idk what to put as title

[Idont_]

Im doing my first year of college ryt now and like never before I’m struggling to study and failing my classes. I feel like I can still do it before the finals. But another problem is my family. Not so bad Ig. But my brother is not focusing on his studies and my parents are worried that he won’t be able to get into a good college. My mom especially considers me as her therapist. I dont really mind because she doesn’t have anyone to talk to and has been through some pretty traumatic things in her life. But her talking about my brother to me and asking me to guide him is putting a lot of pressure on me. I feel like I’ll explode. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I need help regarding the situation. How do I guide my brother and satisfy everyone all while maintaining my grades. I have been through depression and every time i feel even slightly that my depression is crawling back up. I freak out. I don’t even want to feel like that. I have written up a lot and it probably doesn’t even make sense. Idk

[Shnookie]

I’m so sorry that U R going thru this. Do U have a therapist ? R u on any meds ? I understand the position U hold as the elder brother and being a role model for him. But U must protect yourself as well. Does your university have a mental health center? I’ve had a tendency to try to fix people. It doesn’t always help and can cause you to feel drained. Is there a women’s’ center that can help your mom ? It’s very positive and very brave of you that you have come here for support. We R here 4 U. Please remember that U need to protect yourself. I’m here 4 U S

[LoveforAll41]

Hello Idont. College is when my mental health really went downhill. I would encourage you to see if there is some counseling through the university as Shnookie said. I would also remind you that there is no shame if you have to take some time off school to get your head right. Maybe you could get your brother to get into some therapy too if he would follow your example. Of course you freak out if you feel some depression coming on, it is the worst feeling and you really don't want to slide into it if you can help it. I think it shows that you care for yourself, we just have to turn down the anxiety and panic signals and acknowledge the good parts of the messages they are trying to send us. I wish you peace in your journey ☮️

[blackcat64013 in reply to LoveforAll41]

I can't endorse the use of a student assistance program enough. The program is often called SAP for short.You are be entitled to receive free confidential counselling for all events in your life while a student. The counsellor can assist in getting reasonable accomodations to make your student life much easier and give you a better chance of succeeding in your learning.

Wishing all the best for your future 🐈‍⬛

[Mohammad-341]

Did ur mother clearly said that u need to be guide for her or u just have understood it?

Will u be able to take care of her if u r not well

[silentdreamer20]

Hey. I'm sorry you are experiencing all of this. College can be chaotic and stressful all on its own. I also encourage you to look into the student assistance program, they can be very helpful there. I understand your mom wanting you to be there as a role model for your brother, but it doesn't sound like she knows you feel like you're drowning. I may be alone here, but I feel like you have to help yourself first in this situation. You can check in on everyone, but if your own mental health is suffering you can't help anyone. I do that all the time and it helps others, sure... but it makes me worse because I put everyone else above myself. If I were still in school and doing that I would not be putting my best foot forward. The fact that you are acknowledging that you need a helping hand with this shows that you want to do well and you want to feel better than you're feeling. Please, while you are a student, set up an appointment- or even walk over to the student assistant program and talk to them. See how they can help you and start there. Maybe your brother can start seeing his school counselor for check-ins to help him get back on track and your parents can help him out at home. I wish you well, dear.