Hey guys I just wanted to explain a bit about the situation with my family. Just a little update on how things are going.
It has always just been me and my sisters growing up. My mom
my sister (oldest) me (middle child) and then my other sister (youngest)
I completely cut them off about 3 weeks ago because we had a huge argument about a family situation and it just got out of control.
Well it hurts not being able to talk to your family and knowing that we have been so close always.
Well after 3 weeks of not having any contact with them I have really missed them and specially since seeing them at the party on Saturday. (Except my mom)
Well I upped the courage to send them all each a personal message. Only my older sister replied. I really knew she would answer as she was really trying hard to speak to me at the party on Saturday. But not only that we have alwaysssss been the closest because we are just a year apart. She is one year older than me. We went to school together we did everything together. So her answering me was expected.
On the other hand me and my younger sister bump heads A LOT! She did not answer me but also I was kind of expecting that from her.
Now for my mom she did not answer either.
That really hurt me. She would always side with my youngest sister when we fought and she lives with her as well. I’m really upset about my mom though. I just can’t understand, I can’t. Isn’t a mother supposed to be impartial towards her children? Always loving no matter what? It is really bringing me down. And making me want to crawl back to my dark corner. I am upset so upset typing this. I don’t understand how a mother can be like this. Someone help me understand, because I am hurt and I cannot. 🖤🖤🖤🖤 my dad was never a part of our life. So I have no mother no father. I look to others who have such a beautiful relationship with their parents. I ask god why couldn’t I have the same. It’s like my dad didn’t want me and didn’t care enough about me to be in my life. My mom doesn’t care either.
She has said hurtful things to me in the past. It has been hard to forgive her and move past it but I always have put my pride aside and forgiven her. It’s always like this, me trying to resolve issues. It’s always me that’s the one trying to bring peace. The sad thing is I haven’t done anything to her. Yet I have to always be the one to speak because I feel like if I don’t then she would really never make an attempt to speak to me. I even put my pride aside to talk to her and work things out. But it did not work. I wish I had a mother figure in my life I feel so alone.