Disappointed in Myself

[EricJones]

I went to the PNC bank and saw a couple of strangers and then was talking to the people behind the desk, and was really tense, giving very limited eye contact and had a stiff body. I feel disappointed that I couldn't just blend in like the other people who were there, who weren't stressed out or feeling any kinds of nerves. I could use the support from others right now.

[NovemberBlue]

hey but you made it to the bank even though you have this anxiety. That’s awesome. Going out in public is challenging for a lot of us. Did you congratulate yourself on doing it? And maybe reframing your thinking to be less judgemental of yourself would feel better. Like instead of saying you wish you’d done it differently, make it a goal like “I went to the bank even though it was hard and I hope to be able to continue to work on calming my body in these situations in the future.”

[Craigliving4Jane]

Hi Eric

although I have my own challenges, such as being bipolar, which comes with manic episodes and ruminations, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem I have never experienced any type of things that you’ve described not only this post, but others.

That said, I may not be that great of help, but I want you to know that I feel your pain .

I was lucky and blessed enough to be able to have enough wherewithal to run my own business and nonprofit along with coaching you sports for 30 years so I tend to be a very solutions oriented person. You need to be that kind of way when you do the kind of things I did in my career.

is there anything you can tell me/us about what your diagnosis is and possible solutions. They would educate me so I can better understand you but also to understand what other people are going through with similar symptoms.

I along with so many others on here want to hear you eventually say you have these challenges lassoed.

Much love

Craig

[Dolphin14]

Eric

The big thing is you made it. Also remember, you don't know how many people in that line might have been feeling the same way. Many people struggle with this and get through it just like you did.

Keep moving forward and you will conquer this

Keep in mind that everyday is different. Today you did it, tomorrow you may not feel as strong and you don't beat yourself up for that. Treat yourself with kindness on the days that seem more difficult

🐬

[Agora1]

Eric, as you can see by the responses, everyone is happy that you were able to go

to the bank, nervous or not. Since being on this forum, I am seeing that there are

many who feel as you do but no one else notices.

A flashing blue light doesn't come on when we are experiencing high anxiety.

When I got well, I always looked for that person who may be experiencing a

panic attack and need support. Never have I found one and that's because it

doesn't show my friend.

I think we all feel that our stiff stance and eyes looking down portray a scared

frightened person but honestly no one even notices..

You did good my friend. Real good xx

[EricJones in reply to Agora1]

thanks Agora

[Stilltrying2]

I am with the others who have already commented. Hey, you did it! We can’t move forward without talking those first steps. Be proud of yourself and keep moving forward. Every step forward, big or small matters.

[hypercat54]

Hi what you need to do is immediately replace any negative thought with a positive one. When you think I was stiff and unbending, add on yes maybe but I went and got through it so well done me.

It takes conscious effort at first but keep at it and eventually the 2nd thoughts will be as automatic as the first negative ones. I did this - and it works.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to hypercat54]

Hi hypercat, I love your message, thank you. I had a struggle following it as written though.

If you don't mind, it's easier for me to read this way:

When you think "I was stiff and unbending," add on "Yes, maybe, but I went and got through it, so well done me."

I hope you're not offended. I think I may have a worse problem with this than many.

By the way, well done you. Terrific feedback.

[hypercat54 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Whatever floats your boat NBB. The point was to immediately add a positive thought to counter any negative ones. They then cancel each other out and you can put it to bed.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to hypercat54]

You're right. I wish it was easier for me.

[hypercat54 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to hypercat54]

Namaste 🙏

[EricJones in reply to hypercat54]

That's a very good point ..you wanna be truthful when you do this correct? Not just tell yourself if to make yourself feel better. You want to point out the literal things you think you did well, right?

[Nothing_but_books in reply to EricJones]

Your feelings can mislead you. I think  hypercat54 is suggesting we get in the habit of arguing with the self-critical ones.

[hypercat54 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Its balancing out the negative with the positive. What is the point of beating ourselves up when we are doing our best? There is enough people in life doing that to us so we don't need us to as well.

[EricJones in reply to hypercat54]

so i went downstairs to play ping pong with my friend and all i could think about is the waves of anxiety coming over my chest and head regions of my body.....i also was wondering whether my friend could see my displaying odd behaviors or not....that outweighed the positive time i had with him.

[hypercat54 in reply to EricJones]

Being positive is just as much truth as being negative. Its teaching your mind not to continue looking inward so much but outward too.

At the end of the day we can only do our best. Even if best is rubbish its still best. No one least of all ourselves can expect to do better than that.