I always hate the feeling of loneliness, I know all of us struggle with that at some point or all the time currently. I just wish I can get out there meet people, make friends or have a wife someday. My social phobia makes these things impossible and I try to manage to stay by myself but then I sometimes have those days where I have a meltdown, I feel I'm just to different from others, my Anxiety kept me in a shell and idk have to break free.I don't give up trying but you know there are those days where it gets to me. I suppress my loneliness as much as I can.
I'm sorry I'm sounding very depressing and sad right now and being very vulnerable. I'm just tired of feeling lonely. God gives me tremendous strength through out the years and I'm not perfect that's why I struggle with feeling alone.
I'm sorry if this sounds to sad, but I needed to get this off my chest.
Thank you for whoever took the time to read all of this.
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Shield_Of_Faith
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You do not have to be sorry or apologize. Loneliness is one of the most common problems on this site. You have come to the right place. Have you tried therapy or antidepressants? Are there any things you do to try to work on your shyness? I am talking about baby steps. If you can think of some baby steps that might be a good way to start working on the problem. For example can you stop and get a cup of coffee and just force yourself to say "hi" to the barista? You would then repeat this a number of times until you feel completely comfortable doing it and then add another tiny step such as saying hello to the mailman, etc. x
Thank you i appreciate that.Yeah I've tried therapy for years with many different ones and I've tried different meds but they didn't do much for me in the long way.
And the thought of saying Hi to even one individual is just to much for my social phobia. My social anxiety is just so strong for so many years.
I just can't do it. That's why I feel so stuck in this shell of anxiety.
I try little by little to go out rarely even but I always find myself staying by myself. I'm sorry again if this is to sad to hear but I appreciate you reaching out.
Yes, posting gives me anxiety too. I also understand the loneliness, as I am also lonely. In my case it is largely due to the death of my husband. When I lost him I lost the fabric of my life and it is hard to recreate it.
I understand, I pray that day by day you start to get stronger and move forward, of course you'll remember your husband but also keep moving forward to , it's not easy but we try right? Every day we all try.We may have different situations of pain and hurt but we can keep trying our best everyday to keep moving forward and find happiness in life, even the little things, even when it's really hard to see now. But I hope for all of us.
I am posting this as I am going through the loss of my Sig. Other who passed away last Nov. I, completely, understand the feelings of Aloneness since my Sig. Other passed. He was my Anchor, My Person, my Everything. Yes, I had & have friends; but, he was MY GO TO Person that I shared SO much with, & perhaps relied too much on him for emotional support. Like I said, I do have friends & they give support when they can ; but no one can recreate what I had with him. My family lives far away & emotionally they are Not there anyway --long story. I don't particularly have Social Anxiety, but, I am not an outgoing person by nature --I would describe myself as a Friendly Introvert so it is harder for me to reach out & but I am learning that the Only way to get your needs met is to do the things you fear like making that contact --volunteering, taking a class, calling someone, etc. Of course, it's not easy & while I write this I need to take my Own advice. I hope that I have helped a little just knowing that we are Not alone.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry the pain you have and I hope you feel better overtime, little bit each day. Thank you for replying and making me feel less alone. 🙂
Thank you for your reply, as well. You seem to be a very sensitive & caring person. I am hoping that you will keep trying to ease the loneliness by taking the steps to connect as you have on this site. Next, to try out there in person --Yes, that's a Big step. There will be people glad to meet you. There may be some people who aren't interested --but, not to take personally as one never knows what another person may be going through & maybe just needs to be alone & so may not be interested to connect. Again, volunteering, taking classes that interest you, joining organizations of interest --ways to meet others who are perhaps just as lonely as you & would So welcome you into their lives. Glad I made you feel a little less alone.
I just always feel no one will accept me. It's just always a feeling I have, I'll try here and there still but that inferior feeling just remains in my mind and I see it in person because of my social phobia I just can't be myself at all around people in person I want to but can't, idk but thank you for your kind words.🙂👍
U R Very welcome. Just keep practicing --it takes time to change one's view on themselves especially if that view has been born of a negative one maybe from parents, or siblings, or self. Not easy, but keep trying.
You might also want to read the post just below yours, as that person seems to have a A very similar problem. One baby step might be to answer his post as you both have a lot in common. Try it!
Loneliness is a special kind of pain and unfortunately becoming far too common. I can see some self-doubt and negative self-talk in your and that's fine... though I wouldn't limit yourself by saying things like "I can't do this", "this is impossible", it might not be easy but your goals are reasonable and possible.
I am glad you find strength in a higher power, that can serve you well. Church can be a great way to meet folks!
