3 days ago my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me. She didn’t even talk to me about it. She messaged me and said she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I asked can we at least talk first and she said no. I felt like things were going great which is why it’s so devastating to me. I have no way to contact her anymore so there is no resolving anything. A part of me wants to try to mend our relationship some how but another part of me knows that I should move on. I am really depressed about it and have had thoughts of suicide. A day after it happened I contacted the 988 hotline and after that I felt a little better. I am reaching out to a therapist today to setup a consultation and hopefully consistently seeing one can help me heal. I hope in time I can find someone else but that will be hard for me because I have difficulty socializing with others.
My First Breakup: 3 days ago my... - Anxiety and Depre...
My First Breakup
sorry to hear that at least you are seeking some support closer to home and here as well.Can you write to her maybe if you cant reach her another way.
I could I just don’t know if it will do any good. She didn’t seem to want to talk about it when she did breakup with me. I think I will try though.
if you don`t try you`ll never know and if you don`t get a reply it`s best you move on from her.
Ok thank you I will try.
Hello and Welcome. I am glad you came here for support.
Hi
Do you want to talk?
Sure I’m just a little awkward at times.
That is ok. Do you want to talk about that or just something else to take your mind off of it. Totally up to you.
I kind of want to talk about my thoughts
I will listen. What are your thoughts?
Well I’m really heart broken after the breakup and how she did it felt like our almost 3 years of being together meant nothing. We didn’t even talk about it beforehand. She just randomly texts without saying a word to me that she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. She still wanted to be friends but I told her that wouldn’t work because of how I feel about her.
I think it is good that you know yourself well enough to know that will not work for you. Were you able to schedule with the therapist yet or have you not reached them yet? Who do you have for support in your life? Any family or friends?
I have a consultation with one today. I have my mom and friend for support.
Oh good I am glad you have your consult today and that you have your mom and friend for support. I am so glad you are not all alone.
I’m glad I’m not alone too. If I didn’t have them I don’t know what I’d do.
Well now you have us here too.
Hey, I'm so sorry. It hurts as hell. Proud of you for seeking help through therapist, hotline and here. Give her some time. My first and only boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me in march, saying he's not satisfied with this relationship. I reached out to him a week ago. He was cutesy and dropped he's leaving the country. I said how could he just drop that, he said he thought I didn't care, he moved on in his head and thought so did i because it took me long to message. I was scared f him breaking up with me. He made me sick. I reached out to him to tell him, he made me sick, he said goodbye. This guy broke up with me at least 10 times... Give yourself and her a few days. She might try to contact you, also the pressure is high rn and even if you contact her, won't help. Be sincere, no games and avoid what she hated. You can try sending a meme that reminds you of her, at least that's what i do. But do it with clear mind. Take your time to calm. If she's mean, take off the rose glasses, grieve your relationship, ask your therapist and more people what they think. It helped me. Also maybe she broke up with you because of herself not you. I was blaming myself, thinking he broke up with me because i was distant. But i think he broke up with me because he just loves drvgs more than me. And that's not someone to continue fighting for. Maybe she has her reasons. When we girls are distant, we know something is not okay. Our intuition is high but not all have the emotional intelligence to know what exactly is the issue. She needs to figure it out. I know you deserve an explanation. So do i l. Instead i hot blame and cruelty, blaming me for texting too far from our breakup. Like bro you broke up with me, if i text you im playing on thin ice. Thinking about it it's maybe just his own trauma and problems.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really helps me cope with mine when I know other people are experiencing similar things to mine.
You're never alone
breakups are hard, but know this, you find someone waaay better who really deserve you. The breakup will hurt but not forever... Cry as much as you want, try going out and talk to someone, the pain will soon subside.
