I just need a home!!!

[Against_the_current]

I have to choose between living with mom and going insane (with the pressure that i have to leave one day anyway or become her babysitter) or dad's appartment that's absolutely ruined, has cockroaches, ants, spiders and mold and memories and drawings on the walls of my half-sibling. My grandparents don't understand because they lived in cottages but i need a healthy place to live. Unfortunately the place is theirs and i can't sell it and buy a smaller appartment but new. I drool watching the new appartments. How am i , a kid without income and experience, supposed to repair dad's appartment?! He ruined it and fleed. He isn't even replying to my texts. And my maternal grandma said "ur dad and his family should have repaired this". Why tell me!? Tell him. I'm just more upset. I need a home. I need a home. God, i need a home😭. Even my therapist said it's pointless to go to therapy if i don't get a safe place

[Alpakka123]

Good morning AtC,A couple questions for you to ponder:

Did your dad specifically tell you to repair the apartment?

What do YOU want to do?

What would you like from us?

What (if anything) would you like to hear us say?

Or would you rather just vent (which is perfectly okay to do)?

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

I need compassion. The apartment is my grandparents'. Dad was just temporarily living there because he divorced out of nowhere. I just want a newly built two room appartment with brand new furniture. And in my neighborhood because im a little agoraphobic, the 24/7 supermarket is here and i would be able to visit my sister and to get food from home. But i can't buy one of these new beautiful appartments being built here and decorate it and have it brand new, without memories of dad, because i don't have the money for that.

[Alpakka123 in reply to Against_the_current]

Oh, I see now. Thanks for explaining.I hope you feel better soon (you said you're sick in one of your latest posts)

[Against_the_current in reply to Alpakka123]

Thank you. Yes, I'm really sick and i worry how mom will react

[Me-my]

hi, I don’t think is very helpful for your therapist to say you need a safe place or else…. Clearly it sounds things are a bit outside of your control. I do hope things get better soon for you. I’m glad you are letting it out rather than not.

[Against_the_current in reply to Me-my]

Thank you. That's why i need him - to vent, but it's not worth the money and him forcing me like that