I know your right, but I don't have alot confidence in myself so to think positive about "I can do it!" I just remember who I am and feel no one cares when I'm around.I was kinda always with people like I was just there, no one worth there time. I went to church today for mothers day, I was very anxious the whole time even though it is always beautiful there and the awesome people there all the time but I went for my mom and my brother since he was singing on stage. But after church people were leaving and I see my mom talking with everybody and my brother chatting with all his friends. I'm happy they get to do that and it really is a church for of wonderful blessed poeple! But then there is just me........my social phobia keeps me from meeting someone or having friends. Nobody's problem but my own. Nobody's fault but my own. I wish I had the chance to be more friendly and open and not so quiet and panicky.
Yeah I've tried in-person anxiety group therapy in the past. Everybody had anxiety just like me....but I was the only quiet one again. After a week and a half I stopped going. I know that was very short lived but I just couldn't get the words out. My anxiety really is that severe.
I'm sorry, I hear you... my agoraphobia is pretty bad and I'm sure I sound like I'm making excuses when I talk about it. It's hard, but I force myself to go out a little bit at a time and gain some exposure and confidence, and then the cold weather returns and I hide inside 😂
Sorry to interfere with the conversation, but indeed we share many personality traits.To share some experience, my whole social life consists of attending a chess club. I joined in September because my son insisted. It is one hour per week every Monday—and it is increasingly challenging to go in there. I barely say three words to other participants. I am by far the quietest in the room. If I weren't there, nobody would notice it. It pretty much summarizes my previous attempts at overcoming my difficulties: painful, scary, and ultimately useless. I think it is now too late for me.
It may not be too late for you, you just need to find your own way to compromise and find progress. I understand how frustrating that can be when you keep trying different things year after year. People can defeat their phobias and anxiety, it's just monumentally difficult in a way most folks just don't understand. It's great that you've been trying to continually go to these events
l have just read your post. I am a Christian and maybe God led me here. You are such a handsome young man. I have a deep seated fear of being alone, but as Jesus says in the written word “l will not leave you as orphans, l will come to you.” “I will never leave you or forsake you.” There is someone out there who will help you (God has his labourers). I don’t know if you go to church, or if you can get to church but perhaps you could write to a pastor of the church and explain your situation. As Christians we carry each other’s burdens. Somewhere out there is a true Christian who will be only to pleased to help you because they will be doing it for Jesus as much as for you. It will take time but little by little Jesus he will get you through. Nothing is impossible for Him. He loves you unconditionally. I am going to pray for you that Jesus will fill you with his Holy Spirit and give you his strength. “Have l not commanded you, be strong and of good courage for the Lord thy God is with you wherever thou goest.” Think about this. Ask Jesus to help you. Ask in his name and he will do it. God Bless you.
Thank you I appreciate the compliment but I always feel self conscious about how others view me. And I'm always praying to the Holy Spirit and that's how I got this far in life I maybe have a lot of struggles in my life but God has always been there because so many situations I was in could have been worse but God saved me.God Bless you too. 🙏
God has a great plan for your life. A plan to give you hope and a future. Don’t worry what other’s think, only worry what God thinks. You are very precious to him and a gift. Trust in him, he is faithful. He has his quiet ones and loves a humble heart. The last shall be first. He will make you the head and not the tail. Those who wait on him will not be disappointed. You will be in my prayers.✝️🙏❤️
I feel very lonely at times too. I have that feeling of awkwardness, like I don't fit in sometimes. I'm trying to make friends, but it's hard to find a real friend, everyone is so busy. But I keep trying. I found a smaller church where I could get to know people better and joined a couple of Bible studies. I also joined some hiking groups on Meetup. Do you have any hobbies or interests where you can find a Meetup group to join? Another good thing is to volunteer to help at church or other organizations. It will make you feel good to help others and will help you get to know some people. Keep praying and ask God to show you what to do. God bless you!
I've tried going to church and only went to this thing that the church has at night every week that are a group get together and talk about God and our struggles.Every time I went which wasn't alot at all. I was quite and I just couldn't talk idk I feel I have an a inferior complex or something, if I said that right and used it right. I mean I just feel I'm nothing compared to others and no matter how much I try I can't be a guy to have anybody. Idk. But thank you for replying! God Bless you too!
I forgot to mention, try looking up Therapy In a Nutshell and Dr. Tracey Marks on social anxiety. They have some great guidance on this!
I get lonely and can spend 5 days not speaking to anyone outside of the phone and WhatsApp I also get really bad social anxiety and also don't let people near to me emotionally, this weekend I walked to the most remote place I could and just spent time alone so I am my own worst enemy
I prayed for you after reading your post. It impacted me and I have had similar feelings and struggles.
Loneliness , I hate your stinking guts!
You are brave to keep trying and I urge you to keep reaching out on this site. Even if you just have a brief message, stay connected here.
You are likely a great person and the world is missing out by not experiencing what you offer. I know the feeling of being on the outside looking in and being unable to reach others. Many folks here have felt what you are feeling. Many will benefit from the courage of your openness by knowing they are not alone in their plight.
