Why can some people cope well with the difficulties of life and some people can’t? I often read here stories of people who know exactly what to do, but they won’t do it! I guess we are all like that, at least in part, but doesn’t it make sense that if I know exactly what to do, it should be easy to do it? I guess Jesus was right when He compared us to sheep. Did you know that if a sheep falls into a hole, even if the hole is very small and the sheep could easily get out of it, they won’t do it? and they sometimes die of starvation or heat in that insignificant little hole because they can’t rescue themselves.
Let’s resolve to get stronger every day in some way. To learn more about our condition, to find another way to cope with stress, to go for a walk in the park and relax just today, to call someone, to be grateful for something, or to make a list of all the things that make us smile and enjoy that brief moment. My heart goes out to those who are suffering and know exactly what to do but don’t think they are strong enough to do it.
I want to share with you guys a relaxation technique that’s surprisingly effective. Use it anytime you feel anxious. Look for it. You won’t regret it. “10 Minute Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) to Restore Mental & Physical Energy | Dr. Andrew Huberman”
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Love Andrew huberman. I've watched a lot of his podcasts on YouTube. Love your post!! The only way out of our pain is through it. We have to do the hard work to reap the benefits. Following another person's path will not bring personal growth. I've finally taken on the challenge to find my own path and it's liberating. Thanks for reinforcing my resolve for finding inner peace this morning.
You are very welcome! I like Andrew Huberman’s videos too. They are very helpful. I’m glad you’re fighting back! I love your approach. No doubt you will get through this and get to the other side healthier and more resilient. Sending you blessings and good wishes
I just read it. It’s interesting. I found it similar to the stages of grieving for some reason. It’s very logical - at first you feel awful, then abandoned, then you talk to someone or get a therapist and you start seeing some light and finally you overcome and grow as a person. It’s very useful to see it as a process and not as a death sentence. Thanks for sharing it with me
Yes! It kinda is like the stages of grieving. It's about accepting reality for what it is which will reduce or end our suffering because we wished "things were different".
Reality is timeless and universal ♾️☯️ it has no beginning or end. When we get pulled between the constructs of Time and Reality, we suffer. I don't want to suffer the rest of my life because I can't face the truth and Reality.
Well said. I totally agree. Accepting reality as it is is the most reasonable and helpful way to think. And life, although not all suffering, is certainly hard at times. Have you ever heard Jordan Peterson? He talks about this a lot. That life has a great deal of suffering, and we have to fight back and conquer ourselves and eventually improve our life in spite of all the suffering. I find his talks very inspiring.
I do not believe it’s a matter of knowing what to do and choosing not to do it, not at all.
sorry you’ve never had to Sheppard before, sheep are not dumb, they’re very intelligent, smart enough to evade and bypass hazards like electrical fences. a Sheppards responsibility is to keep sheep safe from predators, find them food 24 hours a day keep them from wandering off and maybe shearing. who told you sheep are dumb? As intelligent as a pig. untrue getting stuck in ankle deep holes. they can jump just fine and swim. perhaps one did get stuck in deep hole over the course of history and a few have rolled on their backs on accident. like a tortoise they need help when that happens but they will not just lay there and die. nonsense.
I actually read it in a book written by an experienced shepherd. I think he worked with sheep for more 30 years if I remember correctly. But thanks for the comment
Sure, I read it many years ago, I hope I remember the title correctly. I think it was something like “A Shepherd looks at the Psalm 23” It is wonderful book that really helped me understand my own inconsistencies. By the way, Jesus never said sheep were stupid and neither did I. He was talking about they being unable to help themselves sometimes. Hope you enjoy the book!
