New to this group and just looking for people like me for support.

[Jan5578]

I finally realized today that I just do not have the support from my family and friends to get through this really bad depression that I am in. Especially not from my husband, which seems to make the anxiety and depression worse. I think from just reading up on things, he just doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t have the struggle. I’ve become more of a problem than anything else. We’ve been married for 12 years. There’s been quite a bit of discord. However, since we decided to start our own business a few years back, it’s REALLY bad. Our business failed this year. There’s quite a bit to my story. I in the past was always able to be strong enough to get through it. I have 2 older children from a previous marriage. Adults now and one child with current husband who is 10. I feel like a horrible mother because I can’t fix all the problems. Because I can’t make myself snap out of this. I do see a therapist and on meds. All, I know is that I have never felt this low or bad in my life. Like it almost paralyzes me. It’s super hard to go to bed. Even harder to get out of bed. I don’t care what I look like anymore and have to force myself to even shower. I’ve lost my joy. I do pray and read my Bible every day. Sometimes all I can do is say bible verses in my head over and over trying to feel better. I’m really scared. I think because I have nobody to help me. I know I can’t do this alone. Like I said before, there’s a lot more to my story. This is a good beginning to introduce myself on here.

[Agora1]

Hi Jan, Welcome to this amazing forum. I know what you are feeling. It is such a lonely,

scary feeling like you are struggling all by yourself. No one, family or friends can possibly

understand the fear we feel because it is not physical. Oh the symptoms may come on

strong physically but the origin is mental. I am so happy that you are here on this site where you will talk with others who totally understand and sympathize with your feelings.

You say you are on medication and in therapy which is a good start. However, stress needs

more than that. Finding other methods/tools to help stabilize your mood is important as well. While talking with others and sharing their experiences, you will learn how others

cope with high levels of anxiety/depression. You are no longer alone. We are in this

together to help and support each other because we care. xx

[Jan5578 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much! That was the hope of getting on here. I have absolutely nobody to talk to.

[Amlughelke]

I’m sorry you feel like you don’t have anyone to support you. I’ve been there too. Of course you can’t fix all the problems though, but it’s not a bad thing. Unfortunately life is always full of problems. I don’t know if this will help, but you could try singing and/or listening to uplifting or religious songs. My whole life I have had the defense of singing in my head a certain Christian song whenever I’m in a bad situation. It really helps.

[Jan5578 in reply to Amlughelke]

I do that as well! Thank you for reaching out. My “friend” circle is really really small. And I have already removed one very toxic friend earlier in the year. My parents are getting older and deal with my sibling who also suffers from depression and anxiety to the point he still lives with them. My marriage is really on the rocks and that’s the one person I really need right now.

[Amlughelke in reply to Jan5578]

I don’t know if this is the situation, but I know it sometimes bothers my husband when I get depressed and/or anxious, and it’s because he doesn’t like to see me that way (cause he wants me happy), and because he wishes he could take it away or do something about it, but he doesn’t know how.

[Jan5578 in reply to Amlughelke]

He’s really uptight too lol.