I know it is so hard but any step you can make no matter how small is valuable.
Stay with us here. I know many are praying for you. I have been told many times you have to face your fear to overcome it. It is true but it doesn’t make it any easier to know that. I have had many many failures trying to face fear on those occasions when I do try. However, I have had a few successes.
Again, I was greatly moved by your comments. God bless, heal and strengthen you. I wish you joy.
Thank you so much! I try my best to want to help others as well as myself, it goes both ways. I do the best I can.Again thank you for the prayers and the nice words! 🙏👍
I would suggest trying to find an online group that has similar interests to yours in your area (Facebook has a lot of these), and then try going going out for a very short time to an event to meet others. An activity, such as hiking or game playing, may make it easier to overcome your social anxiety since you can focus on the activity itself. Plan to only stay for a little while the first time. Then, slowly, as you get to know people and become more comfortable, you can stay longer. You can also choose activities where only a small number of people are planning to attend. Book clubs are another possibility. I used to run an online social group, and we had a number of couples and marriages come out of it, even though the main focus wasn't on matchmaking. Good luck!
I appreciate the advice. That is something to think about idk if I can do it. My social phobia has been so strong for so long. I want to do those things fun activities with people but my Anxiety gets in the way. Thanks for reaching though! I appreciate the suggestion.
Your not sounding or saying anything out of the norm,I suffer as well loneliness, then when I get around others I wanna be alone,kinda a mess but.i never fit in and I'm 60 now,so it's more awkward meeting folks and I still feel young and can't except I'm 60..I don't wanna be a stick in the mud...try getting hobby they help..this is great place to vent and explain your feelings alot great people here....YOUR NOT ALONE, it just feels that way...
Your welcome,I knowbthe feelings of loneliness, I had to cometh south florida bto care for my elderly mom,then my brother took his own life,it's hard and lonely here,I despise florida but it could be worse..could always be worse as humans I think alot of us forget how lucky and fortunate we are despite loneliness etc..I know.....best wishes to you on your journey...
I'm sorry, I'm praying that you have strength and that your mother is ok and I'm sorry for your loss. And your right, even in my situation of anxiety struggles and loneliness it could always be worse. I pray things get better for you one day at a time. 🙏
Hey glad you posted..If you feel less lonely when you go to groups and sit there quietly then I say continue to go. People are so wrapped up in their own thing they probably don't even notice. And if there are people judging you for that you don't want them as friends anyway. Most people are self centered and would enjoy someone who's quiet so they can talk about themselves all they want.I too suffer with low self-esteem. I think that's where the problem lies. Setting smaller realistic goals and being proud of our self for those accomplishments. Watching your self talk and realizing that depression/anxiety is making it negative.
Other people have no idea what strength it takes to go out when you feel like you do. You are an absolute Warrior. You're obviously sensitive and insightful. Concentrate on your good qualities. Everyone has flaws even the people you think have it all together.
Thank you for responding! I'm happy you and so others understand. I'm trying to hang in there. I try here and there to go out but it's not often.And yes It's takes everything just to leave my front door of my house and I mean everything, to other people it's nothing but to people with so strong anxiety like me it takes everything.
First off stop apologizing for unloading here. This is the point of a support group. to unpack things into the light of day and let other people critique your feeling. We all have walked a different path, and seen things from different perspectives. Then hopefully we can repack things with a new definition and grow from it. At least that is why I am here. And at the very least you'll see you are not alone in feeling alone.
I know and I appreciate it. I just get nervous if I'm being to much with letting everything out. I just feel I'm being annoying sometimes. Idk my insecurities I guess.
I can relate. No one is forcing people to read your posts, if they get annoyed, that's on them. If you are feeling insecure it's a sign that you are doing it right, if you don't push on the door it will never open.
Hi! Shield- Of- Faith,I could feel your pain & felt heart sorry for you. Loneliness is a big problem in society now, C.O.V.I.D. had a lot to do with it. Do you suffer from Agoraphobia? do you live in a flat, you have to put yourself out there, nothing will happen if you stay at home.
Tell God you want to meet someone & he will help you, I am relieved you have him in your life. I will pray,for you thats all the help I can offer. Bless you.
Thank you for understanding. And true but I was always alone and had social phobia and having loneliness issues years before covid happened. Yeah agoraphobia is one of my other problems.I know I live with my brother and he and my mother says the samething that I have to get out there but my social phobia has been with me for so many years. I'm in a rock and a hard place, I want to get out there but my anxiety and emotions won't let me. I try to get out there on very rare occasions but I can't do it consistently, it's just to hard.
I've seen many doctors and taken different medications over the years.
Nothing really worked for long. Idk I pray one day. I've been blessed in many different aspects of my life that God helped me through. But my anxiety is still here. I don't blame God. I'm just holding onto hope. It's gotten me this far.
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