So I'm asking for some advice on how to help my wife. She has anxiety and depression and it has been pretty bad for most of the past 18 months. Medical and hormonal problems haven't helped the situation. Her biggest stumbling block lately is loneliness. She has no friends and her family does not live nearby. I also have no friends and no family aside from my father. It's not a big issue for me, as I'm kind of an introvert anyway. But she is having a hard time, constantly hearing her coworkers talk about going out with friends.
I was wondering if anyone here has any tips or strategies for meeting new people and making new friends. For context, we are in our 40's and don't have children, so meeting other parents at kids activities is not an option. I am at a loss, I've never been great at this sort of stuff. She is so sad lately and I would give anything to help her even a little bit.
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RupertBrown
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Would your wife be willing to come on here herself so that she can talk with people who understand? I know it isn't as good as in person, but it could help some until she finds in person.
I have considered that in the past. I am fearful that if she joined the community, one or both of us would start censoring our own posts. I know I have shared things on here that I can't share with her. It sounds wierd, I know, but I am not ready to fully disclose my self harm and I feel like my tone with regards to her hasn't always been great in my posts.
That makes total sense. Of course. Are you on all of the related sites too or just Anxiety and Depression Support? Are you on Anxiety Support or Major Depressive Disorder? You probably already are. I was just thinking that if not, you could have her join one of those and each stay on your own site for privacy.
I am just in this group and the CPTSD one. I didn't even realize there were so many, to be honest. That is an excellent idea. I could always go back and scrub my post history as well. I try not to delete old posts, as they serve as a reminder of the progress I have made. Thanks again for the help!
No I don't think you should delete your old posts. Just don't have her come to this site. Have her only join Anxiety Support and/or Major Depressive Disorder then she cannot see your posts and you cannot see hers.
I invited a struggling friend to join hu after I'd found it so helpful. I changed my user name so we could hopefully be anonymous and I told her not to share her username to me . In the end I don't think she pursued it but I definitely felt differently about posting at first when I thought she had become a member. It felt less of a safe space for me. I'm not saying it would be the same for you guys I'm just telling you my experience x I actually would read a random post and wonder if it was her and if I should be worried in real life. It caused me anxiety on top of my usual anxiety 🙈
Thanks for the idea! She had an issue with her pituitary gland and the extent to which it is affecting her is still not clear. She needs to get more blood work done, but it is so expensive. Her mood swings have improved lately, so we are holding off for now. Thanks again for the suggestion.
With the issue of making friends..... hobbies are probably the way to meet like minded people. I have a school age child so my connections with people are usually based around that. Not really out of choice if I'm honest but it's still common ground i guess. And something to bond over. Im not really a people person and rarely come across a real friendship. They do pop up in the most unlikely places though. Hu included 🤗
Think about things that you and your wife like to do. If you like to hike, join a hiking group. If you are religious, join a church. If you are into helping people, help out at a food bank, a homeless shelter, etc. If you like pets, volunteer at an animal shelter. If you are into politics, join a political group. If you like the outdoors, join the Sierra Club. If you like to read, join a book club. Check out the website meetup. There are unlimited opportunities to meet people.
Wow what a sweet husband you are! I don't know if she know it or not but she has the best friend she could ever have right now, you! It's so wonderful that you are trying to help her and I have seen all the suggestions in reply to help. Sorry, maybe it's just me, but when coworkers are talking about plans with friends, they sound single. She should boast about her plans with you. Maybe a romantic weekend getaway, or dinner plans at a nice restaurant.
my wife and I recently joined a volunteer group that helped fill food bags at a large food bank and volunteer at local hospital Not saying we made life long friends but we were out and meeting new people and interacting
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xx
Please help 
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