I never said I’m an expert in sheep. I just shared what I read, but it seemed like you got offended. That’s why I’m clarifying, but it is obvious our conversation has become somehow a debate about who is right, and I honestly don’t have time or interest in debating. If you don’t agree, that’s well within your rights. It was simply a comment
About the rest of your comment…I agree, it’s not always that simple, especially if addictions are involved, and yet, there are times when it is simple and we make our lives (because of our lack of action) harder for us than they need to be. I experienced this firsthand when, for 7 years I tried to “save” a marriage that was doomed from the beginning. I could just let go and save myself and my children years of pain, disappointments, and trauma if I had just taken the right decision. It was simple; I knew exactly what to do but failed to do it. Now, I need therapy and medication I probably would not need if I had just listened to myself and others and acted on it. I’m sure I’d be happier and healthier now. I dug a hole and fell in it and stayed there for 30 years total! That’s unreasonable and not the best strategy. But every path is different, like LifeIsThePitts just said. I wish you the best in your journey
This is WHY Im attracted to Buddhism. It's about learning about yourself and figuring out the teachings of the practice from your own perspective. It's not about following rituals or traditions or scripture. It's not about saving or changing the world... it's about cultivating the best version of yourself, for yourself, by yourself.
This is also one of the MANY reasons why I love Star wars so much.
litethatnevergoesout We can't move forward if we're stuck re-living our past. Your journey is a zigzag-y line of ups and downs. You fell in a 🕳️ hole for 30 years...so did I. But it doesn't have to define your future or imprison you from partaking fully in it.
That's the difference. I've followed the path of others, thinking if they were successful, I just have to replicate their roadmap and I'll be successful, as well.
In many things, being an apprentice is crucial for learning a trade or career path. Spiritual growth is different.
I listened to a podcast this morning that clarified an important fact for me. Buddhism is my personal calling. Buddhisms focus is not on changing the world or society.... it's about transforming YOU. THAT'S why I'm drawn to it so deeply. I can only change myself, NOTHING ELSE. NOTHING!
I've reached to every outside source of comfort and failed because what I'm searching for is not available from outside myself. It's about finding My way from within.
I'm not sure what it will entail... but I don't have to know. It will unfold in it's own time.
Every comment you make gives me food for thought. You are very right though as what we need is inside us. We often need encouragement, inspiration and validation to release it though.
This is the beauty of a site like this. We all share our personal journeys and learn along the way.
Discovering what our strengths are can be a challenge if we're focused on the wrong solution 😕I kept fighting against my fears and trapped myself in my past and projected that history into the future...all of which imprisoned me from nurturing that confidence that resides in all of us, I was tone deaf to it because The screaming of my inner child/ego is usually what takes precedence and that incessant critic ran the show until I started learning to cultivate that voice at my core, that speaks from my Soul.
I'm letting go of everything that does not serve me in a healthy manner. It's REALLY hard and REALLY easy, simultaneously. Re-Training my brain is like stopping a run away train. It doesn't stop on a dime, but it will eventually stop, as will my ingrained habits and reactions. Triggers don't have to be triggers FOREVER 😉👍
I'm not focused on results and comparisons anymore. I'm just trying to live day to day, sometimes minute to minute. That's helped keep my anxiety down. I don't know what's going to happen next...but I'm ok with just going with the flow.
You’re a smart cookie Dolphin 14! I never thought of Googling it! I just remembered it from the book and I was also fascinated by it, (and other things the book mentioned that are so similar to what I see in me and others) In fact, the book became my favorite because it is so relatable. Like you, I’d like to crop things properly, but I find that even when my reasoning about a particular issue is correct, my behavior doesn’t follow - that’s what prompted my question. I guess it was my way to say “what’s the matter with me?” Thanks for your kind response, I needed it
Hi I live in a rural part where sheep are the main livestock. Including the field opposite! If I see a sheep on its back and it hasn't moved for a while I phone the farmer otherwise it won't be long before the crows get to it (I'll spare you the details)
Hey! Thanks for your comment! I read it in the book and assumed it was true, but it’s nice to confirm it with someone who also has seen it. I went to a park, and close by there was a field with sheep, and it was fascinating when the shepherd entered and all of them began following him at once. Again, I had read it but seen it is quite a different thing. There were like 300 or more sheep following a single person wherever he went. I loved it! I wish I lived where you live. It’s so kind of you to call the farmer, by the way. I wish you were my neighbor!
And if you read the book you would laugh a lot about how similar our behavior is to theirs. There are also “rebellious” sheep that are always getting into other farmers’ fields either jumping or squeezing themselves through little holes in fences, and they get hurt, but as soon as the shepherd heals them and they are okay, they’ll do it all over again! (if I remember correctly, I read it so many years ago).
