New Here! Need advice and people to talk to!

[sna619]

I’ve been struggling with depression for awhile and finally starting going to a therapist and was actually diagnosed with depression. I’ve worked Out a lot of the problems I have but I’m still not better. My brothers an addict so I’ve always struggling with being the “other child” because my parents were always so focused on him. I worked through that with my mom and feel like I can talk to her now. I worked through some other things but today I was literally fine all day and then all of a sudden I snapped and was in the worst mood and just wanted to cry, I have come to my room and started to cry and I just feel so empty and I don’t know what happened. My boyfriend wants to help me but how is he supposed to when I don’t even know how to help myself. I don’t understand what’s going on and what I can do to stay happy, that’s all I want in life!

If anyone has any tips of things I could do to pull myself out of that mood or any idea of why I get like that, I would love to hear people opinions and personal experiences!

Especially if your the sibling of an addict, it’s something I still struggle with but have gotten better with !

[nursingpassion]

Hey!

So I totally get how you feel when you mean you’ve been feeling better and then all of the sudden your in this mood where your crying and what not yet, you’re not sure why.

I feel that way all of the time.

What helps me is I focus on trying to figure out a trigger. There’s always one, but most of the time we just don’t realize it.

I then remind myself that depression is an illness. Most of the time there is a chemical imbalance. It sounds like you just started therapy. Learn from my mistakes and make sure you keep at it constantly. And if your therapist doesn’t work for you anymore or at all, push yourself to find the right fit.

Remember you’re in the beginning stages of managing your depression. Managing and getting rid of are two different things-which means it’s totally okay to get lows out of no where and not being sure why. Talk to your therapist about it so they can keep track on how often it happens.

Lastly, but just as importantly.... remember that therapy is there to help you handle the bad and the pain and disappointment, etc. Therapy is not there to make you happy. That’s your job-which can be so easy to forget. Therapy is there so you can manage things better and help make sure your illness isn’t controlling yourself.

Another tip: Maybe start writing. I was crap at it and slowly got better. But honestly it just helps me not randomly break down.

[JEG325 in reply to nursingpassion]

You can pm me directly too. I may have some useful ideas on how to keep you from being as lonely. Have a blessed day!

[bazham]

Welcome sna! I am new here as well and looking for people to talk with. I’m afraid I don’t have any great words of wisdom tonight but know that you are not alone. I am always willing to listen.

[JEG325 in reply to bazham]

Bazham, you and SNA can always pm me directly. I can talk to you and help you whenever I'm available. A lot of us do that here.

[bazham in reply to JEG325]

Thank you so much JEG. I appreciate that.

[JEG325]

SNA, I have experienced periods like that. If you want to talk about it in depth you can always pm me. I will respond when available. Okay?

[PrettyPinkTractor]

It hurts to feel like you're second-place in people's affections. Even though we "know" we can't allow our self-worth to be dependent on others' opinions, that can be hard to do. A friend (in her 50s) of mine shared an experience that's been helpful to me. She said that at one point, God allowed her to see her own mother for what the mother was: a hurting child in an adult body. As children and even as adults, we sometimes expect our parents to somehow be perfect, and they're not. None of us are. This isn't saying that sometimes parents aren't wrong, biased, or even evil, in what they do. It's just trying to separate what's an intentional act of neglect from what's simply a parent's limitations of time, money, knowledge, energy, etc. In any case, the problem was NOT with you or your worth before God, although that may be the message that you took away from the experience. Depression can have many causes. Sometimes it's deep lies that we tell ourselves about our self-worth, and these lies make us miserable. Sometimes it's a traumatic event, or internalized anger, or hormonal fluctuations, or genetic predisposition, or even blood sugar problems. But again, the fact that your parents seemed preoccupied with your brother has nothing to do with your worth or value. You're a valuable human being in your own right.

[beautyoutofashes54]

It is a challenge every day. I was diagnosed over 28 years ago and it is always a work in progress. For me, I go to my therapist and am adamant about taking my medications. That is my soapbox. Medications they are to help us and we need to be consistent in our taking them. However, we also must find ways to help ourselves as the medication is just a helper. I read, make cards and other little things. I write, bake and love hot baths. Yes, there are those days where I just can't, and I allow myself that, but I look myself in the mirror and say my mantra. In time I start feeling better. This past December my mom passed. It has been a rollercoaster, but I don't allow the ride to run too long. May you find what you need to help. As far as your boyfriend, take what he offers, he must love you enough to want to help and stay with you. My husband has been by my side no matter what and I cherish that. Always here if you want to talk more or chat.