I have feelings too

[Against_the_current]

I paid for the boiler insted of her and instead of her returning the money, my dad's parents are. I asked for 50lv more and once i said i will give them to mom to repair the radio in the car. But this drunk bitch never drives and i had forgotten about it and i finally did my finances in order to save for moving out. I had forgotten. She forgets she insulted me last night every night but she remembered the 50lv i forgot. She's doing it on purpose to upset me for telling her it's not okay to invest in the radio of a car nobody drives. She's insulting me multiple times in every conversation we have and i tell her and she forgets. I have a dignity too.

[Alpakka123]

Hi AtC,I'm sorry it continues to be so hard. Yes, you sure do have feelings and dignity. Have you told your mom this?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

She doesn't accept it as I'm unemployed

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Can I ask why it is that you don't want to work?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Because my eyes start twitching and i vomit. Also i want to work and run from home, retreat, surrender, flee...but i can't find a job. Rn I'm so scared of mom that i would flee immediately

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Please understand how your first sentence sounds to someone reading this:"I don't want to work because my eye starts twitching and I vomit". Do you see how ridiculous this sounds? There is absolutely no connection between your physical manifestions of stress and you not wanting to work.

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

I will push myself to try

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Thank you!

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Tommorow i will go to a place with employers and I'm so scared. My sister vomited all night and things are really tense here

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Why are you scared?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

A lot

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Will this be a job thing or what will this place be?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

So scared of both i can't function

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Yes, you can function. This is your brain telling you that you can't.

[hypercat54]

Please don't call your mother names like this. Its not nice. She doesn't have to let you live in her home after all does she? So appreciate that at least.

[SsgCulldelight]

1. This is YOUR choice to stay. No one lies, cheats or disrespects you without YOUR permission, be it silent acceptance or verbally acknowledged. 2. You are responsible for your happiness and comfort, leave that in some others hands and you get what you get from their perspective. 3. It's hard depression, loneliness, no luv from the one that bore you, your first God. Know that you are a God as well, stop the pity and walk in your divine nature. If your not gonna do that, then be content with what your Givin.

[Against_the_current in reply to SsgCulldelight]

I know i should flee, retreat and surrender, run, but i just can't find a job and I'm nauseous living alone

[SsgCulldelight]

Hi I know, wherever you run to You will always run into You. It's a challenge to meet new friends and trust is a major issue I know. Great is your greatest enemy you must defeat it. You have to look on the mirror and say to yourself, Iam healthy iam commanding my cells to defeat all bacteria, inflammation and infection. I am beautiful ism kind and I am commanding positive energy to dwell within my spirit so I may share my compassionate gift with my family and friends. Walk and drink your water. Water has memory and is conscious, when you shower or bathe, talk to your water and your being. I know sounds silly rite, but check this, when you pray or meditate, who answers you? YOU DO, and That IS the divine God in you friend. Your Bible, Torah, septuigent, emerald tablet and all the codices trek You This. Nothin and no one can save YOU from Yourself BUT YOU. I know you've been taught and conditioned, trained and told to believe in things that you can't possibly prove. Entities that are outside of your being and where has that ended besides more insecurity, more questions, more worry. You have to know that the healing and happiness you seek comes from YOU, inside YOU, positive affirmation is real, that's why THEY don't popularize, express, exhibit or promote it. $ IS king in this physical realm, not in the realm of the spirit, your divine spirit. Sheesh we all have issues and challenges bro, abs when THEY say all have fallen dirty off the Glory of GOD, THEY mean YOU, BECAUSE we do not believe in OUR divine self, THEY taught us not to. Why eat meat? Or teeth aren't designed for it, or stomach rejects it, we ignore that, and our bodies manifest it, pimples, high blood sugar and pressure, body aches, confusion and brain fog. Yeah I could write a book, and I'm working on that as well. It's all pretty simple, or influences make us complicate things, and THEY push that for what? $. Luv you bro and never ever surrender to nothin. That's not your job. Your Job is to live and enlighten others.

[Against_the_current]

I do. It's really hard. And my mom doesn't understand my mental health

[Against_the_current]

Thank you. It's hell and this should be the best time of my life. I can't find someone who won't abandon me or need money. I'm calling the Red cross when things go hard as it's the only service i can access and that cares about me. Other lines in my country have already told me they're not for my case