Anyone still up

I don’t know if anyone else is up at 2:45am but I’m always up and my emotions are overpowering me again . I’m so lost I just need to leave this life the only way I know how . For the first time in decades I have someone in my life and I love him completely but he’s in USA and I’m in U.K. so I have hrs on my own . I was so used to it . Now I’m not alone a lot of the time . I really can’t cope when I’m left on my own once again til the small hrs of tomorrow . It doesn’t make sense . His love is beautiful but I’m worthless and don’t deserve it . I don’t know how to cope anymore . My only escape is to act out my suicidal ideation . It won’t be the first time . I don’t want to hurt him and it’s stopping me but I can’t get the ideas out of my head . I know they’ll only go away when I do it so I don’t have any choice . I have to do it

[Rainbowseahorse]

Hi, I’m still up and I just happened to come across this website and your post. I joined the website so I could let you know that no matter how bad you’re feeling you’re not alone and you’re not worthless. Please don’t do any harm to yourself. There are people out there that care. I’m one of them.

[Survivor4Ever]

You don’t have to they are just thoughts that lie to us. We feel so bad and depressed and feel so bad about ourselves and see no way out. But the truth is 10 minutes from the Sun or rain will come. You will rise above this. You have to remember you are not your thoughts. You can’t trust them. They change all the tunes. Think back of the times prior to this you won’t in this place so will still here? Question? How is this serving you ? What benefits are you getting out of this? Make a list of the pros and cons . Also make a list of your strengths and weakensess

[Hidden in reply to Survivor4Ever]

They’re my thoughts , it’s my head . I don’t know what you mean . I can’t separate it from me . We all listen to our heads . It’s what tells us what to do . We all do what our brains tell us to do or we’d all be dumb .

[Survivor4Ever in reply to Hidden]

Yes it messages put in our head and we refuse to let go of

[Hidden in reply to Survivor4Ever]

Can you help me ? How do I not do what my head tells me to do ? It didn’t work again last night , still here . At some point I hope I get it right cos I’m sick of trying to end this and it not working . I don’t know how to change . I don’t know if I can change . But I can’t keep going when my brain gets overloaded which is nearly all the time . I wanna escape but since my many attempts fail in one way or another I need something to change . My heads killing me and I can’t stop when it’s feeding me suicidal ideation so often .

[Agora1]

pandapandaj.... Love, the most precious gift two people can have.

Why would you want to hurt yourself and your love? There is help for your

suicidal ideations. You need to see professional help right now before

you destroy 2 lives that are intertwined. We all have choices in life.

Please choose to help yourself. I care xx

[Yesterdayhurts]

Hey I am up, two things if you need and love him then he needs and loves you, I spent two years in England and loved it, so no matter where two chose to be it will be an great adventure for both and the plane ride isn't that long start looking and saving for a future that will chase all the self harm thoughts no darkness can exist where all you see is light. Please for yourself, tell me what and where you would take your new visitor to England. Would like to revisit some of the amazing places I visited during my stay. One of my favs was that tiny stone Church on the coast of Wales. As a shorter guy it fit me perfect all my buddies cracked their heads. Where would take him first?

[JBmom36]

This is exactly how my husband felt two weeks ago. He went to his doctor and was put on medication for borderline personality disorder. I am not trying to diagnose you, just sharing his story. I know one of the meds is cymbalta and it has helped tremendously. He even says he feels a little happy. There are many resources and things you can do to stick around for your love and one of them is calling a hospital or going to the emergency room. They will help you. As you can see many strangers are rooting for you and your love. Please message me if I can just be a listening ear or some comfort.

[FormerMrsOfficer]

You feel like that now but just know it's just a feeling it will go away. Don't make choices off emotions.. I been right where you are now. And to be honest I was seconds away from ending it. But something inside said you are strong! YOU ARE STRONG!! you will beat this you are loved! I am sending you love from California! Let's fight this together!

[Hidden]

Don’t be so hard on yourself love. You’re doing the best you can. Don’t hurt yourself please. You matter and you are loved. You’re also definitely not alone! I know anxiety/depression can make you feel those ways but you’re not alone and anxiety depression does not define you as a person. Stop telling yourself you’re worthless it’s only gonna make you feel worse. Change your perspective..For example someone says “i’m broken” shift it to “i am growing and healing” i hope you understand x

[Survivor4Ever]

See we all are all here to listen to you and give you support if that’s what you want. I’ve had suicidal thoughts before. We change, circumstances change and so do things. I’m sure anyone of us wouldn’t mind if you needed to message us if you’d like. Please remember how priceless you are! And can not be replaced by anyone else. You are one of a kind. No one can take your place. There’s only one unique creation of you!

[Hidden in reply to Survivor4Ever]

I don’t know how to private message some one .

[Hidden]

I don’t know what to do . I’m drowning in my thoughts .