Depressed anxiety and unhealthy relationship

So I've been having a hard time with my boyfriend watching porn to me it cheating and to him it's not but I get extremely hurt when he watches it I have very low self-esteem and huge trust issues considering he has messaged girls and asked for pictures from then how do I just stop caring about the porn ?

[Hidden]

This is awful and I wouldn't put up with it for a minute. I presume there is some porn for women so ask him if he would like you to do the same and message other men?

Or try going on fb and let him catch you messaging men and asking for their pictures. I think he would soon stop this disgraceful behaviour. It is extremely disrespectful to you and you are right to object to it.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

He wouldn't give me the same chance I have given him he would instantly throw me out and I do want to be with him we talked this morning about the porn I found a great article that explains why porn is cheating and he's not happy with it but I explained that it's cheating and our relationship will go no where if this behavior doesn't stop I know I'm not in the wrong so I don't feel bad anymore for asking him of this but he takes it way to far saying stuff like I'll just do what I want to make u happy and I'll stop having friends so I'm always here for u but that's not what I'm asking I'm asking for us to be 100% faithful to each other I could never put him in a situation that makes him feel like I do in any kind of way all I ask of him is that same respect

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

And accepting his double standards? Have you asked him why it is different for him then? But at the end of the day its your choice what to accept in your relationship. I can only tell you what I think.

[JC2315 in reply to Hidden]

I have been in that same situation before and felt that same way. My now ex-husband would look at porn as well and it made me feel bad about myself, about my appearance, ect. I felt like I alone wasn't enough, that I simply "didn't do it for him", and didn't satisfy him. I felt bad and I also felt like it was a form of cheating. He also said it wasn't cheating and that I'm rediculous for thinking that. He said it's completely normal and everyone does it. I asked him to stop, I told him it made me feel bad, and we had a few debates/arguements about it. If he truly loved me and cared about my feelings, then he would have stopped. If he ever came to me and expressed that something I was doing or saying was hurting him, bothering him or making him feel bad and he asked for me to stop doing it... I WOULD...because I love my husband and I care about his feelings. I may disagree with him, but I would still respect his wishes and his request for me to stop. He needs to care about your feelings and if he doesn't, that ought to tell you something. Being in a relationship shouldn't be a one way street or a double standard. If he wants to keep the porn so bad, why doesn't he just be in a relationship with it... he doesn't need a girlfriend, he doesn't know how to treat one. Don't let his actions define your self-worth or self-esteem. Don't allow him to make you feel bad for having feeling or for having beliefs. Love yourself more and KNOW that you deserve better. I know you like him and I know you want it to work out. I felt the same way in my marriage, but along with him watching the porn and messaging other (women/friends) came the cheating...actual physical cheating. It wasn't because of my appearance. It wasn't because I wasn't doing my wifely duties, it wasn't because I was doing anything wrong. He was selfish, narcissistic and his appetite was larger than any on woman could fullfill. Don't cut yourself short and don't be naive to certain signs, signals, and red flags.

[Hidden in reply to JC2315]

Thank you jc2315 I agree on how it makes u feel it's horrible but I won't tolerate it I can't I have been through alot in my past relationships and have enough self esteem issues I don't need to add on anymore especially from the Man am truly inlove with and yes I dunno why guys don't think it's cheating because it is and it becomes a addiction it's also a relationship killer

[Saffy1999 in reply to Hidden]

I can understand porn but certainly NOT asking other women for pictures. Thin end of the wedge honey. Get rid.

[Clazzy78]

Hiya.

I'd like to say personally I think there is a HUGE difference between watching pornography and messaging women and sending pictures.

Pornography I have no issue with at all.

I would have an issue with my man messaging and sending pictures to women.

Why does him watching pornography worry you so much?

You could try and find pornography that you both enjoy? Is it something you've watched yourself before?

[Hidden in reply to Clazzy78]

I have tried and as I've said in my previous comments i believe it's cheating and all it does is upsets me also it pushes his interests away from me

[Clazzy78 in reply to Hidden]

Fair enough. Some people, men or women don't like pornography.

If it does upset you and he has no intention to minimise or stop or acknowledge your feelings that is bad.

Best wishes, hope you get it sorted 💗

[Hidden]

Thank you

[sklema]

Have been in the same boat and have had the same feelings.If he truly lives you and wants to make you feel lived,appreciated,and secure he will stop whether he finds it ridiculous or not. And not to mention shouldn't your happiness be more important then some paid actors and a cheap thrill anyway? Good luck

[a-lynn]

I am going through something similar. Porn was never an issue to me when you bought or rented it like any other movie. Now online it's everywhere and interactive; making the line between fantasy and reality way too thin for my taste. I don't have advice, I'm still trying to find an answer myself, but you're not alone.

[Justswimming]

Get a new boyfriend that respects you. Do something that increases your self esteem like joying a gym and exercising. Don't stay with someone that makes you feel undervalued.

[MaggieSue1]

i was depressed for a really long time because i married the man i thought was the love of my life. We were married 6 years. A year and hald into the relationship he became a completely different person, he even went ahead and rub his infidelities in my face sometimes and when i try to tell my friends about it they don't always believe me because he pretends a lot when they're around. So i decided to get the truth out myself, i contacted BIRDEYE.HACK at GMAIL.COM and i got real-time access to his entire phone for a reasonable fee.

It was then i was able to prove to my friends and family how much of a bad person he is. I was able to leave the marriage peacefully and with our only daughter with me due to the dirt i got on him. All thanks to Birdeye!

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