I need support

[Emsky]

Hi, first time posting, I've had issues with anxiety and depression for 12 years now. It's gotten to a point where my physical health went downhill, and then once again so did my mental health, it's so debilitating, I remember I used to think how people couldn't work because of this because I could, but now being on the opposite end of the spectrum is hard, my partner keeps telling me to get back into work and that people with mental health issues can wrok, and it's really getting me down as my doctor says I'm unfit for work, and even the benefits system which I'm now on as put me in the unable to work group. My partner has had some mild anxiety issues, and is taken medication and they're helping him and he think because that's how it is with him that it should be the same with me I'm struggling to explain to him

[CanuckAnon]

It is hard coming to terms with not being able to work for whatever reason. It could be that your partner wants you to feel the best u can about yourself so this is why they think working gives u that boost?! I understand that loss of boost. It could also be that partner feels less able to take care of u or solve issue?!

Physical health and mental health are linked. My pain doc has told me we are what we think we are... so basically mindset helps our physical selves.

Great that you are reaching out for support here! This site can be life saving in many respects!! It was for me...😊

[Emsky in reply to CanuckAnon]

He maybe means well but I'll work when I feel fit and ready to, I'm seeing the mental health worker tmrw, my auntie is a support worker and works with people with mental health and she thinks I have bipolar so going to be asking about that tmrw. I just think he thinks because he manages it so well and that tablets make him better they should do the same for me, even when I explained I've had these issues for 12 years he just told me to join the club, as if it's no big deal

[CanuckAnon in reply to Emsky]

Maybe he hasn’t thought it thru, denial perhaps? It could very well be that he has not considered varying degrees of anxiety nor has he considered the cause there of anxiety. I get the working when you are ready... I have found that there are days that make cleaning dishes very hard or even getting dressed. Simple tasks but yet arduous in many ways.

I think having support is great and what a great resource you have with your aunt! There is specific criteria involved w/bipolar so perhaps it may be better to discuss symptoms you are having instead of giving yourself a label based on a guess or could be this type of thing. Only suggesting this because of medication differences when initially prescribing to see what works for you re: bipolar or manic episodes etc.

Another idea would be to include partner in doctors appt so they could ask questions and be told by doc that u and he are different and have differing issues etc...

Make sure to do for yourself though so that you can be in most positive mindset as it will help you deal/cope with what lays ahead. 😊🌷

[Emsky in reply to CanuckAnon]

Yeah I'm seeing my mental health worker tmrw so going to discuss bipolar with him, and see what he says. My partner lives really far away and works away, he doesn't see how bad I get, like when I'm in a suicidal episode, and these days when my auntie phones me she doesn't just leave a message and wait for me to get back to her like she used to, she'll keep calling me until I answer as she's worried I've had one of my episodes and taken my life. Also struggling with money but buying certain things for the sake of it to give me a high then I end up with no money for my bills etc

[CanuckAnon in reply to Emsky]

No need to buy stuff.. it’s about making u feel good... having a warm bath, listening to upbeatish music, taking a walk, doing exercise, taking a break and having a cuppa tea or whatever, enjoying a sunny day. I was not referring to empty retail therapy. Sometimes it can be as simple as getting dressed, brushing hair after getting out of bed.

That’s too bad about partner but perhaps a frank discussion about the good, bad and ugly would help them get full picture of what’s going on so they could be more supportive.

Glad to hear you are gonna talk to mental health worker about it.

[susanjo613]

I can totally relate. I had to start receiving benefits in September because I was no longer able to function at work secondary to depression and anxiety. My friends think that I can just jump right back into work but I cannot. I can’t seem to live day-by-day....it’s almost like minute-to-minute. It’s frustrating and stressful when people don’t understand.

[crowningglory19]

I am sorry you have been dealing with this so long, yes it is draining! What works for your partner may not work for you. Speak positive to yourself and others about your accomplishments and let go of problems or mistakes, the more you focus on them the more others will too. Stress is draining and depletes our magnesium which is needed for stress so I do the following on continual basis. A good multivitamin is great to keep your mental/physical and emotional health up to par. Magnesium is great to calm the mind body and spirit and ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop and to balance out your moods so that will help you a lot with the internal negative voices. Also, getting out in sun is good to get rid of anxiety and increase peace. All living things point toward light and there are reasons for that, we need light. Another thing is helping others, we are fulfilled and improved by helping others so volunteering will increase your self worth and give you something else to focus on that is also positive. Don't complain or bad talk yourself to your co workers, it just puts you in a negative light for them. Trust in yourself and keep on keeping on. <3 Hope these things help you too! =)

[Emsky in reply to crowningglory19]

I have urge bladder and bowel incontinence too, so I like being indoors or somewhere I know I can go to the toilet asap. I already take a multi vitiman and magnesium, I take the magnesium for my fatigue as I can't have caffeine but it doesn't seem to make me feel more awake I know but I mean as in buying something seems to be the only way to get a high I'm also in the process of being assessed for autism, I really don't do well in social situations and avoid them all together

[Hidden]

I've been unable to work for 4 years now, and I'm still having trouble coming to terms with it. Do I work so I feel better, or feel better so I can work?