The darkness is coming

[HopeforMiami]

I'm so scared. I've been a little sick and I've been sleeping a lot and I feel the depression and anxiety slowly creeping up and I don't know what to do except try to act normal but I don't think I'm going to be able to. I have a sinking feeling in my chest and I'm getting tears too easily.

[LoveforAll41]

Hi Hope, do you know what is bringing it on? For me it is often not feeling productive at work and I feel so ashamed of that. (As I am on here at work right now 😬)

I am not good at preventing stuff once I feel it coming, but do you have any self care that helps? A hot bath? A long walk? A good book?

I am really trying hard to sit in my feelings and accept them. It is perfectly okay to be sad at times. I hope you can find peace and ride this out ☮️

[HopeforMiami in reply to LoveforAll41]

It's the fact that I'm not going to have enough money to pay my rent in January and my sister, who is the only one who can help me, doesn't want to continue to help me. She helped me this month so that I wouldn't be evicted on Christmas but I'm not making enough money and without help, I'm loosing hope and I'm scared. So I feel like I'm just going to sink into a black hole.

[LoveforAll41 in reply to HopeforMiami]

Financial anxiety is extremely understandable and I think it is really scary. So much uncertainty! Have you tried any government resources around you? Shopping for other places to live? Looking for another job? I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is pretty much my worst nightmare so I understand that you are feeling these feelings. I think your anxiety shows that you care about security and I hope that you can let it motivate you to act. You are valuable and strong and I hope that you can value yourself and work hard for yourself getting this resolved. 💪

[HopeforMiami in reply to LoveforAll41]

I've been an interior designer for thirty years and the only side job I would be able to do would be architectural drawings on AutoCAD. They usually get young interns for that and a lot of work is done in 3D now, which I never learned since it started much later than when I was in school.I don't really have very transferable skills. And I have ADD so it makes it harder for me to get my head around things.

[TailWags]

Ive been there. I call it being on the verge. Or being emotionally wobbly.

[Starrlight]

❤️

[HopeforMiami]

It's my financial situation. I'm not working enough hours and my sister has been helping me but she said no more after December. I've been trying to stay distracted and be positive but I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent in January.

[catsrock]

I'm so sorry and totally get this feeling and it sucks. Do you have a therapist or someone else who can help you with this?

[HopeforMiami]

No.

[HopeforMiami]

Good question