Sometimes, there are lots of things hidden deep within the outer things that seem so simple that we can't do. But, the most important and effective "treatment" for so many things is a lot of what you mentioned: SOCIAL SUPPORT AND CONNECTION.
So, we do need to reach out more, and not allow ourselves to withdraw and isolate and get STUCK in place, stuck in the excess negative thoughts that can multiply.
Being honest, I live in a place where no one is interested in who I am, etc like a ghost,who is invisible unless I'm of some use to them. I'm a loner but this is extreme isolation and it's killing me. Just to have a good conversation with someone who was interesting, and interested in me. It has taken a huge toll on me for 8 years here alone.
I love you can see that isolation is not the answer. I couldn’t see it for many years even though my dad insisted I needed friends. I had been hurt so much that I lost all faith in people. But I’m learning that actually there are a lot of great people, like yourself and others here who are interesting and make my life better. Keep making connections. Thanks for sharing about struggles with me
By the way, you’re absolutely right, sometimes there are things we cannot see at surface level that stop us from making a shift. That’s a very valid point. Thanks for sharing your perspective
with all due respect please do not preach to me about being stronger. I’m almost 66 and work 7 days a week, 2 jobs. I’m Jewish and do not want to read about other people’s religious belief. I do what I do in order to survive. My mother was my best friend and I lived with her. When she was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic Pancreatic cancer in September 2014, I became her sole caregiver. It was mind over matter I loved her dearly and my love for her helped me get thru this. It’s not so simple to say let’s get stronger. I went on temporary psych disability in November 2019. My depression and ADHD had become too much for me. I stepped back did everything I had to do to get thru the beginning of COVID and reemerged a different person.
I was not preaching to you, I don’t even know you. As is the case with any post here, you are welcome to read it or simply ignore it. That’s perfectly fine, I’m not looking for followers. I wrote it to encourage others, and some people with a more positive attitude found it useful, and if that’s the case it fulfilled its purpose. Please if whatever I share offends you don’t read it. You are under no obligation to do it
With a more positive attitude?? If I did not have a positive attitude I couldn’t have got thru very difficult things in my life. I don’t understand what you mean by follower. I can pick and choose what I want to read.
Followers in this case means people who follow someone's profile. It's kind of strange that she would say this when nobody even remotely implied it. There's some history behind this...
Not really hiding anything Alpakka123, but the “don’t preach to me.. I don’t want to hear about other people’s beliefs” implies I’m proselytizing, (looking for followers) or forcing them to read my comments which is not the case at all, and it’s annoying that some people just pick a fight instead of reading it objectively and see if it helps them in some way or not and move on. I’m willing to learn when I do or say something wrong, but I don’t like the negativity of defending themselves as if we’re attacking them. I’m myself included in those ideas! I am part of those who want to change and can’t or I wouldn’t be here! (Sorry about the ranting Aloakka, I hope you’re not one of those who take things personally)
Hi again,Just reread your comment and noticed something I didn't on first read. You want to change but can't. That's awesome that you want to change!!! But why can't you? I'm genuinely curious about this, so thanks in advance for your reply.
I appreciate your question. I really do. I don’t know why, but I worry too much! Sometimes for things that are very real, but sometimes for things that are not. My psychologist keeps telling me, “Those fears are not real—that might never happen” or “the evidence shows you the opposite; stop worrying,“ and I know it’s absurd to worry; it’s clear in my mind that it is unreasonable, and yet, I wake up in the middle of the night all stressed out about it. I really want to stop the cycle of worry that permeates my life. It’s unhelpful and unhealthy. I have some good days (no ruminating thoughts or negative thoughts), but they are few and far between.
Yes pretty awful, but I keep trying and improving one moment at a time. Today I feel good about myself and very grateful to God because in spite of my all my fears I did something I wanted to do for a long time, but thought I’d never be able to do. Today the sun is shining!
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Hopelessness 
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Learn to let go and you will recover.
From Feeling Like A Nothing To Being Grateful To Be HERE...
