I NEED SUPPORT

[Phoenix-africa]

I'm just here to rant and hopefully seek support from people who've gone through the same. I was emotionally abused by my own family and it drove me to depression. I almost committed suicide 4 times but thankfully I never went through with it. Part of me wanted to live maybe that's why I held on. I dropped out of college because of depression.

I don't know how but I left depression on my own even with my entire family against me. I'm the black sheep of the family. They gang up on me and many times I've found them saying despicable things about me. I was happy, jovial, cheerful, social and talkative before depression. After depression I changed. Now I'm cold, distant and I prefer being alone.

I went back to school and finished the courses I had left and god-willing I will graduate this year. I still live with my abusive family because I don't have a job yet and I can't leave. They are still abusing me but I believe depression made me stronger because now I'm immune to their abuse and thank God I never went back to depression after I healed.

I got myself out of depression while still living with my abusive family and despite still living with them I've never fallen back into depression. It's hard but I'm still holding on. I see myself as a walking miracle.

I just wanted some support and encouragement from people who have been through the same as me and won't judge. I am graduating this year god-willing and I hope to find a job, save money and leave this abusive family for good because I believe I deserve to be be happy after many years of sadness and grief.

[Phoenix-africa]

Thank you for your support. Sometimes strangers offer the support you will never get from your own flesh and blood. Sending love your way 💗💗💗💖

[Hidden]

Hi, I understand about abusive parents. I grew up with verbal and physical abuse and sexual abuse throughout my whole childhood. My parents have done so much damage to me and my sisters. I had depression and anxiety as a child. It can drag you down in so many ways. It must be really hard to live with them. In my experience it’s been so hard to put it all behind me. I had very little memory of portions of my childhood. I finally went to a counselor when my girls were teens. I understand and I appreciate you sharing your story. Unfortunately,as an adult, I have chronic pain and need anxiety medication and antidepressants. Just yesterday I had to fight through a depression fog. It’s dark and lonely place to be. You deserve to be happy and relaxed and I hope today and every day gets better for you.

[Phoenix-africa in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your support and for sharing your story. I sincerely hope you get the happiness you so truly deserve 💗💗💗

[Phoenix-africa]

Thanks for sharing and for your words of encouragement. You are a source of inspiration. I know one day I will be able to be financially independent and move far away. I truly wish you the best. 💖💖💖💗

[bethelbee]

Have you considered alternative treatment other than meds? After decades of meds I became treatment resistant to them. My therapist recommended TMS(Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) and it has really helped me. It's a noninvasive treatment that uses magnetic pulses targeting a part of the brain to reduce/eliminate depression. Treatment is typically 5x/wk for 6-7 weeks with each session about 20 minutes. It's a big time commitment but well worth it if successful. As with any treatment results vary and for some it doesn't work but does have a high rate of success.

[PhoebeAgora in reply to bethelbee]

Yes! TMS worked for me as well. Went two decades without depression after treatments. But then . . depression and agoraphobia returned a few years ago. Still, I had a good twenty years and am grateful for that.

[bethelbee in reply to PhoebeAgora]

20 years is a long time!! I was grateful for the two 6 month stretches I had before this longer one. I have had some down times but that's due to several health and medical issues I've been dealing with. Without TMS I would have probably really spiraled.

[Chatwin88]

It takes so much courage to do what you are doing now, and you are doing it! It sounds like you are making the right choices to go back to school, which will eventually lead you to opportunities where you can get out of that house. It sounds like the environment at home is not healthy at all and the more space you can make between yourself and it is the better. Don't give up and keep going. It will get better.

[Phoenix-africa in reply to Chatwin88]

Thanks for your kinds words. Sometimes words of encouragement are all we need to persevere and move forward. Sending love your way💖💖💖💗

[bethelbee]

I hope it's available for you soon! I had 3 rounds. The positive results of the first two each lasted about 6 months and the 3rd is still working after over 2 years. It literally saved my life at one point. Wishing you the best!

[LuvScooby]

thanks for sharing. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, but it took strength to persevere and continue with college. I wish you well in your future, hopefully won’t be too long till you can move out and begin a new life.

[Phoenix-africa in reply to LuvScooby]

Thank you for your kind words. Hearing words of encouragement even from strangers gives me the motivation and support I need to work hard for my dreams. It really means a lot. Sending love your way 💗 💗💗💖

[Pitalife]

Much support to you, I'm now the sole caregiver of my elderly mom,my brother committed suicide and its been very hard on my mom, my mom and me never seen eye to eye n argued alot,I'm trying very hard to not let that get in the way I'm 60 now and that was long ago,but I see my mom's very caustic depressed person and I'm seeing it's why I was not a great kid,I get dragged down w her life's issues,but now she's in her 80s and lil has changed just says sorry for most things,she's wheelchair bound now and life is tough caring for her but I feel this is meant to be way things played out...it's just the 2 of us left n it's very emotional and confusing time in life but I'm glad I can help her, and pray it goes well, I hope the best for you as family is tough is what I'm trying to say...life's a trip literally...best to you n stay in touch,good group here..

[Phoenix-africa in reply to Pitalife]

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm really sorry about your brother and I hope you're doing better now. You have a really kind and forgiving heart for taking care of your mother despite the past you two share. I wish you all the happiness in the world 💖💖💖💗

[Phoenix-africa]

Thank you for your understanding and kind words. I'll be really happy to connect with you. It's great talking to someone who has been through the same as you. I will check out your posts as well. Wish you all the best and thanks once again. Sending love your way.💗💗💗💗💖

[Phoenix-africa]

Thanks. Sending love your way for your support.💗💗💗💗💖

[Teaching]

I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too. Nobody determines your future but you. I wish you success.

[Phoenix-africa in reply to Teaching]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm blessed to have found this community.💓💓💓❤️💓