I moved relatively recently. In some ways, I'm proud of how far I've come. But the bottom line is that I'm single and don't have many friends. Occasionally I'll hype myself up enough to attend a book club or go to church, but more often than not I find myself so depressed from the loneliness I have too difficult a time actually showing up for myself. It takes time and commitment to build relationships, and I worry I'm not strong enough to put in the effort to change.
I have a few family members and friends in town, but they all have partners. As much as I appreciate their presence in my life, I feel unseen by them in a lot of ways as a single person. They don't recognize that I don't have anyone to talk to at the end of the day. I don't have anyone to share what I'm experiencing with. They don't understand that grabbing dinner every couple of weeks is literally the highlight of my life and I experience genuine pain when they cancel. I crave connection. I know there's a deficit. I just don't quite know how to fix it.
