I thought I was improving

[Irishisme]

I had a really bad night last night. It feels like I spent the whole night doing deep breathing slow exhale exercises. My mind kept racing about all the little things AND big things.

I’m helping my daughter pay her bills for the next couple of months just so she can stay in her apartment ( she was hospitalized for 2 weeks and is trying to get back and settled) and I can do that because I’m working extra right now. My mind keeps going to : what if she can’t support herself. What if I can’t get rid of her old car. ( when she was in hospital her transmission went and I got her another used one a friend was selling) the old car is parked here at my house. My dog had a tick and my mother in law removed it. I saw mouse poop in the basement 🤷‍♀️. The hospital bills keep coming and I can’t show them to her because I’m afraid. Still waiting to hear if she will get help with them. Yesterday she came by after work and was upset saying she was so sad the abusive relationship she had been in didn’t work out and she feels stupid for loving him still. She said she wishes she could get mad. Also wishes court wasn’t so far away in July. ( we have to go to court because she has assault charges against him) I can’t share with my other daughter because she has extreme anxiety too

Anyway I guess I should keep a journal because typing this has made me feel a slight relief. I wish I could fast forward to next year and know it will all be ok 😕

[gajh]

I am glad your daughter has you for support. Do you have anyone for support for you? There is a lot of support available here. I am glad you are posting.

[Irishisme in reply to gajh]

Thank you. I know I need support but the people I would usually share with have their own issues right now. Thank you for your response 💚

[gajh in reply to Irishisme]

Then please feel free to share here.

[Desperate4Happiness]

You are carrying a LOT on your shoulders right now. Please try to take at least a few minutes each day to decompress and think about NOTHING.

[Irishisme]

thanks for the response. Idk how to think of nothing. I used to drink casually to relax once in a while but since this happened I’m afraid to drink alcohol in case I don’t want to stop