Itchin my Addiction

Hi. I've struggled with addiction and I have been trying to do this alone. Partly because I have nobody and partly because this is one thing that you actually get distrusted for telling the truth about. I haven't used that horrible, wicked, awful drug now for around 8 months or so, and I genuinely never want to again. But I'm in so much pain I just want to blast off and go to the moon for awhile so I don't have to feel this way. I'm taking all these pills that really don't do anything, psychiatrist are waay overrated because people seem to think they the have all the answers, but my life experience shows that they get it wrong far more then they get it right. I keep taking these worthless pills by the handful that frankly they don't do anything. Well I know something that will help. For awhile anyways, but then it gets bad. So I'm not going to get started back on that stuff ever again. I've just been trying to do this alone. Scared to tell my doctor, scared to tell my therapist, scared to tell anybody. (You tell them, they won't trust you anymore). So I've just been trying to do this alone and I need somebody to help me. Not so much with the stopping or the craving part of it, that's the easy part, but with all the internal grief that coming along with it. If you've ever been caught up in addiction then you know what I mean. I feel like a horrible person and I just want this pain to end. People don't use drugs and/or alchohol because they are morally deficient, they use them because they are sick and trying to feel better, but the stigma associated with it keeps me from reaching out, asking for help and talking about it.

[Sillysausage234]

Well done for getting clean

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I can’t stay sober without AA. Or NA if you’re primarily into drugs. There’s no way I can do it alone. The drink and drug are only symptoms of the addiction.

[Hidden]

My brother is in recovery, so I know how hard this is. He was clean for almost a year before relapsing. I don't have any advice but just wanted to encourage you to keep moving forward, and take one day at a time. I know, just from watching him, how hard it is

[McK456]

Hi deep thinker. Just wanted to say how proud I am of you for overcoming your addiction. I am a former smoker, having smoked for 35 years. I had to change everything about myself. I could not have done it accept by one day at a time. It has been 8 years now. It is better, I am healthier...I can breathe.

I agree that some people may think that people with an addiction can’t be trusted. But I know at least 30 people in my support group that support one of our peers who is in recovery. We believe in him, we encourage him, we’re a positive force. And YES, he’s been through hell. If you’re in hell right now, keep walking cause you can & will get through it. From what I hear, a 12 step program has transformed so many lives. Good luck to you!

Hoped this helped.

[BrokenWings83]

Hello deepthinker! I read your post and felt a lot of sympathy for you and I also understand how fighting ones addiction can be so difficult. My fight is against cigarettes, and I have not smoked for about 3 months now. One day at a time, we must go on.

Doing it alone is hard my friend. I can relate to other things you said, and I am here if you want to share your troubles.