I've only dated once since I've been old to do so and that was probably about 6 years ago in my secondary school daysI visited my grandparents house during the holidays frequently and attended their church but somehow, my cousin never really talked to anyone in the church, we all just go in and out after Sunday services.
I met a beautiful girl who I liked though I never talked to her in like forever. But then somehow I was able to get her number and we started chatting up and make each other smile so I made a move on the phone and she said she'd want to meet in person, I agreed though I was scared to sh*t cause I knew I would be drowning in sweat upon meet up. We met and I summoned the courage to ask her but I sweated the whole of the Pacific Ocean that night😄 and days later she replied positively.
We started see each other for a few weeks but I always felt sweaty and anxious whenever we met, I've just always had the condition. When the holidays were over and it was time to go back, we said our goodbyes and promised to reach out to each other more and see each other soon. But then, a few weeks later of having blissful convos on the phone, I just started to pull away, I wasn't interested in speaking on the phone anymore and I just ignored all her calls till she gave up. She didn't do a single bad thing that I can think of, I just suddenly gave up on the relationship.
For months later, I felt bad for doing that and still yet, it's been years and I still feel rotten for those actions and I don't know how to get closure from that and move on.
Ever since I've never had another girlfriend in my life or many female friends for that matter cause I feel I'm undeserving of their 💕
Wow, it really feels great to say that after all these years. I'd really appreciate honest comments 😔✌️
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DontJudge
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Howdy DontJudge. I think that if you still have her number you could apologize and that might give you come closure. Long distance relationships are hard, I think it makes a lot of sense when we stop maintaining them. I think that you learned a good lesson that next time you will have a frank conversation and break things off cleanly. I think that is the ultimate closure, learning from our past.
I think the sweating can only lessen with exposure... You can find another woman who is fine with the sweating, and as you grow more and more comfortable around her the sweating will fade. Side note, I tried prescription strength antiperspirants but they just made things worse, now I only use deodorant and no antiperspirant 🤷♂️. Another side note, and this worked for me when asking women on dates, was to think to myself that even if she thought I was creepy or gross or whatever some small part of her would be flattered and she would be uplifted at least some small amount. Anyway, that always worked to get me to be able to ask someone out☮️You got this
Thank you for this LoveforAll41 , I think I still have her number, I'll try reaching out to her to see if it's possible to get closure.
So you say to get more exposure and the sweating will reduce? I honestly was considering antiperspirants since I've been seeing lots of articles on them but I might reconsider on those given your reactions.
And I'll try to go out more and see if it's possible to get positive reactions, I might probably feed you back on how it goes😀
I would love to hear updates. I mention Dr David Burns in most of my posts, he has a thing he calls rejection therapy where he would go out with clients and they would ask people on dates or just straight up ask people to reject them asking them on a date or for their number and explain that they were doing rejection therapy. Many on here love Claire Weeks work and she talks about just letting the anxiety be and getting through it. I think it all comes down to anxiety needing exposure therapy. You build up strength. I sweat when I get nervous, and I have days where I do for sure certainly, but it is mostly good. I have found that working up a sweat in the morning exercising is helpful too☮️
hey ! Long distance relationships rarely work. It would have been better to have told her it wasn’t working but you can’t change the past, but you can learn from it. As someone else suggested calling her or writing a letter would be a good way for closure for you and for her. Im sure she’s wondering what happened too.
As for the sweating there are medical reasons for sweating profusely. You may want to talk to a doctor about it. But if it’s normal sweating, you might find out it might subside the more you get accustomed to new situations. Good luck!
Can you imagine how you would feel inside if you shared your feelings with her like you shared online with us. I think it would free you up from holding on to these feelings for years and you could tell her honestly and then get her side of the relationship. Think about how she must have felt with you just leaving her? It can't hurt to try you could help each other out.
You're right and somehow I've known this to be the right thing to do subconsciously and you're probably helping me really by pushing for this. Whew, mehn!!! I feel really anxious thinking bout it right now 🤦
Tabby-5 I finally got the courage to and I texted her tonight and share my feelings and ask apologized. I'm glad, I was able to do this. Thanks to you and the community at large for the support of courage
I am proud of you!!!I know that took a lot of courage to make the call and share your feelings. I hope this lifted you and her up after all these years to air your feelings for both of you. Great JOB! I know how difficult it is to push through anxiety and fear but you did it!
Honestly, I feel anxious while doing this but then she responded and positively at that. I thought she'd be crazy and yell at me or block me up but it ended good. She was like it's all in the past, that she doesn't hold a grudge against me and things were good between us. It felt nice to hear responses like that. I'm happy I got to do this. Thank you once again for this 💕💕
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