Loneliness

[sandphoenix80]

I'm so lonely. Even though I'm married I am more lonely now than ever. I was happy when I was single except my roommate that sucked off of me and ate my food. I have no more friends. No family in state that are not insane. I jus hate my life and don't know what's wrong with me that I don't have any friends. Everybody has at least one except for me. They have all screwed me over a lot and horribly. I did so much to help them but it was not Reciprocated. My husband doesn't even answer me when I talk he doesn't listen or care so I don't even bother anymore. If I didn't have my pets I prob would have tried to OD again cuz I'm so lonely it's never Gonna change.

[Hidden]

How do you think things got to this point?

[Hidden]

There’s nothing wrong with you first off. I can keep friends. I’m married too and at times feel very very alone. Not sure though sometimes though I isolated myself so many times it became a self filling prophecy in my case. But sometimes I like it but it’s never too late. Just know you are not alone. We are here for you

[sandphoenix80]

I don't know it's always been like this. I've always been a loner. it's just to the extreme now, and I was sick of everybody walking all over me for my whole life and always screwing me over including my dad that I let go of the toxic people which left me alone.

[Hidden in reply to sandphoenix80]

Maybe you need time yet to heal the wounds from the toxic people? Those kinds of people can take a toll on you.

[sandphoenix80 in reply to Hidden]

Maybe I don't know I'm so confused

[Hidden]

Things can change when we change. I found nothing positive about your post...maybe that’s a problem...positivity breeds positivity. Work on loving yourself first. Positive affirmations, my friend!! 🌺

[sandphoenix80 in reply to Hidden]

That's because there is nothing positive in my life or myself

[Hidden in reply to sandphoenix80]

I must differ with you on that! There are positives in your life and yourself! You’re not acknowledging them for some reason. Search if you must...they’re there! Open your mind to the possibilities. Take a leap of faith. Negativity will eat you alive...

[Guardianangel1]

When you attempt to address your husband to let him know your feelings is he receptive towards your emotions?

[sandphoenix80 in reply to Guardianangel1]

He says nothing every time. He never listens to me or answers me when I talk to him and how rude and hurtful and crappy it makes me feel. I've had the same argument every week at least once if not more. It's pointless to talk to him it does nothing.

[Hidden in reply to sandphoenix80]

If you don't mind me asking, how long were you married before his behavior changed?

[sandphoenix80 in reply to Hidden]

Not long I don't remember exactly we've had a lot go on since we got married his mom died I lost my job and insurance and I got sick had to have 2 surgeries

[Hidden in reply to sandphoenix80]

You guys sound ripe for couples counseling. If he's otherwise a decent guy, then it's very possible that all the stuff that's happened to you both has just thrown things off. Couples counseling could help you put it back together or, if not, help you let it go before you and he have spent years and years miserable.

Please don't blame yourself for this. Stuff happens to people in life and we can't always deal with how we feel about that stuff. But lots of times people need expert help to figure out what to do next.

(If you've already tried counseling and it "didn't work," please find a different counselor and try again.)

[Hidden]

I try not to feel ashamed because I have no girlfriends to hang out with. I am bewildered why your husband doesn't answer you when you talk. Have you tried speaking louder to make a point to him.

[sandphoenix80 in reply to Hidden]

I do feel ashamed and I feel like a total loser. I have yelled and spoke louder too and he jus says "ok I heard you stop yelling" and I tell him he never try's to comfort me or anything

[Hidden]

I had people like that in my life. I just cut them out because they tried to make me feel like I wasn't lovable. I'm glad I found this board because I can talk about things and get responses.

[sandphoenix80 in reply to Hidden]

Same here--when you severely abused as a child and again as an adult you let toxic no good people in your life cuz you don't know to make healthier relationships. I cut all the bad out and now I have nothing. And Me too most of the responses make me feel a lil better and a couple make me feel worse. I'm here if you need to talk.

[Hidden]

Have you mentioned hobbies? I know it's hard when depressed but creative/art therapy could help. This way you won't have to rely on people so much. And you mentioned pets, they give unconditional love I heard. Last night I got a bit of relief listening to live meditation music.

[quieturban]

I’m so sorry. Hope things are better now. Any kids ?