This is a shameful thing for me to talk about. I've never talked to anyone about this oh! Except once when I visited one of my school's guidance counselor at a time I was crazily down in my 2nd year and wanted to get through my anxiety and all negative feelings but she was much help cause she was never around or always had something to do and said "come back some other time" but never would she make time for this.
So this started a long time ago back in secondary school🤦. I found this sh*t out when one of my cousins I met at my grandparents' house during holidays introduced me to the site, I was pretty pretty young, this probably happened about 8-9 years ago and crazily simultaneously at the time I had my first girlfriend. It was so novel and crazily uplifting for me back then so I drowned myself in this sh*t everyday during the time. I think most problems I've had started at around the time I became infused with this addiction.
I used to spend hours on sites watching stupid sh*t at the time and it affected me in every way.y memory's function was kinda dwindled, started pulling from those I used to be jolly around. I knew it was a bad thing but the fleeting ecstasy I got from it was always pleasing and I just couldn't stop for years and honestly it has stayed with me throughout for a long while
Frequency has reduced over the years though and I've gained a little bit more control as I've grown better but every now and then, when crazy negative feelings and thoughts run through my mind, I still visit some sites but honestly I wished I could just stop, never knew this shit or engaged with it.
I stopped going over to my grandparents place cause it reminded me of where all my sh*t started and somehow always blamed my cousin whom I don't talk to anymore.
Damn!!! it always feels good after saying something you held on to for so long. I feel so peaceful, like some weight have been lifted off my chest
If anyone's got any tips, I'd be willing to listen ✌️✌️
Any one else suffering with addiction? 
I can’t make it on my own
Advice on Dealing with Spouse Family --Addiction issues
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Starting over