Hi, I am very sorry to hear that. A month ago a almost 2 years old relationship disappeared from my life too. It was also my first breakup, but we ended on good terms and are still friends, even though while breaking up I was always trying to save things and make it work and he only said "I am tired of loving you, so I don't want that anymore". If I can give you an advice, it would be to try and write her (like someone said before me). You could take a piece of paper and write on it everything you feel. I think she should know how her actions made you feel. If you want to move on, I can share with you what helped me. First, making a list of all the things that didn't work in the relationship. Second, (as you did), looking for someone to talk to (it could be friend, family, therapist, here, it doesn't matter). Then I encourage you to start thinking about the future. Everything happens for a reason and that's something I guarantee you. You have so many beautiful things comming for you! And if you are meant to be, one day, when you are both ready, you will fall in love again. And this time forever. Or you will both find true love in someone else. But you will be so happy. I know it's hard right now, it hurts bad and we feel miserable. But I can suggest that you write that letter and if she replies with answers, maybe it would be easier for you. But if she doesn't, then it would be time to really move on, because you don't deserve to be hurting because of someone else. I am sure you are an amazing person and I wish you all the best and a lot of joy and luck. You can write to me any time and I will try to do my best to respond as fast as possible, if you want to talk about something.
there might of been some red flags you missed and learning to be happy with yourself is so important..and i use my faith in God so i know i always have someone who loves me forever..cant count on people in this cruel world..it good you move on and ger help ..glad your doing that..i am sure you find someone soon..just guard your heart!!
Ghosting is bad for many reasons, but the removal of your right to reply is possibly the cruelest. Look at it this way, would you want to commit to someone who treats you like this? You are worthy of so much more, and you will be better in time, I promise.
Don't hesitate to get the support you need. Everyone goes through these sorts of things, so you won't struggle to find an empathetic ear. Also, remember, it really was not you, so take it as a lesson and hold your head up.
As tempting as it is, I'd avoid even attempting contact - they have made their position clear, so for your own dignity, I'd recommend you respect that.
Genuinely wishing you all the best. You deserve and will find something better.
Excellent reply, & I hope he takes your advice. The person that broke up with him doesn't even have the decency, or courage to, at least, have a conversation with someone who she has been in a close relationship for three years. Doesn't take away the pain, but I hope he finds someone worthy of him!
I’m so sorry for your pain. Breaking up is hard at any age, but if it’s your first it’s probably even harder. And hard to accept that it just might be for the best in the long run; you don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you anymore; I promise that. Your girlfriend (ex) probably just took the easy way out by texting you, the easier coward’s way, because she may not have had the words. If it’s meant to be, you’ll end up back together at some point; if not then you are surely better off trying to move on. I’m sorry; grieve the loss but know there are probably a lot of women out there that also deserve the chance to have relationship with you. Best of luck, I’ll be praying for healing of your heart. 🙏🏻
I am so sorry about your breakup. As others here have said, it is best not to continue with someone who treats you like this. And I am glad you got a therapist. That literally was a life saver for me in 2018. Hope you are doing better now.
Based on your description, I would say that if she has treated you this way, it is probably not worth going after her. I get the sense that she would not be a very compassionate or trustworthy girlfriend. You are doing the right thing and seeking professional help to deal with this and I think that you will come out of it stronger.
Sorry about that. She should have at least speak with you first. I'll advise you give her time. Maybe, she will change her mind.
It’s hard what you are going through, “The first cut is the deepest.” Your heart is broken, but hearts mend and if your destiny is not with this person then better end it now. Although it seems like your world is falling apart, keep strong. You were ok before you met her and you will be ok again. Give it time. You were not meant to be with her. There is someone out there who is waiting for you and who is your true, forever love. Someone who loves you, just as much as you love them. Not one sided. Put this behind you as a learning curve. The best is yet to come and l speak from experience.
your first break up is always gonna hurt you the most your first love and the one you popped your cherry with it’s some thing we all go through I remember mine it’s a long time ago but you will be fine do not even think about suicide over a break up in a relationship just learn from it no person on earth is worth you doing that you will meet some one else over time and then look back and think why was I so messed up over a woman you won’t do it again good luck remember you will be ok Gingerbread man👍
Good for you for calling 908. Hang in there. It's tough now but it will get better. I know from experience. All the best.
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