Need some advice

[msweely]

Hey everyone! So i posted recently how i've been feeling unsure of my friendships and that i'm a burden to them. I talked to a few friends tonight and one friend who I have previously been super close with has been saying negative things about me regarding personal decisions that I make. These decisions have nothing to do with her life or anyone elses besides mine. My friends also told me that she is rude to me in public for no apparent reason whatsoever. I have done nothing but support her and talk to her non judgementally. I asked them (because im paranoid) if it's me and they swear its not. I just dont know if I should talk to this friend who clearly acts like she doesn't want me to be around? What do I say? I just feel like i'm a failure as a friend and a person. I hate disappointing people

[fauxartist]

Your not a failure because you want to have a friend that is kind and up front with you. You just honestly need a better friend. the only one disappointed right now is you and how your friend is treating you. I would just not spend as much time with them, get busy doing other things that are a positive for you. The healthier we get, the better our friendships get. Just know you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness...and if your not getting that from a friend...you do need a better friend.

[msweely in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for the reply! It is just hard because she never used to be this way and now she is. I think i'm going to talk to her and ask her what is going on because I can't live like this anymore, in constant fear that my presence pains her.

[Hidden in reply to msweely]

That's good, do talk to her and clear up any misunderstandings. Hopefully she will be honest and upfront with you. I have hit this path with my best friend, we discussed things, unfortunately we just decided it be better if we just didn't have this type of friendship. Yet we still check up on each other time from time.

[fauxartist in reply to msweely]

it's a good idea to talk to your friend, but don't let yourself get dumped on in the process. Some people project their anger and frustration on those closest to them. And if that's what your friend is doing to you...then it's a good idea to at least ask them what's going on with them to treat you this way.

[AshleyG88]

Your not a failure and you cant people please. It will get you down faster than anything in the world

[gerg]

This brings up the paradox of selfish and selfless. If you put your friends first you are doing it for your own happiness. If you put yourself first your friends will have a better friend and they will be happier. If not, you have taken care and control of yourself and you will get more friends.

[HelpingElbow]

There are two different sides to a story. Often times (I bet you have felt this before), you act in a certain way and you are completely misinterpreted. Maybe you meant good for them, but they thought otherwise. It happens to almost everyone.

Now, back-stabbing you and speaking behind your back is something that your friend has resorted to. Whether it was to hurt you, is something that you shouldn't think about. Because sometimes no matter how hard you try, there are people who will speak ill of you, anyway. It will be better if you don't expect anyone to flatter or praise you. The world is tough. Sweet talk and sugar-coated words can deceive you.

Now the question is, whether she really is your friend or not? Please understand that nobody knows who their true friend is, until the time of despair and adversity.

I would suggest you to stop beating yourself over things that do not even matter at the end. You are not a failure, mind you!

[YoungSimba]

Hi msweely, I’m sorry you have to deal with people like that in your life who act like a friend. It’s really difficult, I had a friend like that and it ended on bad terms but I don’t regret it cause it wasn’t real. I would suggest bringing it up to them if their explanation and you getting things off your chest will make you feel better. But if you don’t think anything will come from it, then just let them go. It sounds like you have other friends to rely on that are actual friends. You are not a failure of a friend, you are a great friend who just wants the same treatment in return. Good luck ❤️