Late night thoughts

[Suzhou]

I’m moving into my college dorm in 10 days and starting class in 16. I dropped out of this other college and transferred to this one. I’m starting to regret going back but I can’t back out now I put to much money into it. I’ve never liked school even as a kid I would cry before going to school. I read a quite somewhere about how you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. I feel like I should have just went straight into the working. School has a lot to do with my depression. When I’m in school I don’t eat or sleep properly. College makes me anxious and I have no good feelings about it. But I’m trying to take the normal route in life and get a degree but I don’t know if I can do it. School has never given me joy.

[fallen_leaf]

School is not always the right path for everyone and it’s no guarantee of success. Maybe find a vocational trade or take time off to work or study what makes you happy. What do you like to do? Or try online school.

[Suzhou in reply to fallen_leaf]

Ya I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have signed up again. I kept telling myself I needed a degree because I’ve already done a year and that if I didn’t do this now I would never do it. But now I’m so close to starting again and I’m kinda regretting it. I don’t know what I want to do which is the problem

[fallen_leaf in reply to Suzhou]

I finished law school even though I hated it because I finished one year. I ended up with a lot of student debt more than if I had just left after one year. I barely practice law because of my anxiety and depression and other factors. You don’t have to know what you want to do. Go try different things. Now a days so many people think you have to have a degree when you don’t. If you find a job you like and stick to it you will eventually rise through the ranks and get benefits. Think about what makes you happy and pursue that. Or maybe focus on electives and dabble in different subjects and maybe discover something new. What do you like to do? What brings you joy? Can you study something related to that?

[Suzhou in reply to fallen_leaf]

Ya I should have done that. I could start a normal job and then rise through the ranks. I’m regretting not doing it. But I’ve put a lot of money into it and if I cancel now it might be a waste. I’m think I’m going to try one semester. And if I’m not feeling it then. Then maybe I need to stop. The thing is a like a couple things. But they either require many years of school ( like to become a therapist ) or I just like to touch the surface of subjects but not dive a whole degree deep into them. :/

[fallen_leaf in reply to Suzhou]

At least you have a plan. Try the semester and if it’s not working just come up with a new plan. It’s never too late to go back to school or start a new career path. Maybe try internships or working at place where you think you would like. Like maybe work in a therapist office as a secretary or file person or something. I always think if I had worked at a law firm before law school I would have know it’s not for me or at least approached it differently. Good luck and try not to worry. 😉

[Suzhou in reply to fallen_leaf]

Yes thanks for talking with me I appreciate it 🖤

[Hidden]

I understand that I hated school like a lot except art and English in high school. I went to college for 10 months I hated that too. I was older too. One thing was I committed to it as a job. It was an investment in ME to get what I needed for ME later. It’s something you have to post on your walls you phone messages to self ... that you don’t take down. It pushed me through & I rewarded myself constantly be it a weekend away and or a new purse or activity & I was broke so it was small stuff but stuff I really wanted. I never regretted finishing. I was relieved that crap was over & I got a better paying job. Just my thought !! I got a certificate the course is 2 years now. That woulda cost me more if I had waited. I know quite a few people who got degrees and worked briefly in their field wound up getting jobs in other ones but the degree opened those doors. You don’t have to be married to your degree just use it like a key

[Suzhou in reply to Hidden]

Ya that’s what I’m thinking. That if I just gets a degree it will open doors for me even if it isn’t the exact same subject I got the degree in. I’m just taking it one day at a time