. I have also been in therapy. None of these has been the elusive cure which *I* don’t believe actually exists.

I have been widowed for 25 years. I am not interested in anything but friendship so I am ok remaining single.

I thought retirement and moving to a somewhat rural area would improve my mood Retirement has been a relief Though I like where I live, moving did not help and has made me more isolated

You are not crazy. I am not sure if you feel as I do - that you are tired of being depressed and anxious so much of your life with seemingly no answers or cure. This just seems to be an endless illness, at least to me.

I am not sure anything I have said is of any help. I don’t know what the answers are to the tons of questions surrounding this illness.

Laura (62F)

Cryer profile image
Cryer

Thank you for replying. I've been dealing with this crap for almost 37 years. My counselling experience, which I'm embarrassed to admit, lasted 13 years until one day I realized the only good thing coming out of it was the money my counselor was getting. I've done the same thing with work not telling why I needed off and as you, have my boss commenting about it. I'll be retiring after the first of the year and looking forward to getting out of my job. The ironic thing is I work ina nursing school where I see 80+ women everyday professing how perfect they are which doesn't help me either.

I just keep telling myself I made it through another day and hopefully tomorrow will be better but it never is. I can't talk to anyone because the very few times I've tried to confide in someone I was told to snap out of it and did I know how lucky I was to be living the life I have. Problem is do know that but it doesn't help when I want to stay in on bed covered up all day.

Damn I'm a mess!

LoveforAll41 profile image
LoveforAll41 in reply toCryer

Howdy Cryer, I am so sorry that you are suffering and have for so long. I have truly come to believe that if we can change the way we think we can change the way we feel. I always advocate for Dr David Burns' work. He believes in rapid recovery (not dragging therapy on for years and milking money from clients) and uses a method he calls TEAM therapy. You could perhaps look up a TEAM therapist if you have any inclination at all to try therapy again. It is just something that has worked for me, I will go on meds at times to get some relief until I can get some brain rewiring and perception work done. Ketamine and ketamine assisted therapy have helped me as well. There are so many things to try, don't give up. David Burns has a book I always plug, "Feeling Great" as well as the Feeling Good Podcast you can find on youtube. Here is a link to the therapist site: feelinggoodinstitute.com/fi...

That culture at work does sound unhealthy 😬

Again, I just know that therapy has been the real thing to help me as I work on changing my emotions to align with the rational thought that I have inherent immutable wealth along with all the other humans...☮️

Amiwrong profile image
Amiwrong

hi Cryer. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. For people to question you based on a checklist of items that they think should make you not depressed is so narrow minded. Famous people, intelligent people, psychologists even suffer from mental health issues. Yes, people don’t get it, but don’t hide, be who you are. They are all free to be who they are at this moment in life, so you be you - stressed, feeling crazy, depressed, whatever. If they reject it, keep your head up and keep going. You are bound to bump into someone else who is struggling and will admit to it.

As others mentioned I wouldn’t give up on therapy. I would perhaps do some research and sole searching first so that you can try to find someone who specializes in what you need. I’ve been to sooo many therapists and finally I found one who seems to be getting to the root of things. There won’t be a cure for me, but the goal is to have more good days than bad, and to make this happen I have to find out why I stuggle so much.

Good luck to you 🤗

CL3V3R-G1RL profile image
CL3V3R-G1RL

You are not crazy. It's anxiety and depression.

Therapy can be helpful however there are different types of therapy. Like for me as an example, I don't do well on CBT (cognitive behavior therapy). For most therapist that's like the gold standard. Maybe you're more like me where you need to regulate your emotions therefore DBT works for (Dialectical behavior Therapy) now it's based off of CBT but it's used to help people with PTSD, Depression etc. Helps to understand and accept your emotions, tolerate stress better, manage difficult emotions.

Then we have EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocess) helps best with PTSD.

There are a lot of therapies out there and therapists. It's just a matter of find someone you click with. Medication can help. I can speak on that.

But if I may make a book recommendations to help with your anxiety. These books really helped me and my partner out. Maybe you can even share them with your partner so he can better assist you. It's not easy to go at this alone. Helps when you have a support system. Don't feel guilty. You are not bad. You have done nothing wrong. You just need help. You are doing a brave thing by asking for help.

Anyways the books are Dare by Barry McDonagh also comes in an app for iPhone and Android. Which really helps me when I need to calm a racing brain.

Hope and Help For Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes.

Can really help get a better understanding of your anxiety and develop coping skills to manage anxiety.

Sending you love and healing 🫂 💖

jackiesj profile image
jackiesj

Cryer you are in no way crazy...i think more normal! sometimes we think its ramble but to us its education on you...a new friend...you are made of many puzzle pieces that all fit together..unique. not always happy...our normal...rollercoaster yup here....mind firing on and off when ever..yup normal...doctors are trying not to give as much meds..if you feel you need more help maybe try to find another doc that listens. i have panic attacks and didnt have to stay on med all my life...i really tried to find answers and a pattern...food sugar level up and down etc...may you find peace.

Alpakka123 profile image
Alpakka123

I can't relate to your content, but I can to your title. I will say that there absolutely nothing wrong with you! It might seem like you're going crazy, but you're not.

punkster profile image
punkster

Hello. I am also a female and have found that hormones and brain chemistry play a huge role in depression and anxiety. Before menopause, I was a slave to the monthly fluctuations in my hormones. I could count on feeling anxious/depressed and irritable during PMS. After menopause, insomnia became an issue as well as increased anxiety. I went on low dose hormone therapy which helped a bit. At the worst of my anxiety I took meds (both anxiety meds and antidepressants), which I had to discontinue due to side effects. I want you to know that this is NOT your fault or your choice. We inherit our brain chemistry and sometimes are a slave to our hormones. I hope the psychiatrist is able to help you. Also, I noticed that you didn't mention exercise as a way to cope. Try taking walks, even if it is just around the block. Walks can be very therapeutic.

kenster1 profile image
kenster1

no they haven`t piss off.

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