I don’t get it: I’m so upset. I don’t... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I don’t get it

dee_bells profile image
30 Replies

I’m so upset. I don’t cook dinner very often. At least every 2-3 months. So I thought I’d cook dinner tonight. Nothing too fancy. Spaghetti. My husband was out mowing and he likes to eat his dinner hot. I went out to the side yard and said dinners ready.

He stopped and said “Fu*k!” and waved around at the yard. Neighbors are outside and he continues his tirade with G** damn it, son of a bit*h, fu*king sh*t.

It hurts my feelings and I went inside.

He always gets so angry over the dumbest stuff. He’s a jerk.

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dee_bells profile image
dee_bells
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30 Replies
sandphoenix80 profile image
sandphoenix80

That's crazy. I don't even get what there is to be mad about.

Feel free to message me, and also if he continues I would seek to find another man.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells

Same. He really swears a slew of foul words. But I don’t get like that over something simple. He would get just as mad if he went through a drive-thru, got home and they forgot his French fries. I won’t be speaking to him for a week. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

What an odd way to react to the dinner bell.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

I know! You’d think he’d be happy to get fed. Lol.

in reply to dee_bells

I know I would be! Who doesn’t like food?

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to dee_bells

Maybe he should graze on the grass he has been mowing.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to gogogirl

Good answer. Maybe I’ll put it on his plate next time. Lol

I don’t get why he became angry in the 1st place! He was upset because dinner was ready before he finished the yard? Oh well, guess he can reheat his in the microwave! No big deal! I would just ignore his foul behavior and go on with eating my dinner! Is he that grouchy all the time? I hope not, for your sake! I would ignore him and don’t allow him to ruin things for you. Don’t give him whatever response it is that he’s looking for. I would not have any expectations! Wishing you peace of mind! 🌺🙂🌺

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

I did eat my dinner. I guess I interrupted his mowing. 😬

I'm sorry your husband is being like this. Sounds like you need to change things, maybe? I'm here for you wishing you peace. I love you! Light, joy & hugs!!!

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

Thank you!

Delanna profile image
Delanna

If a man cannot appreciate a woman's single effort then shame on him.

Now maybe his anger is not targeting towards you so I do not know but if it is

Next time please "cook him an attitude "

Now that being said if he does not treat you like a women you call the shots woman.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to Delanna

Something happens at work and then he has these bursts of anger. So I walk away.

Lm92 profile image
Lm92

I would just act as though everything is fine and then next time you decide to cook, only make enough for yourself. My husband has a quick temper like that as well and anytime I react verbally or emotionally, I'm accused of overreacting. My solution is to leave him out of whatever it was that caused his temper to flare previously whether it was a family outing, a meal, a project, etc. That's always gotten the point across and has really helped him lean to curb his harsh reactions. You DON'T have to put up with it. Sure, everyone has bad days, but it doesn't give anyone the right to degrade you, especially in front of the entire neighborhood. I hope things get better for you.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to Lm92

Thank you and the neighbors think he’s great cuz he always stops to talk with them. I don’t go outside very often. I know a few neighbors were out and I hope they got to hear all the swearing. I wish the neighbor further down heard him because that neighbor is a pastor. Maybe he can talk some Jesus into him.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Was he swearing at you? That's nasty if he was. I agree with the others to just leave him out of any equations if he is going to behave like that. x

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to hypercat54

He was swearing cuz I interrupted his mowing. Who wouldn’t want a break from mowing? He earned a “I’m not cooking him dinner for some time to be determined.”

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Warning- does not compute- you made him dinner and he cursed- hope YOU enjoy the dinner that you worked hard to put together.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to gogogirl

I did enjoy the dinner. 😁. I’ll never hear, I’m sorry.

Hi, please don’t take it his reactions personal. I can imagine only it is because I can relate. From what of heard and read people people who react that way towards another person is just a reflection of themselves. They see something great in you they are missing and want. I’m sorry your going through that. I can see how your feelings would be hurt as you were doing such a grand gesture and did nothing wrong on your part. But I can assure it has nothing to do with you. I’m not going to bad- mouth your husband as I respect you and relationship. Perhaps he has anger issues or something and needs to seek therapy or needs to see his primary doctor. It sounds like you are unable to expression yourself and communicate with him on how much that hurts your feelings. Please do not left your self esteem get lowered or you lose your path on life. Keep your head up. I can not emphasize this on how much this has nothing to do with you it’s all on him. It’s his loss on the hot spaghetti you made I’m sure it was great😉 stay positive and smile

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

That you so much! That means a lot because you’re right. I saw my therapist and she said the same things you’ve said.

He was into his mowing but he was wrong for not saying something like I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

So he wasn’t cussing me out but he does have these strange bursts of anger and then he’s over it in 2 minutes and I’m feeling miserable.

I admit at times he acts like a jerk. I need to call him out on his BS when he acts like that.

Thank you so much! I feel better. 😊😊😊😊🌸🌸🌸Dee

in reply to dee_bells

Awesome! Never let someone make you feel bad about yourself when they feel bad. I know it’s tough even for me. Trust me . Let’s try. I give it s shot this week. 🙏

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

I have to ask the hubby to fix something around the house but I’m afraid he’ll start cussing. I know, I’m pitiful. ☹️

in reply to dee_bells

You are not pitiful. Do you realize that means you are referring to your self as the which means undeserving,inadequate ,worthless,insignificant... No way you are the complete opposite. When you think those thoughts remind yourself you are the opposite of pitiful btw, is significant,magnificent, worthwhile, and heart warming☺️,... ,

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

Thank you and sorry I’ll come back and comment in a few hours. 😘

in reply to dee_bells

I hope I didn’t say something to offend you

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to

No, no no, Warrior 4iam! You’re fantastic! Your words are so kind and they make me sad and sweet and you’re incredibly caring. 😁 I have a major headache—I have to eat something, take my pills and shut my eyes for a minute. So definitely not you. I’ll be back. 🙁🙁😊😘

CaramelGal profile image
CaramelGal

If he can get that upset over you doin something nice to him, somethings wrong. I’d tread very lightly with him. He’s a ticking time bomb girl.

dee_bells profile image
dee_bells in reply to CaramelGal

He is and I don’t want to tread lightly. I’m tired of walking around on eggshells. Like my therapist said, I need to call him out on his bullshit. Today may be the day. 😬😬

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